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Official Joke Thread


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#256 Sparky OFFLINE  

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Posted September 02, 2012 - 09:14 AM

Here's a good joke : who was the smarty pants who put steering on a hay wagon? What a joke trying to back up with a pickup with and extended wheel base..... boy am I out of practice....... took me at least 10 trays to get the hay wagon in the barn tonight sheesh, what a looser...... :(

Since this is the joke section - stay off the cell phone in " heavy traffic " .

#257 Sparky OFFLINE  

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Posted September 04, 2012 - 09:09 PM

Try this out for size . If you replace an elected leader with one twice or three times as smart as the one you now have , How would you be be able to tell the the difference ? Let's cut down some trees and find out .
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#258 Toolpartzman OFFLINE  

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Posted September 05, 2012 - 06:30 AM

Try this out for size . If you replace an elected leader with one twice or three times as smart as the one you now have , How would you be be able to tell the the difference ? Let's cut down some trees and find out .

No one in LA owns a shovel.
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#259 Toolpartzman OFFLINE  

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Posted September 05, 2012 - 07:02 AM

No one in LA owns a shovel.

Remember California is the land of fruits and nuts------------- Anyplace else, trees are
relocated with one of these:

Posted Image

Edited by Toolpartzman, September 05, 2012 - 07:04 AM.

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#260 Sparky OFFLINE  

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Posted September 05, 2012 - 04:49 PM

Remember California is the land of fruits and nuts------------- Anyplace else, trees are
relocated with one of these:

Posted Image

One way to make change happen . Like LeBron finally finding the last 25 cents.

#261 Toolpartzman OFFLINE  

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Posted September 05, 2012 - 05:36 PM

When the LA tree-cutting story hit yesterday, I was confused about all the uproar.

After all, being California., and LA specifically, who'd guess they'd be real ??



:laughingteeth: :laughingteeth:
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#262 Sparky OFFLINE  

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Posted September 05, 2012 - 05:41 PM

And I was referring to election pamphlets - I got double my money for nothing .

#263 Sparky OFFLINE  

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Posted September 05, 2012 - 05:44 PM

The shoveling the ( stuff ) stuff could be a separate issue.

#264 Sparky OFFLINE  

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Posted September 05, 2012 - 06:00 PM

When the LA tree-cutting story hit yesterday, I was confused about all the uproar.

After all, being California., and LA specifically, who'd guess they'd be real ??



:laughingteeth: :laughingteeth:

This also brings up an environmental question - how much jet fuel will be used to go see where the trees were cut to make a path to park something that used to fly ? Just asking .

#265 mjodrey OFFLINE  

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Posted September 06, 2012 - 06:52 AM

Here's a good joke : who was the smarty pants who put steering on a hay wagon? What a joke trying to back up with a pickup with and extended wheel base..... boy am I out of practice....... took me at least 10 trays to get the hay wagon in the barn tonight sheesh, what a looser...... :(


I hear ya Keith,it is very hard to back up a hay wagon.Even with practice,it's still hard.
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#266 drbish ONLINE  

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Posted September 08, 2012 - 04:42 PM

Did you know
The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner

Here's a little fact for automotive buffs or just to dazzle your friends.




The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office.

They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.

They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show --
Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.

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#267 GTTinkerer OFFLINE  

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Posted September 08, 2012 - 05:24 PM

I hear ya Keith,it is very hard to back up a hay wagon.Even with practice,it's still hard.


That's why most tractors in this part of the world have a hitch on the front of them to push the hay wagons into the haymow instead of trying to back them in. Just pull them in close unhook and rehook on the front. With the old Oliver 70 row crop tricycle it was pretty easy then.

#268 DougT ONLINE  

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Posted September 09, 2012 - 09:11 AM

The Baptist Cowboy








A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking." "Hasn't affected my brothers though."


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#269 KennyP ONLINE  

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Posted September 09, 2012 - 10:47 AM

I printed that one out! Thanks!

#270 mjodrey OFFLINE  

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Posted September 10, 2012 - 04:07 AM

That is a good one.




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