Official Joke Thread
Posted January 14, 2012 - 05:33 AM
Posted January 14, 2012 - 10:07 AM
After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, 'Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?'
The rabbi responded, 'Yes, that is still one of our laws.'
The priest then asked, 'Have you ever eaten pork?'. To which the rabbi replied, 'Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.'
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, 'Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?'
The priest replied, 'Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.'
The rabbi then asked him, 'Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?'
The priest replied, 'Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.'
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said, 'Beats the heck out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?'
- mjodrey, tractorgarden, Michiganmobileman and 1 other said thanks
Posted January 14, 2012 - 10:31 AM
Posted January 14, 2012 - 10:36 AM
Posted January 14, 2012 - 04:13 PM
I thought you guys would be falling out of your chairs after watching this.Huh,who knew?
Wasn't falling out of my chair but I did laugh out loud.
Posted January 15, 2012 - 08:34 PM
A hooded robber burst into a Minnesota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off,
revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moments hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him.
The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared,
looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak.
Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Wisconsin tentatively raised his hand and said,
"My wife got a pretty good look at you."
- tractorgarden and zam have said thanks
Posted January 15, 2012 - 09:15 PM
Posted February 04, 2012 - 09:35 AM
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap
in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front
of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides
off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then
hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his
overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his
stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from
his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What in the world ya
doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an
obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me 'n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom
department, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to
(Don't make me come splain this to you! Read the last line again, slowly.)
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- MH81, caseguy, GTTinkerer and 1 other said thanks
Posted February 13, 2012 - 09:04 AM
- IamSherwood said thank you
Posted February 13, 2012 - 09:40 AM
Posted February 13, 2012 - 09:49 AM
Posted February 13, 2012 - 10:00 AM
Posted February 13, 2012 - 10:18 AM
Finally, the reason for blonde jokes
Posted February 13, 2012 - 10:26 AM
Dumbest blonde ever