A reply in a thread made me ask this..
How do you handle your kid continually asking for new toys?
Posted February 25, 2013 - 11:01 AM
A reply in a thread made me ask this..
How do you handle your kid continually asking for new toys?
Posted February 25, 2013 - 11:04 AM
Posted February 25, 2013 - 11:44 AM
Gerald are you asking for more toys AGAIN???? So what ya buyin now??? Or should I ask what ya wanna buy that the wife said NO.
Edited by js5020, February 25, 2013 - 11:46 AM.
Posted February 25, 2013 - 12:04 PM
I think JS has ya pegged!!!
Posted February 25, 2013 - 12:08 PM
How old is the kid? If old enough to understand, give them an economics lesson. Let them know you would be happy to buy them everything they wish, but explain to them that they are not the only one in the family with wants and that others in the family have needs as well; like food, clothing, roof, overhead, heat, electricity, etc.
Now would be a good time to open a dialog on how they could earn the money themselves, i.e. shoveling snow, mowing lawns, yard work, picking up their room, helping with dishes, or maybe even a job after school. Having them earn the money either though an allowance for chores or outright working for it will help to develop “character.” Good luck, no one ever said raising kids was easy.
And, by the way, My dad had to walk 5 miles to school uphill both ways.
Posted February 25, 2013 - 12:14 PM
Lots of ways you could handle this depending on the age of the child. You could say "add it to your Christmas-birthday list". Or you could figure a way for it to be a reward for work or good grades or as positve reinforcement of any good behavior. Same as removing privileges and fun stuff as punishment for wrong behavior. Sometimes ya just gotta say NO. Kids are pushing to find the limits and there needs to be limits to everything.
My dad walked to school but I don't know how far. What I do know is that he had 4 older sisters that reported to his father his actions, so no getting away with nothing.
Posted February 25, 2013 - 12:19 PM
I simply tell them that any incident that adds to their state of happiness is purely coincidental, and anticipation of a recurrence of such an event should not be expected.
Or,....
I say no a lot. And remind them that I'm their dad, not their rich bald uncle.
One other thing, Gerald. If that kid of yours is asking already, you got a long, tough row to hoe.
Posted February 25, 2013 - 12:20 PM
I found what you've been eying pal!!
But he wants the loader also and thats where the wife likely said NO
Posted February 25, 2013 - 12:21 PM
I found what you've been eying pal!!
PLEASE, PLEASE let that be Photoshopped!!
Posted February 25, 2013 - 12:27 PM
Well, I have more than one kid. Kids are wish generators, and want everything they see. I say "NO" a lot. I alternate saying "NO" with "Put it on your birthday/Christmas list". I do pay the kids for chores so they have some money of their own. However, I insist that they bring their own money shopping, Dad doesn't do credit. And I don't remind them to bring money shopping either.
What is becoming more common now, is issues with ordering when we do go out, which I try to limit what with being unemployed and in school. I'm pretty firm about only getting specials, or the dollar menu when eating out. Now the two older boys are bringing their own money along on trips so they can order whatever expensive burger they want!
PS: I DID grow up in an area where I could not get much. I frequently remind my kids of that. They don't like it LOL
Edited by HowardsMF155, February 25, 2013 - 12:28 PM.
Posted February 25, 2013 - 12:56 PM
It is a different culture the chillin's are growing up in these days and material possessions and personal appearance is godly and deeply entrenched into the young folk's culture! How many girls did you know in school that got manicures and dyed their hair almost weekly or even worse got piercings and tattoos all over their bodies??
Now your young lad may be asking the world of ya but you need to employ the old parental 'mis-direction' trick and downplay the importance and real significance of what they are asking for.. Explain the real worth of what it is he wants.. Another goodie is to switch the topic and direct their attentions elsewhere.. Our grandkids have been inundated with toys over the years and they are mostly discarded as they aren't appreciated.. (I'll just get another one!) (Yes--> Grandma & Grandpa doted quite a bit too!) They are now getting older and we are giving them useful items and cutting back on the worthless junk.. It's a struggle for sure but with a little time and work it can be done.. Don't feel bad that you can't give them everything they want.. It just prepares them for life and how to accept it at it's terms..
BTW-- We haven't seen any pictures of the lad lately.. What's with that??
Posted February 25, 2013 - 01:09 PM
I would just say no, as I did with mine. Culture today is designed to sell you anything and everything. It was that way when I grew up in the 70's and worse these days. I know it was there in the 40's and 50's. Secret decoder rings tied into radio broadcasts back then, now every cartoon or movie has toys and related items.
We had an established custom. Put it on your list for birthday and Christmas. With both of my children, there was enough space between the two that they were the major toy scores. If there was a special toy or item, they had to earn the item if it was that important to them.
Cell phones for young people were just coming into fashion when they were in their teens. I got them pay as you go phones. When you went over time, you had to earn more or stop talking.
Good luck. Sometimes it is very difficult if they can't have the toy or item EVERYONE else has.
Posted February 25, 2013 - 01:10 PM
"IF YOU WANT WHAT YOU HAVE, THEN YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE WHAT YOU WANT!"
Posted February 25, 2013 - 01:13 PM
You can say "no" or "go ask your mother". Both are tried and true Dadisms. My wife and I grew up in the 50s and 60s. We had enough toys. Now the kids have way too many. Their imaginations suffer for it. They don't read much but spend hours on mind numbing video games.
My wife used to go to tag sales when Ricky was little. They'd go out for a Saturday and come back late in the afternoon with the van full of toys for Ricky. She usually didn't spend much but it filled the house, we're still cleaning out the old toys. One of the best was the Little Tykes Cube with slide. I cleaned it and set it up in the livingroom with a sheet over it. It became his playhouse for the winter. He even took his naps in it. It turned out that he didn't even play with about half of the toys. Some because he didn't care for them and some brecause he liked them so much that he was afraid that it might get damaged if he played with it. We have alot of toys still in their packages. Those are being crated and store for his kids.
I used GTs as a reward and distraction for Ricky from age 2 on. Good Luck, Rick
Edited by boyscout862, February 27, 2013 - 07:51 AM.