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Official Joke Thread


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#1801 Marty'70 OFFLINE  

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Posted April 02, 2016 - 04:48 PM

Here's another must see for them ALSO

Hanahahahah
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#1802 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted April 03, 2016 - 06:02 PM

12938213_1065138926905317_168045039892790384_n.jpg


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#1803 toomanytoys84 ONLINE  

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Posted April 04, 2016 - 10:56 AM

Julia tells her husband "James that young couple that just moved in next door seem like such a loving couple!"

 

"Every morning when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes home, he brings her a dozen roses!!"

"Now, why can't you do that"

 

James looks at his wife and says "Well, honey I suppose I could but I hardly know the girl!"
 


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#1804 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted April 05, 2016 - 07:04 AM

She said "Ever since you retired you do nothing but sit around the house all day. You could at least do something useful, like maybe vacuum the house".

"Sure why not" he says, and heads to the laundry room for the machine. Half an hour later he's back in the kitchen getting some coffee, and says, "The **** thing is broken, it won't start. We need to buy a new one".

"Really?", she says, "It worked fine the last time I used it. Show me".

So he did.

https://videos.files....leaner_dvd.mp4

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#1805 CRFarnsworth OFFLINE  

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Posted April 05, 2016 - 07:32 AM

How did you get a video of me?



#1806 CRFarnsworth OFFLINE  

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Posted April 05, 2016 - 07:34 AM

Julia tells her husband "James that young couple that just moved in next door seem like such a loving couple!"

 

"Every morning when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes home, he brings her a dozen roses!!"

"Now, why can't you do that"

 

James looks at his wife and says "Well, honey I suppose I could but I hardly know the girl!"
 

 

Did he wake up in the hospital?


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#1807 toomanytoys84 ONLINE  

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Posted April 05, 2016 - 08:10 AM

Did he wake up in the hospital?

That may be the next story

#1808 petrj6 OFFLINE  

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Posted April 05, 2016 - 08:20 AM

In my experience if you are asked to do something you really don't want to you do it with fervor but you make am ass out of the whole thing!!!! They won't ask again, like doing the dishes. Break a few plates and her favorite cofee cup and you are of the hook forever
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#1809 oldedeeres OFFLINE  

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Posted April 05, 2016 - 01:29 PM

Or on it forever.  Do NOT break my favourite coffee mug!


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#1810 petrj6 OFFLINE  

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Posted April 05, 2016 - 03:19 PM

   either way she doesn't ask me to do the dishes anymore, I filled the laundry room with bubbles on time and now I don't have to do the laundry :-)


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#1811 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted April 05, 2016 - 06:48 PM

http://www.buzzfeed....you#.qm12RLe0yK


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#1812 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted April 07, 2016 - 04:45 PM

Third review down
Dinner with Andrea, I think it's titled
http://www.amazon.co...iews/B008JELLCA
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#1813 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted April 07, 2016 - 08:23 PM

Third review down
Dinner with Andrea, I think it's titled
http://www.amazon.co...iews/B008JELLCA

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

 


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#1814 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted April 07, 2016 - 08:57 PM

Third review down
Dinner with Andrea, I think it's titledhttp://www.amazon.co...iews/B008JELLCA

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.


My cheeks hurt (and not in the way the reviewers would say that)
Have you read the one about the harvest party and the Storm Trooper?
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#1815 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted April 07, 2016 - 09:01 PM

My cheeks hurt (and not in the way the reviewers would say that)
Have you read the one about the harvest party and the Storm Trooper?

Yes they are almost all hilarious. 






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