Brad and Carrie pay homage to the nurse in Maine under quarantine.
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Posted November 06, 2014 - 05:59 PM
Yesterday I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the "Walmartians" is always good for some comic release. Besides I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent this establishment. But, I digress -- enough of my psychological fixations. While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?" "No," I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that cap?"
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." I thought this was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh?" the "Walmartian" queried, "When was that?" God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I answered, as straight-faced as possible.
He pondered my response for a moment and then asked, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?" "It was a Black Operation. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way too much fun!
"Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy, and in a low voice said. "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."
"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?" "Not really. The other guys were all wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."
"Oh yeah?" he gave me that, 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack, she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw the Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.
Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped into the car and sped out of the parking lot in a flurry of dust.
What a great time I had! Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security cap. Then the next day I will go to the DMV so I can wear a Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty out the place. Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!
Posted November 06, 2014 - 07:29 PM
Posted November 06, 2014 - 09:29 PM
I don't no why but that one just gave me the hebee jeebies.
Posted November 06, 2014 - 10:59 PM
Posted November 10, 2014 - 10:42 PM
Posted November 11, 2014 - 06:21 PM
The lawyer says: "I have good news and bad news."
The CEO replies: "I’ve had an awful day, let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer says: "Your wife invested $20,000 in five pictures that are worth a minimum of $2 million."
The CEO replies enthusiastically: "Well done, that is very good news indeed! You've made my day; now what is the bad news?"
The lawyer answers: "They are pictures of you in bed with your secretary."
Posted November 18, 2014 - 03:39 PM
Ha i seen a bmx bike wanting to trade for a dodge cummins or similar truck the other day i laughed
Posted November 18, 2014 - 09:56 PM
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"
Posted November 25, 2014 - 10:02 AM
Posted November 25, 2014 - 06:17 PM
those of us who are gracefully “aging”, this is a great
That is great. The rule at my house is if you can't eat it don't. If you can't eat anything bring your own. If you want to fuss about the food stay home.
Posted November 25, 2014 - 08:15 PM
Good video, Doug!