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Posted December 19, 2015 - 08:15 AM
Hey, he still got screwed!
Posted December 19, 2015 - 07:55 PM
What do people in Iowa use when they run out of toilet paper? A Husker !
Posted December 24, 2015 - 09:28 AM
A man was vacationing in Barcelona, Spain, really taking in the local culture. That takes time. One day he heard about a restaurant nearby the bull fighting ring that was apparently a secret haunt of well connected locals.
As he'd been in town for a while, and also because he just happened to know a guy, he managed to get a reservation.
The small charming eatery hung heavy with the trophies of years, souvenirs of many different sporting events, not just bull fights. It was dimly lit and the patrons boisterous. As he looked over the menu he noticed the men at the nearby table as they praised their meal, some kind of soup, and so when the waiter appeared he asked for what they were having.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Sir," the man said in Spanish, "but we do not have any more of that dish tonight."
"Why not?" the man asked, also in Spanish.
"Sir, those are are a house specialty, testicles fresh from the day's bull fight. That's why we only have so much on any given day ... but, sir, if you will come back tomorrow, after your meal today of course, we will make sure that you can have a serving."
The man thought about it and accepted the offer. His dinner was delicious which only made him look forward to the next day all the more.
The next day he was prompt. As part of the meal he was told about how this meal is considered an honor by those in the know. Afterwards the waiter asked what he thought of the dish.
"It was very interesting and good. But there's one thing I've been wondering at: the portions I saw yesterday seemed much larger than mine."
The waiter nodded: "Sometimes the bull wins, there's just no getting around it."
Posted December 27, 2015 - 11:36 AM
An old guy was working out at the gym when he spotted a young hot
girl walking in.
He asked the trainer standing next to him,
"What machine should I use to impress that girl over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said;
"I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."
Posted December 29, 2015 - 11:49 AM
Posted December 29, 2015 - 12:17 PM
Posted December 29, 2015 - 02:07 PM
That guy makes some good videos..I have watched a few of them,Always a good laugh!
Posted December 30, 2015 - 07:59 AM
Posted December 31, 2015 - 01:32 AM
Posted December 31, 2015 - 07:34 AM
IF YOU MARRY A CANADIAN GIRL
The first man married a woman from England . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Spain He gave his wife orders
that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first
day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By
the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and
there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Canada. He ordered her to keep the
house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything again, but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
He still has some difficulty when he pees.
Posted December 31, 2015 - 07:42 AM
Posted December 31, 2015 - 10:59 AM