Jump to content

Nominations for Tractor of the Month
Garden Tractors and Parts on eBay



Photo
* * * * * 2 votes

Official Joke Thread


  • Please log in to reply
2192 replies to this topic

#1966 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

WNYTractorTinkerer

    Tinker Master

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Member No: 10789
  • 8,317 Thanks
  • 4,665 posts
  • Location: Avon, NY

Posted June 21, 2016 - 07:36 AM

LOL on the FB..  

 

13427941_528274137373155_930227005915110112_n.jpg

 

 


  • oldedeeres and Greasy6020 have said thanks

#1967 Greasy6020 ONLINE  

Greasy6020
  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 78477
  • 670 Thanks
  • 655 posts
  • Location: supposedly frozen wastelands of ontario

Posted June 21, 2016 - 09:13 AM

Yesterday I spent most of the day cleaning up trees. Big thunderstorm, it was impressive

My buddy said "the wind must be dutch, it doesn't like trees either!"

#1968 LilysDad ONLINE  

LilysDad

    Cat Lover

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 10443
  • 9,679 Thanks
  • 7,692 posts
  • Location: N. Illinois, DeKalb County

Posted June 21, 2016 - 02:40 PM

Theater Seats for Seniors
An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,
"Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The old man didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient.
"Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.
The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success.
Finally they summoned the police.
The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"

"Fred," the old man moaned.

"Where ya from, Fred?" asked the police officer.
With a terrible grunt in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied...... "The balcony".

  • KennyP, CRFarnsworth, jpackard56 and 5 others have said thanks

#1969 LilysDad ONLINE  

LilysDad

    Cat Lover

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 10443
  • 9,679 Thanks
  • 7,692 posts
  • Location: N. Illinois, DeKalb County

Posted June 24, 2016 - 12:44 PM

funny-animals-611.jpg


  • MH81, CRFarnsworth, UncleWillie and 1 other said thanks

#1970 toomanytoys84 OFFLINE  

toomanytoys84

    Aaron

  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 45129
  • 8,243 Thanks
  • 5,082 posts
  • Location: Ohio

Posted June 24, 2016 - 02:05 PM

Yesterday I spent most of the day cleaning up trees. Big thunderstorm, it was impressive

My buddy said "the wind must be dutch, it doesn't like trees either!"

 

Can you explain this?


  • adamjd200 said thank you

#1971 LilysDad ONLINE  

LilysDad

    Cat Lover

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 10443
  • 9,679 Thanks
  • 7,692 posts
  • Location: N. Illinois, DeKalb County

Posted June 24, 2016 - 06:18 PM

1 senior turn.jpg


  • oldedeeres said thank you

#1972 adamjd200 OFFLINE  

adamjd200
  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 39654
  • 1,406 Thanks
  • 1,538 posts
  • Location: central Ny

Posted June 24, 2016 - 10:59 PM

Can you explain this?

I was wondering the same thing.



#1973 jpackard56 OFFLINE  

jpackard56

    Tractorholic

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 7225
  • 1,768 Thanks
  • 1,407 posts
  • Location: S.E. Ohio

Posted June 25, 2016 - 06:04 AM

Can you explain this?

 

 

I was wondering the same thing.

Is it referencing the Dutch Elm Disease ? That devastated trees some years back ?


  • MH81, oldedeeres, adamjd200 and 1 other said thanks

#1974 Greasy6020 ONLINE  

Greasy6020
  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 78477
  • 670 Thanks
  • 655 posts
  • Location: supposedly frozen wastelands of ontario

Posted June 25, 2016 - 11:09 PM

Can you explain this?


We had a bit of a nasty storm, I was helping my buddy (who is dutch) clean up fallen trees, he made the comment "the wind must be dutch, it doesn't like trees either".
  • toomanytoys84 said thank you

#1975 LilysDad ONLINE  

LilysDad

    Cat Lover

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 10443
  • 9,679 Thanks
  • 7,692 posts
  • Location: N. Illinois, DeKalb County

Posted June 27, 2016 - 06:23 AM

"Sayings"

- If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.

- I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.

- Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

- I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."

- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

- I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

- Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.

- Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?

- Take my advice — I'm not using it.

- I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.

- Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

- Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

- I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

- Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

- I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.

- Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

- If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

  • MH81, KennyP, shorty and 3 others have said thanks

#1976 toomanytoys84 OFFLINE  

toomanytoys84

    Aaron

  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 45129
  • 8,243 Thanks
  • 5,082 posts
  • Location: Ohio

Posted June 27, 2016 - 07:52 AM

We had a bit of a nasty storm, I was helping my buddy (who is dutch) clean up fallen trees, he made the comment "the wind must be dutch, it doesn't like trees either".

 

I was just looking way too deep into that...Went over my head.


  • Greasy6020 said thank you

#1977 toomanytoys84 OFFLINE  

toomanytoys84

    Aaron

  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 45129
  • 8,243 Thanks
  • 5,082 posts
  • Location: Ohio

Posted June 27, 2016 - 07:54 AM


This video had me laughing so hard Also at the end I was a little sad...

Edited by MH81, June 30, 2016 - 11:54 AM.


#1978 MH81 ONLINE  

MH81

    Proud to be Deplorable

  • Staff Admin
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 802
  • 27,319 Thanks
  • 28,636 posts
  • Location: N. W. PA

Posted June 27, 2016 - 09:04 AM


 
This video had me laughing so hard  Also at the end I was a little sad...

The video doesn't seem to want to play embedded.
Do you have a link to it? Maybe I can fix it.

#1979 MH81 ONLINE  

MH81

    Proud to be Deplorable

  • Staff Admin
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 802
  • 27,319 Thanks
  • 28,636 posts
  • Location: N. W. PA

Posted June 27, 2016 - 06:44 PM


  • KennyP, CRFarnsworth and Greasy6020 have said thanks

#1980 toomanytoys84 OFFLINE  

toomanytoys84

    Aaron

  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 45129
  • 8,243 Thanks
  • 5,082 posts
  • Location: Ohio

Posted June 28, 2016 - 08:26 AM

The video doesn't seem to want to play embedded.
Do you have a link to it? Maybe I can fix it.

Edited the original post with the link to the video.  I never had much luck using the youtube code...or I am doing it wrong!






Top