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Any other foster parents here?


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#1 FirefyterEmt OFFLINE  

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Posted December 15, 2010 - 09:35 PM

Just curious, does anyone else here foster? My wife and I have been doing it for a year now and we have had five placements in that time. We do young children from birth to 4 and our oldest has been 2 so far, the youngest was 2 days old and brought from the Hospital. It has been very rewarding for the most part and we enjoy it. Right now we have the best little 8 month old boy who has been here since late September. My wife and I have four of our own children on top of this, so moving the family around all at once can be fun! :blush2:

Anyway, I was just curious if anyone else here were foster parents too.

#2 caseguy OFFLINE  

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Posted December 15, 2010 - 09:46 PM

My wife and I fostered our youngest before we adopted him. He's 5 now, gonna' be 6 in Jan. We got him at 9 months old and fostered him until a year and a half ago. He is actually family though. He was my cousins' son. We thought about fostering others, but after seeing the courts in action, we decided that neither of us has the stomach for that much heartache. My wife works as a social services advisor for Head Start and has to deal with the aftermath of what broken families do to the children involved. She comes home often in tears and I know that it's hard on her emotionally. We have 3 other children as well ranging from 10 to 17. I admire those of you who can tolerate the system and help the children out of their situations, even if only temporarily. God bless you and yours in all your endeavors!

#3 FirefyterEmt OFFLINE  

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Posted December 15, 2010 - 09:55 PM

Yea it can be a bit hard at times... You learn to roll with the swings too. For example, we have learned that starting month two is where most of the parents decide that everything we do is wrong and try to bring up every tiny thing to show that we are the worst caregivers out there. Give it a month, and that kind of slows down and they start to realize it does not work and is making them look bad. The thing that amazes me, is how great some of these babies have been! I mean, the little guy we have now came to us at about 6 months old and was really happy, sleeping through the night, etc.... In all, a super easy baby to care for. I can't go into details, but how this child could be hard to care for is beyond me.
We have not been in the situation of "could we adopt" yet so I don't know what we would do in that case. The guy we have now could slip into out family like a glove. However, we are not really looking to adopt, just help out. Plus... I like the baby's and enjoy very much that special time when they have fallen asleep after a bottle for the night. I have been known to hold them well after they have fallen asleep for the night. :smilewink:
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#4 dryrun OFFLINE  

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Posted December 15, 2010 - 11:04 PM

GOD BLESS ALL WHO WOULD TAKE IN A CHILD IN NEED. I think there is a special place in heaven for you folks.

Best regards George.

#5 nra1ifer OFFLINE  

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Posted December 15, 2010 - 11:45 PM

Good luck, and God bless!

#6 mastifflawyer OFFLINE  

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Posted December 16, 2010 - 06:40 AM

I would just like to say that Foster Parents are the GREATEST people in the world. I have been dealing with neglected and abused children for 33 years. I currently am in a position where I make decisions regarding their wellbeing on a daily basis. These children do not choose to be where they are, but I can tell you that I have had plenty of them ask me to keep them with their Foster Parents. I have had kids tell me that it was the first time that they had ever sat down with the family for a meal; first time they had been to a sit down restaurant; first time they ordered from a menu; first time they had someone read to them; first time they have slept in a bed with sheets; and on and on.
Many people believe that Foster Parents do it for the money. Let me assure you that there is no money in that line of work. The amount they receive doesn't come close to what it takes to care for the child.
Foster Parents do it for the love of the child, and because of that I truely believe that they are the Greatest People in the world.

Edited by mastifflawyer, December 17, 2010 - 05:24 AM.


#7 tractormike OFFLINE  

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Posted December 16, 2010 - 07:03 AM

First off I want to thank you for being a foster parent:thumbs::yelclap:. Having newborns and then having to give them back has got to be real hard to do. Thank you for being there for the kids!
My wife and I were foster parents for 13 years. We started as county foster parents and after a year and a half became treatment foster parents. As a treatment foster home you get kids that may be coming out of an institution, have special needs, are older, or have been in a fair amount of trouble. Over the time we fostered we had 35 kids and ended up adopting 2 of them. Most of the kids that we fostered were ages 8 or older and we had mostly boys.
I would have " garage days " with the kids were we would build things like picnic tables, or maybe they needed a bike and we would fix one up for them. I would buy each kid his own toolbox and stock it with the basics, hammer, tape measure, screwdrivers, a small wrench set, etc. The tools had to stay down in the garage but when the child left they were his to keep. They would have great fun taking old lawn tractors, and what ever else I could find apart!
Once again congrats on taking the time to be foster parents. I think it comes under the title of " the toughest job you will ever love"

#8 FirefyterEmt OFFLINE  

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Posted December 16, 2010 - 09:00 PM

I would just like to say that Foster Parents are the GREATEST people in the world. I have been dealing with neglected and abused children for 33 years. I currently am in a position where I make decisions regarding their wellbeing on a daily basis. These children do not choose to be where they are, but I can tell you that I have had plenty of them ask me to keep them with their Foster Parents. I have had kids tell me that it was the first time that they had ever sat down with the family for a meal; first time they had been to a sit down restaurant; first time they ordered from a menu; first time they had someone read to them; first time someone refered to them by their name instead of sh*thead; first time they have slept in a bed with sheets; and on and on.
Many people believe that Foster Parents do it for the money. Let me assure you that there is no money in that line of work. The amount they receive doesn't come close to what it takes to care for the child.
Foster Parents do it for the love of the child, and because of that I truly believe that they are the Greatest People in the world.


This is someone who has seen the system for sure! We do not foster the older children, but had a couple at church that did and like you said, the lack of things we just take for granted can stun you. To give a little insight as to why we do what we do, I have to go back a little. First, I am 37 and have been married for 19 years, Yes, given the math, my wife and I are high-school sweethearts that met softmore year. We have 4 children of our own from 15-7 (three boys and the youngest is a girl... yes, I was stubborn... I wanted a daughter! LOL) That said, my wife herself was in foster-care early on and did stay with her mom, but there was a lot along the way. My wife pulled on me for years about wanting to be a foster parent herself (granted, strange for someone who was taken from her mom) For years I was dead set against it... in one of her "discussions" pleading with me, I held to my defense.... My word, we have FOUR kids and not enough room as it is! (Brilliant on my part, it made all the sence in the world) Right up to the time she showed me the reality of how poor of an excuse that would be to a child that did not know what "meal-time" was, or a warm bed to sleep in... and those were the lucky ones! What about the child getting abused, beat, injured.... could you tell them that you don't have enough room, why you would have to share a room with someone! Yea... kinda humbling for sure. Later that year we were taking the classes that will open you to a world that even I, who has worked as an EMT, did not really know was out there. The classes brought out what the "system" deals with daily.... and the first day they told us half the class would not be there at the end. They were right... Stuff that I will not even mention here because you really do not want to know.

Sorry, that kinda went on for a while, but I thought I would put a little insight into why we do what we do. Mastifflawyer hit the nail on the head, there is a LOT of hassle at times and it's not about the money for sure! BUT, you can make a diffrence and sometimes it can last a lifetime. I hope to foster older kids when some of our's have moved out to start thier own lives if we are still sane by then!

Tractormike, that is awesome! People forget how small things can teach so much in life... I am always making my kids help me and showing them the how and why of what we are doing. I just got finished fixing our furnace. I hate working on them, but hate paying huge bills to someone to do cheap and easy stuff even more! Last night the furnace died and would not re-fire, I was a bit mad at myself because I keep things like filters and nozzles on hand. Too bad it was the old used nozzle! I had my oldest helping me and he got to see how to do a simple oil burner nozzzle swap and to replace a filter. Simple enough stuff, but the furnace would not run without it and it only cost me $15 to fix it and an hour or so of time. With parts on hand, that can be a very cold night or the ability to get his own heat without missing something like the electric bill to pay for it!

Plus, you took in the special needs... God Bless you for that! Our case worked wants us to do that, but to be honest.... we are spread a bit thin for that. Granted, some are not really all that much more work, it all depends on what you can work with.

Well, this is getting a bit long, but it's nice talking to people who understand.

#9 caseguy OFFLINE  

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Posted December 16, 2010 - 09:28 PM

Jack, I meant no disrespect to you or your profession when I was knocking the "system". I believe that a lot of the problems that we faced stemmed from the social services side of things...Caseworkers that are hopelessly overworked / desperately underpaid, Others who want to be everyones friend (want to make omelettes without breaking any eggs at all) and who do not give ALL the pertinent facts to the authorities. And then there are the laws that your side are constrained to work within...I do not envy your situation at all and I applaud you for the work that you do!
Our youngest, the one we adopted, came to us as a special needs child. He was born addicted to coke and his first 9 months saw a lot of neglect. There wasn't ant physical abuse because he had an older sibling that made sure he was "safe" in that regard. He has many issues that we deal with daily, but he has come a long way. I cannot imagine my life without him in it.
Like you mentioned above FirefyterEmt, I too was the nay sayer. I had my "plumbing" altered after the third child was born...because I didn't want 4 LOL! My wife made me see the light though. I have no regrets. -Steve

#10 FirefyterEmt OFFLINE  

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Posted December 16, 2010 - 11:31 PM

You know, I forgot to mention... our very first placement was a "drug baby" He came to us at 2 days old and was our very first placement. (Talk about trial by fire... our youngest was 6 at that time, quite a ways out from our baby-hood days) His mom was on Methadone and he started withdrawal symptoms after a week and had to be placed in the ER on a de-tox program with morphine. He was in there for a month and placed with a pre-adoptive family from there. But what a week! That has the be the worst thing a child can go through...




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