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Official Joke Thread


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#91 mjodrey OFFLINE  

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Posted December 18, 2011 - 05:32 AM

I laughed out loud. Right out loud. Bwahahaha. People at work are looking...



Have to agree with Alan,that was funny .

#92 grand OFFLINE  

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Posted January 10, 2012 - 04:58 PM

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the town’s preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa.”




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#93 caseguy OFFLINE  

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Posted January 10, 2012 - 06:43 PM

:bigrofl: :bigrofl: :bigrofl: :bigrofl: :bigrofl: :bigrofl:

Thanks Grand! I needed that!

#94 DougT ONLINE  

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Posted January 10, 2012 - 10:26 PM

I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite.
I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few
seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.
I tried this a few more times with no success.

All the while, my wife Nancy is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yelled to me,
'You need a piece of tail.'

I turned with a confused look on my face and yelled back,
'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'
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#95 mjodrey OFFLINE  

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Posted January 12, 2012 - 05:01 PM

Not a joke,but I found it pretty funny.

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#96 IamSherwood OFFLINE  

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Posted January 13, 2012 - 07:18 AM

:bigrofl:

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#97 mjodrey OFFLINE  

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Posted January 13, 2012 - 08:24 AM

Blonde you say. :bigrofl: :bigrofl: :bigrofl: :bigrofl: :bigrofl:

#98 mjodrey OFFLINE  

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Posted January 14, 2012 - 05:16 AM

Not a joke,but I found it pretty funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAHSUTB5BJc



I thought you guys would be falling out of your chairs after watching this.Huh,who knew?:D
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#99 KennyP OFFLINE  

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Posted January 14, 2012 - 05:33 AM

First time I've seen this guy. It is pretty funny.

#100 GTTinkerer OFFLINE  

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Posted January 14, 2012 - 10:07 AM

[FONT="]A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other in an airplane.

After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, 'Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?'

The rabbi responded, 'Yes, that is still one of our laws.'

The priest then asked, 'Have you ever eaten pork?'. To which the rabbi replied, 'Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.'

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, 'Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?'

The priest replied, 'Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.'

The rabbi then asked him, 'Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?'

The priest replied, 'Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith.'

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said, 'Beats the heck out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?'
[/FONT][FONT="]

[/FONT]
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#101 MH81 OFFLINE  

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Posted January 14, 2012 - 10:31 AM

Bwahaha :bigrofl: :laughingteeth:

Thank you.

#102 tractorgarden OFFLINE  

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Posted January 14, 2012 - 10:36 AM

:bigrofl: Thats funny , I dont care who you are!

#103 Lovintractorin OFFLINE  

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Posted January 14, 2012 - 04:13 PM

I thought you guys would be falling out of your chairs after watching this.Huh,who knew?:D


Wasn't falling out of my chair but I did laugh out loud. :bigrofl:

#104 GTTinkerer OFFLINE  

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Posted January 15, 2012 - 08:34 PM

My 78 year old Aunt keeps sending these jokes to me and they are just too darned funny not to share.
Bill

OOF~DA !!!!!!!!
[FONT="] [/FONT]
A hooded robber burst into a Minnesota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off,
revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moments hesitation.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him.
The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared,
looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?

There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak.

Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Wisconsin tentatively raised his hand and said,
"My wife got a pretty good look at you."
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#105 tractorgarden OFFLINE  

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Posted January 15, 2012 - 09:15 PM

A fisherman and his wife had a set of twins; They did not yet have names for them. The fisherman having noticed after laying his twins on the floor, that one twin always looked away from the sea,while the other twin always looked towards the sea. So he told his wife that they should name their sons Towards and Away.Years passed and the father told his sons that it was time to learn the fishing trade so they could support themselves. The boys and there father left on the fishing boat but failed to return that night. For over a year the women would walk the sea shore looking for her men, then one day she saw her husband walking to her. she asked WHERE ARE THE BOYS! He said ma, I have some bad news, It seems just offshore when we left, Towards hooked the biggest fish I have ever seen, He and his brother fought that fish for two days until it finally pulled Towards overboard and ate him.What about the other boy dear? YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY!




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