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Redneck Hippy Cheeseburgers


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#1 Reverend Blair OFFLINE  

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Posted January 05, 2011 - 10:32 PM

1. Go pick out a young steer and name it. I name all of mine Cheeseburger, but you can name them Daisy or Johnny Rotten or whatever. They really don't care what their name is, but you need some way of identifying them.

Also, you'll see ads about Angus meat and how it's better, but once you rip the skin off all beef is the same. Angus, Hereford, Holstein...doesn't matter. It's meat. Meat is good.

2. Have the steer killed and cut up into meat. If you have the facilities you can do this yourself, but most of us have to depend on others for this step. The farmer I buy my yearly Cheeseburger from has a butcher he uses. I'm sure you can manage the same kind of deal if you look around.

Odd thing...my friend the farmer and his friend the butcher make more money from guys like me than they could at some corporate cow-killer, but I pay less. The cattle are treated better. The money goes into the local economy instead of paying slave wages to immigrants in Alberta. Tyson and Cargill can kiss my hairy nether regions.

3. Okay, so now you have some raw hamburger. Stop right there. A cheeseburger is far more than some ground up beef. First you need a bun. I recommend homemade whole wheat bread. I cheat a bit here and use ingredients that work in my bread maker. It's whole bread sliced up though. No cardboardy supermarket buns.

4. Back to the meat. Toss in one large egg per pound of meat (yeah, I get my eggs from the same farmer), dice up one small onion, and crush in one small garlic clove per pound of meat. Some black pepper is good, that Jamaican lemon pepper is even better. Don't get carried away though. Mix in a little BBQ sauce (I use some stuff a friend makes, but Bullseye seems to be a reasonable alternative). Add oatmeal until it firms up. Form into patties.

5. Cook on a low to medium heat. A charcoal grill is best, and a gas grill second best, but frying works too.

It needs attention. The BBQ sauce you put in there is full of sugar. Let it blacken, but don't let it burn. Count on flipping these burgers at least four times.

6. These are cheeseburgers. They require cheese. Slice some up. Make the slices fine. Make layers of cheese on top of the burger. I like sharp cheddar, but you might like something else. Experiment a bit an find the right cheese for you. Put it on your burger. Cover it and let the cheese melt.

7. Meat is good, cheese is important, but a burger needs some garnish. Make some stuff available. Tomatoes, lettuce, red onions...whatever you want. No ketchup though. Ketchup is great on fries, but it hides the taste of a good burger.

8. Serve it with a darkish beer. It doesn't have to be Guinness, but it shouldn't be a pale ale or a light lager either. I like the red beers with beef, but others prefer a true dark ale. Check out your local microbrewery for suggestions. There is never any excuse for serving those big national brands though, no matter what nation you live in.

And that's it. The perfect cheeseburger.
  • Bolens 1000, mjodrey, FirefyterEmt and 4 others have said thanks

#2 coldone OFFLINE  

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Posted January 05, 2011 - 10:40 PM

Rev,
Regional food differences is one of the things that I find amazing. A cheeseburger to you is one thing while it is something else to me. Its the same with hotdogs, chillie, BBQ. Each item is basically the same but the prep and garnishment is different.

A cheese burger to me starts with ground chuck that is grilled over charcoal. The garnishment is usually, Mayo, mustard, slaw, and chillie. Just as with steak, if the meat is good all you need for seasoning is salt and pepper.

#3 MH81 OFFLINE  

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Posted January 05, 2011 - 10:41 PM

One year I had a steer nick-named "Mmmm"

My Girlfriend at the time thought that was a little morbid.

I explained that the McD's she ate last week came (at least in part?) from a cow/steer/bull/? and that all I was doing was being honest with the big fella.

#4 FirefyterEmt OFFLINE  

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Posted January 05, 2011 - 10:55 PM

That was wonderful! I still stand firm that if the good Lord did not want us to eat them, he sure would not of made them just so tasty!

#5 Reverend Blair OFFLINE  

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Posted January 05, 2011 - 10:56 PM

Rev,
Regional food differences is one of the things that I find amazing. A cheeseburger to you is one thing while it is something else to me. Its the same with hotdogs, chillie, BBQ. Each item is basically the same but the prep and garnishment is different.

A cheese burger to me starts with ground chuck that is grilled over charcoal. The garnishment is usually, Mayo, mustard, slaw, and chillie. Just as with steak, if the meat is good all you need for seasoning is salt and pepper.


I had a slaw-burger in Plentywood, Montana one time (right around the time the Kentucky Headhunters had a hit with Dumas Walker's, actually, which is what inspired me to order it), and I would love to know how that was made. It was fantastic and the slaw wasn't runny and didn't over-power the meat. I've never run across such a thing in Canada.

I agree that grilling over charcoal is best, but most of us use gas grills for convenience and this time of year I use a frying pan because it's cold out. I don't mind getting a little chilly, but it has to be a pretty special meal before I'm standing outside for long enough for my beer to freeze.

#6 Reverend Blair OFFLINE  

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Posted January 05, 2011 - 11:05 PM

Yeah, I grew up naming calves because my grandfather had a dairy. I was likely five or six before I figured out that the girls were valuable and the boys were just meat. We always knew exactly who we were eating, at any rate. This used to freak Mrs. Rev out a lot, and she still refuses to come with me to pick out and name my steer, but she did come to deer sausage making day last year. Give me another 20 years, and I'll have her slaughtering goats in the back yard.

#7 Reverend Blair OFFLINE  

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Posted January 05, 2011 - 11:10 PM

That was wonderful! I still stand firm that if the good Lord did not want us to eat them, he sure would not of made them just so tasty!


As my friend says, "If we weren't supposed to eat them, they'd taste like cauliflower."

#8 Bolens 1000 OFFLINE  

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Posted January 06, 2011 - 05:54 AM

I know its only 5:53 Am here but after reading this you guys are making me really hungry for a good Cheese Burger!

#9 caseguy OFFLINE  

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Posted January 06, 2011 - 05:43 PM

Thanks Rev! Always looking for good ideas for dinner! I'll bet my kids would even like that!

#10 olcowhand OFFLINE  

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Posted January 06, 2011 - 06:39 PM

A couple years ago we kept 2 bull calves to steer & raise for beef. One was to be sold to cover the processing costs on the one we kept to eat. My wife named one "Burgers", and the other one "Fries". When it came time to sell the one, we had to choose. Well, turns out we never noticed, but "Burgers" had a near perfect check mark on it's side, just like the beef "checkoff" trademark.
beefcheckoff-logorgb.jpg

So "Burgers" surely was meant to go to market, being he had the beef checkoff mark on him. So off he went & I took "Fries" to my processor who luckily lives just 4 miles from me. We made the right choice. "Fries" is the very best tasting beef I have ever eaten....hands down! We grain fed both of them, and man did it pay off!
They say never to name your food, but who cares....I'm gonna eat it regardless! :D




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