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Anyone Dealt With Spouse With Panic Attacks/anxiety?


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#16 daytime dave OFFLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 09:41 AM

Good luck Tahoe.  I don't know much about your wife's particular issue.  I knew a person who had panic disorder and took Xanax like candy.  Usually, he was mellow as fine wine after enough of them.  He seemed barely able to function.  

 

Take heart though.  Look at all the responses.  Everyone trying to give you advice and help.  Sharing with others who have similar issues is very helpful.  I took a different approach many years ago.  I had a wife with severe mental issues and physical addictions.  I kept it quiet and ended up cutting my losses.  I had two small children.  I divorced her and raised the kids.   Best thing that I should have done sooner.

 

I hope you get some relief soon.  Meds and counselling sound like they will help you and her.  Raise her self esteem any way you can, even if it means checking your tongue at the door.  Use your sarcasm for the boys.  That square breathing sounds interesting, breathing properly and deliberately helps in many situations.  Good luck.


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#17 TAHOE ONLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 10:15 AM

Just a Great Thanks  :big_hug:  to all have replied, even those that want to throw me under the tractor :thumbs:

 

I guess I should've have explained the sarcasm remark, my wife, teenagers, and myself interact this way, a lot of sarcasm and joking bertween us, we are hardly ever serious. Enginerod pretty much hit the nail on the head with his response of how we interact. It's hard to switch gears when that's the way you always do it. I'm not caulous enough to deal with this in that way, I know better, just hard to do.

 

My wife knows what is going on, but just trying to find that control. I think she panics as much for not being "normal" as she puts it, as worrying about other things. Her symptoms are pretty much what Canawler explained, she feels it coming, but can't control it. This last one, she woke up and her BP was 170/110 which made her anxiety worse which lead to another ER trip.

She starting taking the lexapro 6 or 7 yrs ago and it worked fine, but felt she didn't need it any longer cause her hormones are now regulated through a patch since she had the hysto. The ER doc told her it should be easier to do now since there is not that hormone swing and meds should work better.

Having been told by him also that it takes 4-6 weeks to actually not feel the effects of the drug anymore I think helped her too, he really helped her understand what to expect.

I just talked to her, she had taken a sleep med last night, she actually slept for about 5 hours straight, but still woke up with a small attack, then got back to sleep for a few hrs before my alarm went off. At least she got some sleep, first time in 3 days.  She said this morning she is trying to "shake out the cobwebs" feeling she is having.  She up the mg of her meds plus took the sleep med so she feels that is cause. As I said, knowing the reactions to these meds will be better medicine than the medicine I think.

She has contacted a couple threapist, but all have like a 3 week minimum before they can get her in.

 

Twostep, I agree, that's how I work out my frustrations, worries, etc...head outside to get something accomplished. I keep mentioning the "housework" word to her, but just not gettting through  :bigrofl: . Seriously, no I didn't, but it might work :thumbs:  :D .

It's also hard for someone who is mostly sedentary, her most exercise is walking from the car into work and back. She reads a lot and plays on the computer.

She did say she wanted me to make sure treadmill was working and she may try some stuff we have on the Wii to become a little more active, I usggested the yoga videos she bought a while back but hasn't watched. Plus she knows she needs to lose a bunch of weight, could be a positive in both aspects. She was doing good early summer when she was going to gym 3 days a week, it really helped her, she has mentioned going back soon.

 

 

Thanks for all comments, criticisms, and just providing a place to vent.

:thank_you:


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#18 twostep OFFLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 11:17 AM

I know that job stress and panic attacks are completely different but... My last job was stupid stressful. I normally handle stress pretty decent but my boss at the time just really knew how to push my buttons. Anyway at least every other day when I would get home I would go jogging. When I started I couldn't run for 5 minutes without thinking I was going to have a heart attack but then I would just walk the rest of the mile. Before too long I was running 3 miles in 27 minutes and walking another one. It was still hard so I pushed myself... hard. But it made me so physically tired that I couldn't think about the worries.

 

I actually miss running now.


Edited by twostep, November 27, 2013 - 12:33 PM.

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#19 HDWildBill ONLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 02:09 PM

Just a suggestion, but what about the two of you going for a walk together?


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#20 TAHOE ONLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 02:29 PM

Just a suggestion, but what about the two of you going for a walk together?

 

 

It's 25* outside...I think not. Going to the mall or public area would make me have anxiety  :rolling:

 

Good idea though, thanks.

 

I suggest one form of "exercise" that's good for your health and relaxes ya :D , but she says she has to be in the correct mental state :wallbanging:


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#21 HDWildBill ONLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 03:04 PM

I suggest one form of "exercise" that's good for your health and relaxes ya :D , but she says she has to be in the correct mental state :wallbanging:

 

They all say that! :bigrofl:


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#22 robert_p43 OFFLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 04:16 PM

Well, that's better than telling her to clean the house.  I have to admit, when I read that yesterday, I about fell outta my chair. Then I thought about how she must feel.  If I said that to my wife, she would clean house, starting with me and my things. LOL

As far as the new sugestion, well yeah, she wants to enjoy it too. :thumbs:

There does need to be some kind of balance but I wouldn't sugest to my wife to do like the wife in this pic either.

zbalance.jpg


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#23 WNYTractorTinkerer ONLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 04:35 PM

It's 25* outside...I think not. Going to the mall or public area would make me have anxiety  :rolling:

 

Good idea though, thanks.

 

I suggest one form of "exercise" that's good for your health and relaxes ya :D , but she says she has to be in the correct mental state :wallbanging:

Like she is when you aren't around?   Be afraid, be very afraid!!  :biting_nails:

 

Buy her a couple boxes of that wine she likes to relax her..   :ok:


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#24 oldtimer OFFLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 04:46 PM

I just saw this. Tahoe, all I can say is I wish you and your wife the best. Life throws fast balls all the time; maybe a bunt instead of swingin' for a home run could work., as others have said. I can understand your frustration and can see you thinking like the hungry vulture, but I'm sure you check yourself. I sincerely hope that you and your wife can work through this In fact, I'm pretty sure that you will.  Take care and God bless.

 

PS

     In case some don't know....The hungry vulture looks at his friend and says    " PATIENCE MY #SS  ! i'M GONNA KILL SOMETHING !! "


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#25 TAHOE ONLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 07:15 PM

Funny the wine comment came up, my sister keeps telling her to have a glass every night. :D


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#26 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted November 27, 2013 - 07:53 PM

Tahoe, when she gets hard to be around, remember your supposed to be outside working on a tractor. :thumbs:


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#27 TAHOE ONLINE  

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Posted November 28, 2013 - 10:11 AM

Tahoe, when she gets hard to be around, remember your supposed to be outside working on a tractor. :thumbs:

 

She asked me if I can put up with her until she gets though this and back to normal. I told her this will make me get a lot of my garage projects done, she just laughed. :thumbs:


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#28 olcowhand ONLINE  

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Posted November 28, 2013 - 10:19 AM

Marty, I sure hope she has a good day for Thanksgiving!  :thumbs:


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#29 HDWildBill ONLINE  

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Posted November 28, 2013 - 05:33 PM

Tahoe, Our daughter I mentioned in my previous post is visiting this weekend and I told her about your post.  She suggested that you wife look into breathingworks.  From what she said it sounds kind of like the square breathing Canawler mentioned but she said you go to classes.  She also suggest that you find a student who is holding classes because they are cheaper. 

 

I told her what I had posted and she said she went through 17 therapist before she found one that could actually help her and those were just the ones she could remember.  Sure hope you all find something that will help.


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#30 Sawdust OFFLINE  

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Posted November 29, 2013 - 05:28 PM

Just got on the tail end of your post Mary, sorry to hear this. It is treatable & you have gotten some good advice. She needs you to understand her even if sometimes you don't act like it...we all do that every now & then right  :D  I had a pastor friend & his wife had these anxiety attacks. They are very difficult to understand but just being there for her will mean a lot. You vent anytime you need to we will listen & I thought about you & yours over the holiday, did you have a good one? We all as usual will keep praying for you & your family & will continue to look for improvements. Don't do the wine thing...don't want her to be an alcoholic. :(


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