SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE HUMOR..
Here we go:
Some are bad--> you've been warned!!
• I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest hoo hoo she had ever laid her hands on.I said, "You're pulling my leg."
• I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice. At least I presume she was poor. She only had $1.20 in her purse.
• My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
• Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt. Do you think I should change dentists?
• A wife says to her husband, “You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back.” He says, “What do you expect? You're in awheel chair.”
• I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening".
• The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I went to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.
• At the Senior Citizens Center, they had a contest the other day. I lost by two points. One of the questions I missed was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa.
• A new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.
• You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.
• A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother has a mustache."
• Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No! It's normal people porn, you sick bastard!
• The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
Edited by WNYTractorTinkerer, January 20, 2013 - 08:21 AM.