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Official Joke Thread


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#391 caseguy OFFLINE  

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Posted November 19, 2012 - 08:12 PM

Yes. A youngest Son. (I have 4. 2 girls &2 boys)

#392 marlboro180 OFFLINE  

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Posted November 19, 2012 - 11:43 PM

Yes. A youngest Son. (I have 4. 2 girls &2 boys)


Now that right there is funny...

#393 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted November 20, 2012 - 08:45 AM

Ahhh... I see!

#394 marlboro180 OFFLINE  

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Posted November 20, 2012 - 01:19 PM

A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well
"Yes! Of course! My pop taught me...even more than 10"
"Good. What comes after three?”
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your erm...dad did a good job. Now...so what comes after...lets say ten?"




"A jack"


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#395 Guest_rat88_*

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Posted November 20, 2012 - 01:43 PM

Now that right there is funny...


I thought the joke went "I have 3 kids, one of each"

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#396 Cat385B OFFLINE  

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Posted November 20, 2012 - 09:18 PM

.so what comes after...lets say ten?"




"A jack"



I did that in Kindergarten.

'Count to 20, Scott'

'Yes, Mrs. Ahrens. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, Jack,Queen,King,Ace,20!'

Another instance where having my great aunt as my teacher did not turn out well. :wallbanging:


I also did this one:

'Scott, count to 10, by twos.'

'Yes, Mrs. Ahrens. 15-2, 15-4, 15-6, 15-8, 15-10.'

That one got my grandfather in trouble.

(and a double run of three makes sixteen, btw)

Edited by Cat385B, November 20, 2012 - 09:26 PM.

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#397 mjodrey ONLINE  

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Posted November 22, 2012 - 05:37 AM

Yes. A youngest Son. (I have 4. 2 girls &2 boys)




When I first looked at that,I thought it said 4.2 girls,and I was thinking ??????? :D
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#398 DougT OFFLINE  

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Posted November 22, 2012 - 10:45 AM

Here is a cute song about something we've all experienced, "Senior Moments"



http://www.youtube.c...1tMioGgXI?rel=0
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#399 marlboro180 ONLINE  

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Posted November 22, 2012 - 11:56 PM

That was a great song, thanks for sharing it LOL

#400 WNYTractorTinkerer OFFLINE  

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Posted November 24, 2012 - 10:08 AM

Don't you just LOVE Spell-Check???

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  • I LOVE Spellcheck!.jpg

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#401 DougT ONLINE  

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Posted November 26, 2012 - 03:35 PM

The Hostess Bakery Plant shut down Friday due to a workers' strike.

It was split up.

The State Department hired all the Twinkies.

The Secret Sevice hired all the HoHos.

The generals are sleeping with the Cup-cakes

and the voters sent all the Ding Dongs to Congress.



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#402 mjodrey ONLINE  

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Posted November 29, 2012 - 08:09 AM

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#403 mjodrey OFFLINE  

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Posted November 29, 2012 - 11:38 AM

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise',







The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slamsback down.







'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..






Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.







'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?'








The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise'

(You're going to love this, and you're going to hate yourself for loving it!...)










'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck. :D :D :D :D
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#404 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted November 29, 2012 - 12:07 PM

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#405 DougT OFFLINE  

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Posted November 29, 2012 - 06:04 PM





Annie, 6 years old, got home from school. She had had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asked, "How did it go?"
"I nearly died of shame!" Annie said.
“Why?” her mother asked.
Annie said, “Kay from down the road, says that the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
Skylar says you can buy babies at the hospital.”
Her mother said. “But that’s no reason to be ashamed.”

“No, but I just couldn’t tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!”

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