Jump to content

Nominations for Tractor of the Month
Garden Tractors and Parts on eBay



Photo
* * * * * 2 votes

Official Joke Thread


  • Please log in to reply
2192 replies to this topic

#1201 LilysDad ONLINE  

LilysDad

    Cat Lover

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 10443
  • 9,667 Thanks
  • 7,684 posts
  • Location: N. Illinois, DeKalb County

Posted June 20, 2015 - 10:24 AM

Did it have load leveler bars?



#1202 TAHOE OFFLINE  

TAHOE
  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 24522
  • 6,497 Thanks
  • 4,949 posts
  • Location: "Hamiltucky" Ohio

Posted June 20, 2015 - 10:32 AM

Did it have load leveler bars?

 Yea, they were hooked to the car and then back to the trailer, reversed from normal haha


Edited by TAHOE, June 20, 2015 - 10:32 AM.

  • LilysDad said thank you

#1203 DennyIN ONLINE  

DennyIN
  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Member No: 52096
  • 290 Thanks
  • 182 posts
  • Location: East Central Indiana

Posted June 20, 2015 - 10:32 PM

The other day I went over to a nearby CVS Pharmacy. When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the Pharmacists' Counter is located and took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter. The pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me. I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?" Being I'm a senior citizen...I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me, and picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around. Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing. When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked, "Now, does that taste sweet to you?" The pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, "HELL NO!!!" So I said, "Oh thank God! That's a real relief! My doctor told me to get a pharmacist to test my urine for sugar!"

Well, I can never go back to that CVS, but I really don't care though, because; they aren't very friendly there anyway.
 
 
 
 
 
 

  • Bruce Dorsi, KennyP, tractorgarden and 5 others have said thanks

#1204 WNYTractorTinkerer OFFLINE  

WNYTractorTinkerer

    Tinker Master

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Member No: 10789
  • 8,317 Thanks
  • 4,664 posts
  • Location: Avon, NY

Posted June 23, 2015 - 05:14 AM

11113176_877886602249165_6004505022795151639_n.jpg


  • olcowhand, KennyP, tractorgarden and 3 others have said thanks

#1205 adamjd200 OFFLINE  

adamjd200
  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 39654
  • 1,405 Thanks
  • 1,537 posts
  • Location: central Ny

Posted June 23, 2015 - 01:59 PM

Now that was funny.



#1206 WNYTractorTinkerer OFFLINE  

WNYTractorTinkerer

    Tinker Master

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Member No: 10789
  • 8,317 Thanks
  • 4,664 posts
  • Location: Avon, NY

Posted June 25, 2015 - 12:07 PM

A Man died and went to heaven.

 

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly
 Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

 

He asked,   "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on
Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

 "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?

 "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never
 moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

 "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock
 is that one?"

 St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's
 clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told
 only two lies in his entire Life."


 "Where's Hillary Clinton's clock?" asked the man.

 

 

"Hillary's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."


  • MH81, KennyP, tractorgarden and 4 others have said thanks

#1207 bh115577 OFFLINE  

bh115577
  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 9791
  • 434 Thanks
  • 235 posts
  • Location: Canastota NY

Posted June 27, 2015 - 10:12 AM

Two old friends, Sally and Jane, met in the street one day. “I’m going to have triplets!” said Sally. “My doctor told me that triplets are conceived only once in every three million times!” Jane said, “Three million! Good gracious, Sally. When did you ever find time to do the housework?”


  • MH81 and WNYTractorTinkerer have said thanks

#1208 MH81 ONLINE  

MH81

    Proud to be Deplorable

  • Staff Admin
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 802
  • 27,313 Thanks
  • 28,632 posts
  • Location: N. W. PA

Posted June 27, 2015 - 11:13 AM

image.jpg
  • KennyP, tractorgarden, diesel nut and 1 other said thanks

#1209 bh115577 OFFLINE  

bh115577
  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 9791
  • 434 Thanks
  • 235 posts
  • Location: Canastota NY

Posted June 27, 2015 - 03:40 PM

A real woman is a man's best friend...

She will never stand him up and never let him down.

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad
day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live
without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most
intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in
the room

She will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and
invincible...

No wait... Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that.


  • MH81, KennyP, CRFarnsworth and 2 others have said thanks

#1210 oldedeeres ONLINE  

oldedeeres
  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 14008
  • 5,870 Thanks
  • 3,199 posts
  • Location: Rivers End, Saskatchewan

Posted June 30, 2015 - 12:54 AM

She was outside pulling weeds on a hot summers day when her husband came out of the house and asked what was for supper.

Irritated at the thought that he was inside in the cool while she was working, and still wanted supper she said "imagine I'm off on a trip somewhere and make supper yourself!"

 So, in he went and made a nice rare steak, salad and a baked potato, and set it all up with a tall, cold beer.

Just as he was finishing it up, she came in and asked, "where's mine?"

"Huh?" he said " I thought you were off on a trip!"

 

 

 

The Dr. said as soon as the double vision goes away he can have his driver's licence back.


  • MH81, KennyP, CRFarnsworth and 3 others have said thanks

#1211 CRFarnsworth OFFLINE  

CRFarnsworth

    Member

  • Senior Member
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 6275
  • 3,645 Thanks
  • 1,735 posts
  • Location: Rossville Illinois

Posted June 30, 2015 - 08:18 AM

A real woman is a man's best friend...

She will never stand him up and never let him down.

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad
day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live
without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most
intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in
the room

She will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and
invincible...

No wait... Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that.

My wife says "YOU'RE NOT RIGHT!!"       (I thought it was funny though)       Rick


  • MH81, KennyP, bh115577 and 1 other said thanks

#1212 bh115577 OFFLINE  

bh115577
  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 9791
  • 434 Thanks
  • 235 posts
  • Location: Canastota NY

Posted June 30, 2015 - 08:39 AM

My wife says "YOU'RE NOT RIGHT!!"       (I thought it was funny though)       Rick

 

 

Mine says the same thing. I think I'm starting to see a trend.


  • MH81 and WNYTractorTinkerer have said thanks

#1213 MH81 ONLINE  

MH81

    Proud to be Deplorable

  • Staff Admin
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 802
  • 27,313 Thanks
  • 28,632 posts
  • Location: N. W. PA

Posted June 30, 2015 - 11:16 AM

Mine says the same thing. I think I'm starting to see a trend.

image.jpg
  • KennyP, CRFarnsworth, bh115577 and 1 other said thanks

#1214 CRFarnsworth OFFLINE  

CRFarnsworth

    Member

  • Senior Member
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 6275
  • 3,645 Thanks
  • 1,735 posts
  • Location: Rossville Illinois

Posted June 30, 2015 - 05:47 PM

Insanity is hereditary.   

   

  YOU GET IT FROM YOUR KIDS!!!           Rick


  • MH81, KennyP, bh115577 and 1 other said thanks

#1215 KennyP ONLINE  

KennyP

    FORDoholic

  • Super Moderator
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 2253
  • 28,479 Thanks
  • 39,716 posts
  • Location: Collinsville, Oklahoma

Posted June 30, 2015 - 06:07 PM

I have no 'better half' and I'm enjoying every post!


  • MH81 said thank you




Top