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Be thankful if your parents (grandparents) are still alive

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#1 sacsr ONLINE  


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Posted January 01, 2016 - 07:47 AM

A few of you know that my mother had a stroke 3 weeks ago and passed away 4 days later. She was 84 years old and was still living at home and driving herself to eat, hair dresser, etc. my father passed away 3 years ago after a long extended fight with Parkinson's and dementia (Lewie bodies disease) She went liked she had hoped for- still living at home and not a long term illness.
My reason for posting is not for condolences, but to prepare those who have not lost one or two parents yet. With the loss of my daddy after years of his illness, it was almost a relief not to see him suffer anymore. We knew it was coming so my grief was mixed with relief for him. (I had "lost" him years earlier since he had not been able to communicate in years). With my mother it was more of a shock, since she had always bounced back anytime she was not feeling well. The sense of losing both parents has been hard to bear. You have this profound sense of loss that you know you can not replace. I talked to my mother by phone on almost a weekly basis and sometimes more than that. Currently I still reach for my phone to call her for advice or to let her know about something her grandkids or great grandkids have done. Time will heal the pain, that I know. I have a beautiful family still here on earth so I know I am not alone and have a lot to look forward to. But losing your parents will change your perspective on life. I am now the patriarch of my side of the family - no one above to call to seek advice from. Life is just different now.
If you still have parents alive, make sure you stay in touch, make sure your children stay in touch- don't take for granted they will always be there.
My dad was a Methodist preacher and my mom was of strong faith as well. I know where they are and that they are together again. I can take peace in that.
For the new year, make a promise to communicate more with your parents and grandparents- it's time invested that will be well spent.

(My mother lived 10 hours away, but with my job I was able to spend probably 30-40 days a year with her. I am not regretting I should have done more, she knew I loved her and was there anytime she needed me- just like others who have lost a family member- was not ready to see her go)

God bless us all in 2016
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#2 olcowhand ONLINE  


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Posted January 01, 2016 - 08:09 AM

I am so sorry to hear this Scott, as I know you were very close to your parents, and now losing your Mom has to be very painful.  You've told me many times about visiting with your Mom, and a couple times when we spoke on your cell phone I could hear your Mom in the background, as you were there visiting.  Your faith will carry you through this, and your memories will keep your life blessed.

  If you need us, give us a call you hear!

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#3 jerseyeyes OFFLINE  

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Posted January 01, 2016 - 08:21 AM

Sorry to hear this Scott. I know how much your Mom meant to you and I really enjoyed her mayhaw jelly.(sp). She is in a better place now and with your Dad. God Bless you and your family.

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#4 JDBrian OFFLINE  


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Posted January 01, 2016 - 08:28 AM

Scott, thank you for taking the time to tell us about your Mom passing and how it has changed your life. I'm sure your post is timely for a lot of us here who have aging parents. Both my parents are still with us although they are ageing noticeably as they approach 80. We are planning a trip to see them within the next week. My wives father died 2 years ago of dementia and her mother has alzheimer's and is in a nursing home. If you have faith in god, as you obviously do, it makes it a lot easier to deal with the passage of time and the inevitable parting from loved ones. Thank You again for telling us about your journey through difficult times and I wish you and your family the best in 2016.

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Posted January 01, 2016 - 08:45 AM

I have had to experience much of what you say in the last 1.5 years since Dads passing.
Many things I always took for granted that just got done... still needing done by someone... Oh, that's me now.
Took almost a year for me to stop reaching for my phone to call dad for advice.

I talk to my Mom every morning on the way to work
Am up there many evenings in the garage. Later, we have dinner and enjoy a coffee together.

You didnt ask for condolences, I understand but will send them anyways. And I thank you for the reminder how our time here is fleeting and we should do our best to use it wisely.
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#6 KennyP ONLINE  



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Posted January 01, 2016 - 08:50 AM

Scott, sorry to hear of this! I know the sense of loss you are feeling. I lost my Dad 9 months after returning from 'Nam. Mom passed 9 years later. Both my brothers have passed and I am the surviving member. I still have times I want to reach out to any of them, just have to say a prayer instead.

Enjoy the memories you have of them both!

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Posted January 01, 2016 - 11:02 AM

Sorry to hear Scott.

I am in much the same as you were. My dad passed 3 years ago, Dec 28 after a battle with pulmonary fibrosis, tough to watch. My mother is 82, drives everwhere, volunteers at hospital, etc. She does live with us, but I see her health going down in some areas. Finding her passing some day is a fear. 


I don't hear many people that know about Lewie bodies. My aunt husband has it, just like Alzheimers, it's a rough disease to watch. 


I think as we get older, we start to value life and time with people more and more. I just had a high school pass away at 47 with heart attack, all of our classmates are in shock.  Value the days and make sure you have salvation through the Lord.  

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#8 propane1 ONLINE  

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Posted January 01, 2016 - 11:16 AM

Well said Scott. Both of mine are gone, farther 20 years, mother 13 years. I still think sometimes, oh I should go visit, oh yeah, there not here any more.

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#9 toomanytoys84 ONLINE  



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Posted January 01, 2016 - 11:36 AM

As of today my grandfather has been gone 14 years. He died new years day 2002. He was only 60 years old

I miss him every day still
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#10 drbish ONLINE  



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Posted January 01, 2016 - 12:03 PM

Well said; we seem to take for granted that the ones we Love will always be here; enjoy them while you can. 

 Thank you Scott for posting; reminds me of the times I should've visited my Grand-Ma Della; I just happened to see her in September 2015 after promising I would come to see her and I did. Thankfully we saw eachother then and less than a month she had passed away. The family remarked that she perhaps was waiting to see me before she went to Heaven.

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#11 Greasy6020 ONLINE  

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Posted January 01, 2016 - 12:07 PM

I've had 2 close calls with both my grandpas. One had cancer (beat it.) my other grandpa busted one hip trying to open the tail gate on his Ford truck. He then busted his other hip in the hospital. I take any chance to go hang out with him and listen to his stories.
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#12 sodisr OFFLINE  

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Posted January 01, 2016 - 12:10 PM

So sorry to here...   My condolences anyway  Scott..    I have no parents left either and this brings tears to my eyes ..  I miss them so much ..


  SO  YES ...   please stay in touch with your'e loved ones  YA NEVER KNOW ..!!!  Be it them,,,  OR  YOU  ...!!!

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#13 David Brown OFFLINE  

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Posted January 01, 2016 - 12:12 PM

Scott I am truly sorry to hear this.  Unfortunately I, as well as my wife, have a lot of experience in this department.  In a 7 year span we lost three parents between us.  My dad (who was the oldest of the group) is the last man standing.  He's 91 now and I cling to every minute I have with him because you never know.  The three previous parents suffered much before passing.  I hope this doesn't happen with dad.  It's terrible to witness and it just eats you up inside.  Hang in there Scott and lean on your faith and friends to get you through it.  You have a lot of sympathetic ears right here if you need them but it sounds as though you have a pretty good support system in place.

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#14 petrj6 OFFLINE  

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Posted January 01, 2016 - 12:54 PM

   Every day with my parents is a blessing, dad was diagnosed with cancer about 10 years ago and they gave him 6 months to live.  after surgery and treatment he has been fine since, now his mind and memory are failing so I have to keep an eye on him.  I renovated an apartment in the attic a few years back to give them a place to stay and so I can keep an eye on them. 


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