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Caption This! 5-20-16


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#1 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 04:33 AM

:poke:  :deadhorse:  :hitting_self_roller:

 

84372366.jpg


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#2 karl OFFLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 05:12 AM

The real Time machine.


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#3 crittersf1 OFFLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 06:33 AM

Semi-private facilities


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#4 jd.rasentrac OFFLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 06:38 AM

safety first


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#5 DennyIN OFFLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 06:43 AM

Controlled environment for the sake of the rest of the family!


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#6 dblover OFFLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 07:11 AM

The bathroom of the Texas Chili Cookoff Judge #3.  A simple fan was not enough, hence, the atmosphere containment and filtration unit.

 

Read about the judge's story below -  I know not the author, but would be glad to cite him.  Enjoy:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOTE: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the
first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better.
For those of you who may have lived in Texas
, you know how true this is!
They actually have a chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town.
It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome! You will
likely want to read this behind closed doors because, if you are like me,
you will be howling out loud.

INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER

Notes from An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was Visiting Texas
from the East Coast: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a
chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I
happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the
beer wagon, when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native
Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could
have free beer during the tasting, So I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:
________________________________________________________
CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy sh-t!  What is this stuff? You could remove dried paint
from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's
the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

__________________________________________________________

CHILI # 2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children.  I'm not sure what I am
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
give me the Heimlich maneuver. They rushed in more beer when they saw
the look on my face.

__________________________________________________________

CHILI # 3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have
been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now get me more beer
before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part
of my chest. I'm getting sh-t-faced from all the beer.

CHILI # 4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other
mild foods, not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste
it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing
behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. b-tch is starting to look HOT
just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

______________________________________________________

CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very Impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato.

Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no
longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics.
The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me
brain damage.  Sally stopped my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly
on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses
me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those
rednecks!

________________________________________________________

CHILI # 6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and
peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
Superb.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric
flames. I sh-t myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the
chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. Can't feel my
lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone!

___________________________________________________

CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum.  Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili
peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't
feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it
is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid
unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like sh-t to match my
damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any
oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole
in my stomach.


Edited by dblover, May 20, 2016 - 07:12 AM.

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#7 Bruce Dorsi ONLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 07:24 AM

The bathroom of the Texas Chili Cookoff Judge #3.  A simple fan was not enough, hence, the atmosphere containment and filtration unit.

 

Read about the judge's story below -  I know not the author, but would be glad to cite him.  Enjoy:)

 

 

 

 

:bigrofl:  :bigrofl:  :bigrofl: :bigrofl:  :bigrofl:  :bigrofl:


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#8 chieffan ONLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 08:22 AM

One way glass installed the wrong way.  At least it is not a shower !


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#9 toppop52 ONLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 08:26 AM

...Smell no evil...



#10 HANKG OFFLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 08:33 AM

    The transparent transgender stall coming to store near you soon. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE !


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#11 oldedeeres ONLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 09:03 AM

Must be in a Canadian Government facility....... transparency in all things is a big issue these days.


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#12 29 Chev ONLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 09:46 AM

Open to view with no P.U.

 

or

 

Private it's not

For those to do

What comes natural

Number one or two

Sign up for tickets

Enjoy the show

If you like to watch others

Go, go go

 

 


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#13 gtcsreg ONLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 10:56 AM

Acoustically effective.


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#14 Bill 76 ONLINE  

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Posted May 20, 2016 - 06:26 PM

that's one way to catch who's pissing on the toilet seat  


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#15 MGP59DB ONLINE  

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Posted May 21, 2016 - 11:45 AM

Those who @#&% in glass houses, should not fling feces' .


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