Official Joke Thread
Posted April 11, 2016 - 06:27 PM
- MH81, CRFarnsworth, jpackard56 and 5 others have said thanks
Posted April 11, 2016 - 07:14 PM
I won't type what my wife just said!
- oldedeeres, adamjd200 and Auburn David have said thanks
Posted April 11, 2016 - 09:35 PM
- MH81 and KennyP have said thanks
Posted April 12, 2016 - 06:55 AM
The next time anybody thinks about giving any lip to an Ohio State Trooper remember first, being tasered is part of their training process here. The military didn't even do that to us when I was in...David don't know if you were joking or not but your description is spot on, even so and as bad as it is I laughed till I cried when I read you post.
- MH81, oldedeeres and Auburn David have said thanks
Posted April 12, 2016 - 10:50 AM
A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other,and mumbling to himself.
"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant."
The boy thought for a moment... "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
- wvbuzzmaster, KennyP, HowardsMF155 and 8 others have said thanks
Posted April 12, 2016 - 11:54 AM
- MH81, OldBuzzard, Texas Deere and Horse and 8 others have said thanks
Posted April 12, 2016 - 07:26 PM
Ron Chester, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.
Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
Ron replied, "That would be my wife."
- MH81, Texas Deere and Horse, Bruce Dorsi and 10 others have said thanks
Posted April 14, 2016 - 06:07 AM
The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery
of California , to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart
brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap
wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing.
She said: "But the right name is important."
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name
for the Wal-Mart brand.
The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations
And the number one name for Wal-Mart wine:
1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white
meat (possum) or red meat (squirrel).
- MH81, Bruce Dorsi, KennyP and 2 others have said thanks
Posted April 14, 2016 - 08:42 PM
- Delmar and adamjd200 have said thanks
Posted April 15, 2016 - 09:25 AM
When you drink with your brother, it's bonding.
- WNYTractorTinkerer said thank you
Posted April 15, 2016 - 07:09 PM
- Sawdust and Auburn David have said thanks
Posted April 15, 2016 - 07:16 PM
Tahoe should be able to adapt this to his situation!
- UncleWillie and WNYTractorTinkerer have said thanks
Posted April 16, 2016 - 01:37 PM