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Official Joke Thread


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#1831 Auburn David OFFLINE  

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Posted April 12, 2016 - 07:26 PM

Ron Chester, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Ron replied, "That would be my wife."


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#1832 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted April 14, 2016 - 06:07 AM

The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery
of California , to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the
$2-5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart
brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap
wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing.

She said: "But the right name is important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name
for the Wal-Mart brand.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations

And the number one name for Wal-Mart wine:

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white
meat (possum) or red meat (squirrel).


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#1833 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted April 14, 2016 - 06:35 PM

13015415_867109260101821_676254218485425


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#1834 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted April 14, 2016 - 08:42 PM

12998583_1157059867640626_6073442146478519378_n.jpg

 

13015353_586260778221520_6586261432018158138_n.jpg


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#1835 Greasy6020 OFFLINE  

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Posted April 15, 2016 - 09:25 AM

When you drink alone, you're an alcoholic.

When you drink with your brother, it's bonding.
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#1836 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted April 15, 2016 - 07:09 PM



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#1837 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted April 15, 2016 - 07:16 PM

Tahoe should be able to adapt this to his situation!


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#1838 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted April 16, 2016 - 01:37 PM

13012617_1073213896097820_7645080085273906003_n.jpg

 

12974356_1014614095241197_1423562475967609764_n.jpg



#1839 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted April 16, 2016 - 02:53 PM

Strange! I never did see a generator.


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#1840 toomanytoys84 ONLINE  

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Posted April 18, 2016 - 06:59 AM

Who is selling a generator?  I need one, I have looked all over in this thread for it and still don't see it.  Can someone point me in the right direction?


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#1841 TAHOE ONLINE  

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Posted April 18, 2016 - 11:03 AM

Tahoe should be able to adapt this to his situation!

 

yea, and I got the perfect place to shock them at too



#1842 oldedeeres ONLINE  

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Posted April 18, 2016 - 01:28 PM

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity"
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#1843 TAHOE ONLINE  

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Posted April 18, 2016 - 01:30 PM

".....for natural stupidity"

 

"natural selection" has been slacking here these days too!


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#1844 oldedeeres ONLINE  

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Posted April 19, 2016 - 12:43 PM

I find it ironic that the colours red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you.
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#1845 oldedeeres ONLINE  

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Posted April 20, 2016 - 11:46 AM

The officer pulled me over and said, "You drinking?"

I said,"Sure, you buying?"   We laughed and laughed.

 

I need bail money.


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