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Official Joke Thread


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#1606 adamjd200 OFFLINE  

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Posted February 04, 2016 - 11:14 PM

Click HERE

I get a little bit scared every time you post one of these.


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#1607 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted February 05, 2016 - 05:58 AM

I get a little bit scared every time you post one of these.

Chicken!  

 

A Mod usually comes in and decodes it for ya's as I don't have the access to make it happen..  Sorry..


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#1608 shorty ONLINE  

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Posted February 05, 2016 - 06:29 AM

Click HERE

One never knows what might pop up on your screen.

#1609 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted February 06, 2016 - 06:09 PM


 
Drunks and Turttles
A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground
rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator
at first refused to let him have a turn, considering that his inebriated
state would endanger the public. But the drunk insisted and was given a
gun.

He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and after
trying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth owner, on
inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he had scored three
bull's-eyes. The star prize for the evening was a large set of
glassware, but the showman was certain that the drunk wasn't aware of
what he had done, and gave him instead a consolation prize, a small,
live turtle. The drunk wandered off into the crowd.

An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than before. Once
again the showman demurred, but once again the drunk insisted, and once
more scored three bull's-eyes and was given another turtle.

Eventually the drunk rolled up again and insisted on a third attempt.
Once more he picked up the rifle, waved it around in the general
direction of the target, and pulled the trigger three times. Once more
he had scored threebull's-eyes . But this time there was an onlooker
with good eyesight.

"That's fantastic", the man said. "Hasn't he scored three bulls?"

The showman, cursing his luck, made a show of going over to the target
and inspecting it closely.

"Yes, sir!" he announced to the crowd. "This is fantastic!
Congratulations, sir, you have won the star prize, this magnificent
68-piece set of glassware!"

"I don't want any bloody glasses", the drunk replied. "Give me another
one of those little crusty meat pies!

Edited by LilysDad, February 06, 2016 - 06:10 PM.

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#1610 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted February 06, 2016 - 07:20 PM

Always funny when Scott & his buddies come around..  


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#1611 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted February 06, 2016 - 08:09 PM

12644850_10153907554088464_2021251702893030145_n.jpg

 

12670205_10157147140765377_4856949346222110130_n.jpg


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#1612 HANKG OFFLINE  

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Posted February 06, 2016 - 10:07 PM

AFTER HAVING II CHILDREN AN ALABAMIAN COUPLE DECIDED HE AND HIS COUZIN, DIDN'T WANT ANYMORE.

SO THE HUSBAND WENT TO THE VETERINARIAN AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION AND THE DOCTOR TOLD HIM HE COULD HAVE A VASECTOMY BUT IT WAS EXPENSIVE.


AND TOLD HIM OF A MUCH CHEAPER ALTERNATIVE, GO HOME AND GET A CHERRY BOMB LIGHT IT PUT IT IN A EMPTY BEE

R CAN AND HOLD IT NEXT TO YOUR EAR AND COUNT TO TEN. THE ALABAMIEN SAID TO THE DOCTOR I'M NOT THE SHARP

EST TOOL IN THE SHED BUT I DON'T SEE HOW THAT CAN WORK. TRUST ME THE DOC SAYS, SO HE WENT HOME PUT THE CHERRY BOMB IN THE CAN HELD IT TO HIS EAR AND COUNTED ON ONE HAND 1 2 3 4 5 PUT THE CAN BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND COUNTED WITH HIS OTHER HAND 1 2 3 4 5 IT IS SAID TO HAVE WORKED in Ark. Ky. Miss. and parts of Ga.

Edited by HANKG, February 06, 2016 - 10:10 PM.

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#1613 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted February 08, 2016 - 01:01 AM

Dunham's Super Bowl prediction...


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#1614 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted February 08, 2016 - 01:39 AM

12688118_951197075000953_5512235304206721007_n.jpg

 

12688109_1021911311228079_8636367227508764904_n.jpg

 

12417662_1006988862707581_431506594424275817_n.jpg

 

12524090_1006402136099587_7363612478425004063_n.jpg


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#1615 greenb69 OFFLINE  

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Posted February 08, 2016 - 07:10 AM

Marriage can be like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need are a couple of hearts and a diamond. Sometimes by the end you wish for a club and a spade.

My wife was a line officer in the Marines and she taught self defense and small weapons. I was a demolitions expert in the Green Berets . After we got married we sat down and discussed our future. we decided to take an idea from the cold war, mutually assured distruction. We decided that fighting would not be in our best interest. 18 years of marriage and we have not fought to this day. True story.
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#1616 JimD OFFLINE  

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Posted February 08, 2016 - 12:00 PM

70a213d42041b171b61104b83e88a292.gif


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#1617 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted February 08, 2016 - 03:27 PM

fC3rYoH.png


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#1618 Buddy ONLINE  

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Posted February 08, 2016 - 04:22 PM

Joke


Gooden ! :D
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#1619 pick-to-stone ONLINE  

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Posted February 08, 2016 - 04:56 PM

joke

lol when we catch people down in our pond we drag a buckit down with us and say we came to feed the snappin' turtles

Edited by pick-to-stone, February 08, 2016 - 05:40 PM.


#1620 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted February 08, 2016 - 07:25 PM

I think I would put up a sign warning about the leaches!






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