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Official Joke Thread


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#16 NUTNDUN OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 04:34 PM

The C.I.A. was taking applications. After going through the thousands they received, they got it narrowed down to 3 applicants who where told to come in with their wives for an interview.

The first applicant and his wife were called in for an interview. After some rather routine questions, the wife was asked to wait in the next room. The personnel director opened a desk drawer and pulled out a snub nosed .38. He told the applicant to follow his wife into the room next door and shoot her. He declined telling the agent he couldn't do that, he loved his wife. He was then promptly told he was not C.I.A. material.

The second applicant and his wife went through the same interview, and his wife was told to wait in the next room. Again, the snub nose was pulled from the desk and he was told to go shoot his wife. He picked up the revolver, walked over to the door, hung his head and returned to the desk. I can't shoot my wife, I love her he told the agent. Again, he was not C.I.A. material.

Applicant number three and his wife went through the interview, after, his wife was told to wait in the next room. The revolver again was brought out and he was told to go shoot his wife. He grabbed the gun, walked to the door and went through closing the door behind him. BANG!! The agents nodded to each other. BANG, BANG!! BANG BANG BANG!!! Then silence. The agents shook hands with each other. All of a sudden they heard the most terrible screams, banging and the sound of furniture breaking in the next room. Quickly, they ran to the door and went in to see the man standing over his dead, battered wife. "What the hell happened!!!" they asked him. Applicant three told them, "some jerk put blanks in the gun, I had to choke her!"


OMG, that is just wrong but funny LOL.

Edited by caseguy, July 26, 2011 - 05:57 PM.

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#17 wvbuzzmaster OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 04:50 PM

OMG, that is just wrong but funny LOL.

I agree completely! Definitely hilarious. :bigrofl:

#18 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 05:00 PM

Guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. While there, he keeps hearing piano music. Seeing no speakers, jukebox, etc... He finally asks the barkeeper where the music was coming from.

The bartender shows the customer a bookshelf. On the third shelf was a foot tall guy playing a miniature piano. The little man asks if the customer has any requests. He said "no" and continued drinking his beer. Eventually the bartender comes back around and the customer says " Thats really cool! Where did you find him?"

The bartender goes into the back room and returns with a lamp, sits it down in front of the customer and instructs him to rub it. He does, and out pops a Genie. The genie loudly announces (with the dialect of someone hard of hearing) "Master, I grant you one wish". The guy says " That's easy! I want a Million Bucks". The genie snaps his fingers, disappears, and is replaced by a million Mallard Ducks.

The customer says indignantly "Hey, that's not what I wished for!!!".

The bartender looks at him and says " You think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
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#19 NUTNDUN OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 05:15 PM

That is too funny. I think we might have to start a joke thread :D

#20 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 05:18 PM

That is too funny. I think we might have to start a joke thread :D


Better get those bad word filters an oil change some seafoam, and a new plug.

Edited by MH81, July 27, 2011 - 09:21 PM.


#21 michelle OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 05:32 PM

:bigrofl:

#22 NUTNDUN OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 05:43 PM

Ok, with all of the jokes getting posted lately figured it would be best to have an official joke thread.

Please keep them as clean as possible since this is a family oriented site.
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#23 drbish ONLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 05:52 PM

a panda bear walks into a bar sits down and orders his meal.When he gets done eating he gets up and walks out ,on his way out he pulls a gun out of his fur and shoots the waitress,the bartender is livid and says what are you doing?the panda bear asks the bartender do you know what i am,the bartender says yes,the panda bear says go home and look me up in the dictionary,the bartender finds out a panda bear eats chutes and leaves
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#24 Gibby OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 07:39 PM

Ok, with all of the jokes getting posted lately figured it would be best to have an official joke thread.

Please keep them as clean as possible since this is a family oriented site.


Rated "G" clean, or is "PG-13" allowed?

#25 wvbuzzmaster OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 07:46 PM

Since I don't make good jokes I won't even bother trying, I will just keep laughing at the good ones lol.

#26 NUTNDUN OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 07:55 PM

Rated "G" clean, or is "PG-13" allowed?


I think PG-17 is allowable as long as they are not mean racist and no extremely foul language but the bad word filter will catch them anyway. Think of it this way, if you had teenage kids would you want them reading it? If not then it probably wouldn't be appropriate.

The bad thing is teenagers nowadays know more then what I do LOL.

#27 wvbuzzmaster OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 08:11 PM

The bad thing is teenagers nowadays know more then what I do LOL.

I think you underestimate you're intelligence George, just look at you, the most important man here. I know what intelligence looks like George, and I saw it in your face, you were very confused looking, a certain sign of intelligence lol.

#28 Sparky OFFLINE  

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Posted July 26, 2011 - 08:24 PM

Or how about this one - at our Lion's meeting last night a member who recently got married was being discussed and what we could possibly give him as a present . I ( I love my wife ) suggested a ball and chain as a lark . Another member didn't wait for me to finish - aw he already has one of those

#29 mjodrey OFFLINE  

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Posted July 27, 2011 - 05:38 AM

Now that's a good one.

#30 akretowicz OFFLINE  

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Posted July 27, 2011 - 06:41 AM

Here is a good one. Two Irishmen walked out of a bar.




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