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The Adventures Of My New Hat

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#1 UncleWillie OFFLINE  


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Posted December 03, 2012 - 08:06 PM

Warning: this thread may contain things that are politically, ideologically , religiously, financially, physically, grammatically and optically incorrect. This thread should not be taken internally, externally, orally, rectally or seriously. NO specific or generic warranty are expressed, implied, or desired.


Rather than make 400 posts of pointless drivel of stuff that happens to me I thought I would just do this. Since my wife works with me, and we are usually together 24 hours a day, I cant tell her about my day so - I will torture you - the good, long suffering members of GTT. That way I can remember if I told a story or not. And you all know which post to avoid.

My first post:


Long day today. Got up a couple of hours before the sun. Hit the end of the driveway at about 730. We started to the scrap yard and realized I had left the address I needed for a job at home. So I called my wife who was following me in her truck and told her to turn around and get it and meet me at the yard. Well she got a little over excited turning around and popped one of the tires on the heavily loaded small trailer off the rim. SO I turned around and changed the tire and sent her on her way. Got unloaded at about 9 and went to a little diner for breakfast.

Drove to Ingles and left her truck because there was no sense in taking with with us - I thought. Went to the bank to cash our checks from the scrap yard and they were putting in a new ATM and had most of the parking lot tied up. SO I pulled in with the Suburban and a 22 foot trailer and it got exciting fast. The side I pulled in on there was no way to see the mess in the parking lot.

Finally got untangled from that mess and headed up to Statesville to JR Cigar - my favorite store on earth. Since my humidor was empty I bought a fresh supply of stogies and a new hat - old one had a hole in it - and then headed up to a closed MF dealership in Odin, NC. By the time we got there it was 80 degrees outside. The guy who is leasing the building has the Dept of Natural Resources breathing down his neck for stuff that was there when the place closed 10 years ago.

HE had about 50 55 gallon drums,2 large fuel oil tanks, and a bunch of other stuff. Fortunately he also had a FEL.
Posted Image

We got it all loaded up including one tank that he said had about 20 gallons of kerosene in it. Since I didn't lift it I took his word for it. I was going to drain it into clean drums when I got home so we put it on the very back of the trailer.

Had I taken the other truck it would have come home filled with all kinds of misc scrap metal, but there is that 20/20 hindsight.

Heath had a ball. He was sitting in his stroller out of the way of the tractor enjoying every minute. HE was yelling and screaming and laughing at the tractor while sitting in a very strange position in the stroller.
Posted Image

We started home and I quickly realized that there was much more in the tank than he said. It is a 300 gallon tank and appears to be half full. You can imagine how exciting that was driving home. At 33 MPH the tank started sloshing and the trailer started controlling the truck. So a 1 hour drive on the interstate became a 2 1/2 hour drive on back roads.

SO tomorrow when the rooster crows I am out the door to drain the kerosene. knock holes in 50+ drums and then go to the scrap yard and take the wife back to her truck.

ANd for those who wonder: my cut stayed closed, my new boots are comfortable, my cigars are good, and my new hat is just slightly less new now. Heath is filthy and happy and chasing the cat around the room. I think Stephanie may have passed out in the living room floor but I am too tired to go look. The dogs will keep an eye on her. All in all it was a good day.

I am just not supposed to sweat in December.

Edited by olcowhand, December 06, 2012 - 02:59 PM.

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#2 chris m OFFLINE  

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Posted December 03, 2012 - 08:18 PM

LOL! After reading this I think I will do the same thing Stephanie is doing! I am glad you all made it home safe and sound! What a day!

(going to pass out now) :D
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#3 IamSherwood OFFLINE  


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Posted December 03, 2012 - 08:30 PM

:bigrofl: Sounds like a fun day. By the way, you're a good story teller.
Glad to hear your wound is fine, and your cigars are good.
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#4 UncleWillie OFFLINE  


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Posted December 03, 2012 - 08:37 PM

I always got high marks in school for creative writing - speeling and punkuaton a different stori
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#5 Team_Green OFFLINE  

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Posted December 03, 2012 - 11:56 PM

Did you get to take those wheel weights home??? Man i would love those..

#6 Farmlife OFFLINE  


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Posted December 04, 2012 - 04:56 AM

lol...great story there. Sounds like an adventure filled day for sure. Glad everyone is well and the day was beneficial...nuthn like a new hat huh.........

#7 KennyP ONLINE  



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Posted December 04, 2012 - 05:55 AM

Nice story. The weather is quite toasty here too. Especially for December.

#8 UncleWillie OFFLINE  


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Posted December 04, 2012 - 08:14 PM

Today started off a 330am when a crack head called me trying to sell a car for junk. I was not a happy person because he called me 4 times in a row. After saying un-nice things to him, muting my phone – which is also my alarm - then tossing and turning I finally drifted back off somewhere around 530. Alarm was set for 6. I woke up a 8.

SO already running late I made coffee checked email and GTT, got dressed and went out the door at about 845.

Remember that big oil drum I told you about yesterday? The one that was supposed to have 30 gallons of kerosene in it? Well I got my high tech tank emptying rig set up and drilled a hole in the bottom of it and started filling a clean 55 gallon drum.
I learned from experience that a big hole makes a big mess so I drilled a 1/4 inch hole and let the draining begin. BTW a 1/4 inch hole is neatly plugged by the uncut tip of a Lucas oil bottle or even the cap that fits over it.

IT didn't take me long to realize that one 55 gallon drum was not going to be adequate. And the scrounge was on for anything that would hold oil. We rounded up about 15 gas cans of various sizes and 32 gallons 2 pints worth of oil, antifreeze, milk and other misc jugs and pint sized bottles. Since only 5 of the gas cans had lids we began a transport run down the hill to where the waste oil tank is still sitting. With the wagon hooked up to the Hemorrhoid we filled up the cans and then Steph took them down the hill and poured them into the big tank while I worked on filling the big gas cans we had lids for and the drum.

Much coffee was ingested.

During this a neighbor came by and said he had some scrap for us so he and I went up and brought back a dead plasma cutter, some go cart wheels, and a jet ski with no engine. The jet ski will soon be in Heath's playground. What kid doesn't need a toy jet ski. ( plasma cutter is in front of the jet-ski to the right. NO idea if it works he said it didn't.)

Posted Image

Then back to the fuel oil transport run.
176 gallons (not counting the maybe 1/2 gallon that got spilled) later and we were done. At 230.

I smell like an oil refinery.

It was very boring - try pouring 176 gallons of oil thru a 1/4 inch hole sometime. Any bigger hole and it would have over powered my high tech tank draining device.
I did notice something odd though - someone explain it to me.
We had a nice fire where the fuel oil got spilled.

And I sweated more.

IN December.

Then I had to shift into high gear to run to the scrap yard, get unloaded, take Steph and Heath back to her truck that didn't get brought home last night. Then go to Charlotte- at 4PM - to a car dealership - on one of the busiest roads in Charlotte - to get a transmission and a couple of other parts.

Then to Steak and shake for my first meal of the day at 5pm. Portabella mushroom Swiss burger and a Dr. Pepper. I haven't had a fast food burger or a soft drink in probably 6 months. Man it was good.

Then hit the back roads to avoid the rush hour insanity on the interstates.

Got home and opened the fridge and realized I only had one beer. SO I saddled back up and went to the gas station, filled the BlueOx up with gas for tomorrow and grabbed a 6 pack. Now I am back home, one beer down, and ready to hop in the shower and de-dieselify myself.

Steph and Heath are at a party so I have the whole house to myself. Might even smoke a cigar.

Oh and my hat still looks great
Posted Image
Smells a bit oily though.

Edited by olcowhand, December 06, 2012 - 02:56 PM.

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Posted December 04, 2012 - 08:51 PM

Thank you. That was fun.

Oh, and I cried at that one part... You know, the part about looking in the fridge...
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#10 Cat385B ONLINE  



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Posted December 04, 2012 - 09:06 PM

The part about the stream flowing stronger when you tap on it? That fuel isn't real clean, nor is the tank. Little chunks of crud are sticking together around your drain hole. When you tap it, they break loose and come through. Then, when your back is turned, their cousins come creeping over to the hole and start congregating. Kinda like a bar parking lot fight after the cops have arrived.

'Burn it all at once. Well, not all at once. But a good bit of it.' :rolling:

:bigrofl: :bigrofl: :bigrofl: Be on the lookout for a fireball from the SE. May show up on satellite.

Edited by Cat385B, December 05, 2012 - 01:45 PM.

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#11 olcowhand ONLINE  


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Posted December 04, 2012 - 09:24 PM

Enjoyed your ride-along William! Busy busy! ..........and I like the hat! :thumbs:

#12 LilysDad OFFLINE  


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Posted December 04, 2012 - 09:43 PM

Nice hat!

#13 Arti ONLINE  

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Posted December 04, 2012 - 10:01 PM

My Hat's off to you for a great story...

#14 Farmlife OFFLINE  


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Posted December 05, 2012 - 04:26 AM

Big fan of the hat, and yes, you have great stories....keep them coming....always a good read!!
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#15 mjodrey OFFLINE  



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Posted December 05, 2012 - 04:57 AM

Thank you for that.