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The Bolens Bug


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#1 29 Chev OFFLINE  

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Posted May 22, 2016 - 07:38 PM

Hope it is ok to post this here - if not I am sure one of the moderators will delete it.  A little humour about a disease I call the "Bolens Bug" that most if not all of the members of the Bolens form suffer from to a certain extent.

 

The Bolens Bug

I have a disease that causes me pain

It makes me do things that I cannot explain

I want to buy tractors of Bolens brand

At unusual times – I don’t understand

Attachments to and parts as well

Things in my world are going to hell

They come up on the radar – I have to look

Once I see them I want them – no shaking the hook

Not sure when it started this dreaded disease

Can’t seem to stop – help me please

The wallet is open and the money spent

For something that’s old, rusty and bent

I try to say no but the word won’t come

I’m sure I look crazy and strange to some

My family they shake their heads and sigh

As for my wife she sometimes will cry

For better or worse were the words she once stated

I’m sure sometimes she wishes we had not dated

For while she tolerates my little affliction

She wishes I’d cure my hopeless addiction

To pieces of metal with gas and oil

That day after day I fuss over and spoil

To make them run nice and look kind of shiny

When they don’t work right she says I am whiney

She’s probably right – I get out of sorts

If magic smoke comes out when the wiring shorts

I’ll call it a virus – the “Bolens Bug” thing

It won’t make you die but it does leave a sting

That makes you feel sore if you go for a time

Without so much as spending a dime

On your next acquisition – that piece of treasure

Junk to most but gives you great pleasure

So if you see me looking sad and blue

Looking lost and alone with nothing to do

Remember my curse – my dreaded disease

That doesn’t make me sick or cause me to sneeze

But instead causes me hurt in a much worse way

By spending money – sometimes day after day

On a brand of equipment that was built to last years

Have some understanding but shed no tears

And remember as I do it could always be worse

It could be you that has this infectious curse


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#2 WrenchinOnIt OFFLINE  

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Posted May 22, 2016 - 07:42 PM

hehe, Stew I ABSOLUTELY love it !!!
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#3 HANKG OFFLINE  

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Posted May 22, 2016 - 07:46 PM

Well written, but I have to call doc Bolens now for a script, cause I have the same disease but not just for Bolens for all of them I'm a sick man.
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#4 29 Chev OFFLINE  

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Posted May 22, 2016 - 07:52 PM

Well written, but I have to call doc Bolens now for a script, cause I have the same disease but not just for Bolens for all of them I'm a sick man.

Yes it is a good thing guys like doc Bolens can script remedies for this disease or else it could turn into an epidemic of OWP (orphans without parts) proportions 


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#5 Bolens 1000 OFFLINE  

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Posted May 22, 2016 - 07:57 PM

Thats great, I love it!!! :rolling: :dancingbanana: :dancingbanana:

 

 

I've had the "Bug" since birth unfortunately :D


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#6 fonz3482 ONLINE  

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Posted May 22, 2016 - 08:25 PM

This is great! My wife agrees with this poem! Very nice work!! Lol!
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#7 ClassicBolens ONLINE  

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Posted May 22, 2016 - 09:21 PM

It's true.... every last word of it. LOL
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#8 Bolens800uk OFFLINE  

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Posted May 23, 2016 - 12:34 AM

That sums it all up to me. So that what I got, the Bolens Bug! Going to see my doctor this morning to get a sick note......
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#9 AA Hayes OFFLINE  

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Posted May 23, 2016 - 06:03 AM

Great poem! Hit it right on the button
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#10 Austen OFFLINE  

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Posted May 23, 2016 - 10:13 AM

Ahh, very clever Stew! I like it!! Well written. Oh so true. You really hit it from every angle.

 

I can relate to almost all of it.


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#11 29 Chev OFFLINE  

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Posted May 23, 2016 - 05:26 PM

Here is another poem that is along the same line and kind of explains how the Bolens bug works (at least with me) - hope you like it.

 

Bolens Garden Tractors – I Think I’m Addicted

 

At first I had none and came to no harm

Life seemed good growing up on a farm

I got to spend time driving around

On a D15 Allis disking the ground

Pulling the cultivator and harrows as well

In preparation for crops and all seemed well

Got through high school and joined the work force

Got a job at a John Deere Lawn and Garden shop as a matter of course

Fixing snowmobiles, trailers and of course garden tractors

These may have been some of the factors

That got me started – I am not sure

On a path of collecting that seems to have no cure

It occurred later on - in my fourties it started

A garden tractor showed up that had been discarded

A family member donated it to me

He’d gotten a newer and bigger one you see

An old Bolens 1050 that was born in my youth

It had seen better days and that is the truth

It looked a little sad from years of neglect

It ran of course and still had respect

Its paint was faded – speckled with rust

But it still could cut grass so it gathered no dust

For the first year it got little things repaired

It started to charge and showed it cared

That it had found a new owner that treated it kind

I think right there should have been the first sign

That I was starting to fall in love with a thing

That soon would become much like a ring

Though not attached to a finger it still had a bind

To my heart and my soul that I cannot define

That winter it stopped work and got taken apart

Repaired or replaced parts got a new start

Back to better condition this tractor would grow

And be fit for any task to go, go, go

By spring it was shining from headlamp to tail

The mower deck attached it was ready to sail

Through grass cutting duty all summer long

It purred like a kitten singing a song

That fall a snowblower got mounted to its front end

And all through the winter white stuff it would send

From my walkway to somewhere out of the road

All winter long every time it snowed

Then spring came again and so did the grass

Attachments got changed to match the task

A few years went by and then found another on sale

A second 1050 - I fought the urge but to no avail

I looked at the pictures there on the screen

It wasn’t a beauty but to me she was a queen

Complete with attachments she was a loving sight

I fought with my head but the heart won the fight

Emails were sent and money exchanged

The addiction had grown – I felt I had changed

I convinced myself she was a needed addition

Changing attachments would no longer be a tradition

They could stay already mounted and ready to use

When the need arose – time I would no longer loose

She followed me home to her new life

As a second assistant – almost a wife

She got a facelift along with a new motor

To help her perform her new role I told her

For any new job I wanted her ready

To run like a top – she would be my steady

She joined the team and fit right in

I swore once I looked and saw her lights grin

And shine with a big wide smile

The addiction was growing in a small subtle style

A few more years passed quietly by

And then number three caught my eye

A large frame HT23 with power steering no less

I should have known right then I was in a mess

On sale close by and priced to move fast

I told myself act quick – this ad won’t long last

I contacted the seller and asked how it looked

He said it was still for sale – I was hooked

Money was found and arrangements were made

And into my life this beauty strayed

Complete with a deck and other things fun

I knew right then that the deal was done

Into my life a new friend had come

I probably looked like a nut to some

Of the people who knew me – my sanity they thought

He’s lost it completely and no longer got

Dragging home tractors to fix up and ride

But they just shook their heads and sighed

They knew I was hooked like a fish drawn to bait

Wonder what I’ll buy next – I just can’t wait

I search on line to see what’s on the scope

Only twice a day so I know there’s still hope

That someday I will list my tractors for sale

What- are you crazy – I start to turn pale

The day that happens will be the day

I am dead and with them I can no longer play

 

 

 


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#12 fonz3482 ONLINE  

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Posted May 24, 2016 - 03:46 AM

Another great poem that describes most of us and our "sickness" as some call it.  I think they both should be printed and hung on everyone's shop/garage doors so anybody that enters fully understands what they are looking at when they enter. These can also be used as  prenups for marriage or relationships. I mean, our significant others need to know what they are getting into so they fully understand what they have the pleasure of seeing and dealing with on a daily basis. It's the symptoms of the "Bolens Bug" Watch out, It's contagious!!  :love: :bigrofl:


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#13 Paulgo OFFLINE  

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Posted May 24, 2016 - 07:57 AM


Life seemed good growing up on a farm

I got to spend time driving around

 

Pulling the cultivator and harrows as well

In preparation for crops and all seemed well


It occurred later on - in my fourties it started

A garden tractor showed up that had been discarded







 

Ditto!  I grew up on farm tractors and riding mowers. I knew there was something in between, but didn't have a clue as to how much work they could actually do...

 

Paul


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#14 29 Chev OFFLINE  

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Posted May 24, 2016 - 08:33 AM

Ditto!  I grew up on farm tractors and riding mowers. I knew there was something in between, but didn't have a clue as to how much work they could actually do...

 

Paul

Push mower and a walk behind tiller was all we had for the lawn and garden for many years - not complaining - lots of fun and great exercise.  It used to be fun to watch pieces of history show up in the garden as it got worked.  Found old bolts, a couple of tools and once a nice shiny quarter came to the surface - thought I was rich. 


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#15 MailmAn OFFLINE  

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Posted May 24, 2016 - 02:56 PM

Ditto!  I grew up on farm tractors and riding mowers. I knew there was something in between, but didn't have a clue as to how much work they could actually do...

 

Paul

 

Hey, Paul, I like your logo image there for the "Tractor Rescue".   Brilliant!  I think to a lesser degree that is what I am doing as well, I take in all these tractors no one else wants and I try to fix them up.  I haven't been succeeding too much lately though, unfortunately...


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