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Olcowhands Daddy Surgery Has Begun.


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#556 olcowhand ONLINE  

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Posted February 19, 2014 - 12:07 PM

Dad has already back-peddled somewhat, but we forge ahead just the same.  Mom has been complaining about her neck the most, but her Dr pays no attention. So Teresa called the nursing home to see about outpatient rehab for mom, and all we have to do is get her family Dr to write an order for it.  That will be done asap.  If we make mom feel better, then maybe she'll treat Dad better.  She needs the rehab for her neck regardless.  I hauled in a load of #3 rock in & Teresa had taken the initiative for the rehab on her own.  I love my Wife!


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#557 olcowhand ONLINE  

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Posted February 19, 2014 - 04:14 PM

Mom has a Dr appointment in the morning.  Mom called Teresa today, so she told mom about the upcoming rehab.  I believe this will help her calm down a bit, as she's been feeling jealous of dad getting attention.  We will still all be going out to talk with her tonight to get her to understand we want them both healthy & happy.  2 hours till that time.  I don't dread it as bad as before.  Maybe it will go better than I originally anticipated.


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#558 DougT ONLINE  

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Posted February 19, 2014 - 04:31 PM

Maybe the happy pill could be for the pain in the neck. She just wouldn't know which pain. Hoping for the best!


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#559 HDWildBill ONLINE  

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Posted February 19, 2014 - 04:58 PM

Usually the things I dread most turn out to the the most painless.


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#560 olcowhand ONLINE  

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Posted February 19, 2014 - 05:46 PM

Oh, I forgot to tell you guys.....Dad does NOT have any ulcers, which may or may not be good, as he's been losing blood somewhere.  Now I worry his surgery never healed right.  They are doing the colonoscopy tomorrow.   The bladder removal required removing a piece of intestine, so there could be a problem there.  Know more tomorrow hopefully.


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#561 olcowhand ONLINE  

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Posted February 19, 2014 - 08:47 PM

Well, we may as well beat our heads against a brick wall as I was afraid of.  It's all about her in mom's mind, and all the faults are in Dad.  She even mocked Dad's breathing as when he's short of breath.  I am .......well, I can't even express it.  


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#562 HowardsMF155 OFFLINE  

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Posted February 19, 2014 - 09:24 PM

Well, we may as well beat our heads against a brick wall as I was afraid of.  It's all about her in mom's mind, and all the faults are in Dad.  She even mocked Dad's breathing as when he's short of breath.  I am .......well, I can't even express it.  

Daniel, words cannot express how sorry I am.  I know things were hard enough in our family with everyone pulling together to try to help, it must be a nightmare with this going on.


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#563 toomanytoys84 ONLINE  

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Posted February 19, 2014 - 09:25 PM

Im sorry you are having to deal with this. I wish there was some way we could help you besides listening.
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#564 coldone OFFLINE  

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Posted February 19, 2014 - 09:55 PM

Dan, Your family is in all our prayers. Have faith and stay strong.


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#565 KennyP ONLINE  

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Posted February 20, 2014 - 06:25 AM

Im sorry you are having to deal with this. I wish there was some way we could help you besides listening.

My feelings too. Not a good situation to be in at all!


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#566 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted February 20, 2014 - 07:43 AM

Sorry Daniel. I don't know what to say beyond that.
You guys tried, maybe the light of a new day will help her understand.
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#567 David Brown OFFLINE  

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Posted February 20, 2014 - 07:57 AM

Wow, I don't even know what to say.  It's certainly not a situation that would make one want to get better.  It was hard to get through to my father-in-law too but it was nothing like this.  I really feel for you man.  like Toomanytoys stated, I only wish there was something else we could do for you.  Unload anytime.  At least we can listen.


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#568 olcowhand ONLINE  

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Posted February 20, 2014 - 09:11 AM

My brother stopped by to see Dad after his 3rd shift was over near the hospital.  He told Dad how last night didn't go well.  Then Dad called me, and thanked us for trying.  I cracked, as that was SUCH a load off my mind, as I was so worried he would be upset.  I am still of course very upset, but knowing he is glad we did what we did is such a HUGE weight off me.  Cleaning up from milking, then going to see Dad, then going to eye doc to get this cyst removed from my eyelid.  Oh, and Dad knows he can't live with mom, so we'll do whatever we have to, but in the meantime, when discharged he'll likely go stay at my sister Connie's.  This isn't over, but we passed another hump.


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#569 HDWildBill ONLINE  

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Posted February 20, 2014 - 09:52 AM

At least all the cards have been laid out on the table so everyone knows where they stand.  I have a feeling though that when you Dad is released and he goes an stays with your sister, your mom isn't going to like it because he is still getting all the attention.  Same thing if you get the trailer.  We'll be thinking of you.

 

I hope your doc's appointment goes well and it comes out like you hope. 


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#570 TAHOE OFFLINE  

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Posted February 20, 2014 - 09:58 AM

Man Daniel, hate to hear it didn't go well with your mom, but I can hear you didn't expect much. At least you and sister have a plan and your dad is on board.

I was going to agree with some others your mom might be getting dementia or Alzheimers or the like, but I don't think that is the case. We dealt with my dad as he got older, he was always a worrier and had some paranoia. As he got older especially the year before he died, he was horrible with it. While doing my bathroom renovation, I found out why the scounce lights/plugs had quit working....he had removed them, disconnected electric, nutted them, then put back on the walls. I guess he was worried they would catch fire. Those traits became dominate the older he got.

I say that  as you've stated your mom has always been negative and it's been about her, sounds like her personality is getting exaggerated kind of like my dad's did as he got older. No meds are going to fix that unfortunately.

Bill is right, if your dad doesn't come home, she may become a real handful.


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