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Olcowhands Daddy Surgery Has Begun.


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#526 HDWildBill OFFLINE  

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Posted February 17, 2014 - 04:16 PM

Hope all goes well.


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#527 olcowhand OFFLINE  

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Posted February 17, 2014 - 09:46 PM

Dad was placed in the ICU.  No test results back as of now.  The way mom has been acting, she may go into long term care before long.  She is evidently losing it.  She's showing no signs of caring about Dad the last few days at all.  It's all about her in her mind.  She fusses, saying the home nurse is being too nice to Dad.  She fusses he's not doing his walking exercises, then fusses he's dirtying the floor when he does!  She fusses about his breathing when he gets short of breath, saying it's getting on her nerves & that he's just doing it on purpose.  She fusses at him about what he eats.  She literally fusses at him about everything.  Dad will never recover with her near him.  Sorry for my rant guys, just on overload at the moment.   :wallbanging:  :wallbanging:  :wallbanging:  :wallbanging:


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#528 trowel OFFLINE  

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Posted February 17, 2014 - 09:51 PM

No prob's, been a very trying day for you, right now he is in the best place to be.

You going up to see him in the morning ?



#529 olcowhand OFFLINE  

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Posted February 17, 2014 - 09:53 PM

 

You going up to see him in the morning ?

 

Lord willing, I'll be there tomorrow!  :thumbs:


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#530 trowel OFFLINE  

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Posted February 17, 2014 - 10:00 PM

That's good of you, tommorow is another day, today is over for now, rest up, hot soup and hot tea for the cough.

I will see you tommorow before the storm.

Let us know how your father is.

 

 

P.S. horses were walking around the yard today, safe and sound in the barn now.


Edited by trowel, February 17, 2014 - 10:01 PM.

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#531 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted February 17, 2014 - 10:09 PM

Sorry he has to go back in the hospital. I wish I had some answer about your mom. I know my moms mom was a nagger but my grandad just ignored her. My dad told me my grandmother never approved of him and that shortly after he and my mom got married he went over to their house to get something.My grandmother answered the door and yelled and fell over on the floor. My granddad stepped over her and told my dad to come in just like she was a piece of furniture. After a few seconds she got up, closed the door, and then went about her business.


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#532 oldedeeres OFFLINE  

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Posted February 18, 2014 - 12:53 AM

Sorry to hear your Dad is having these troubles Daniel. Just wondering here, but perhaps your Mom is terrified of losing your Dad and is unconsciously trying to protect herself by cutting herself off from him, sort of a defence mechanism? Everyone has been concentrating on him and his problem and maybe she feels left out as well. It's hard to sustain a caring and supportive attitude if your feelings are hurt and you're feeling left out. Don't suppose she'd consent to some professional help from a counselor? Maybe under the guise of a family session as "routine procedure " in cases like this? Wouldn't do to have her think it was directed at her specifically. Sure hope thing level out for you soon--- rant away all you need to.
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#533 MH81 OFFLINE  

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Posted February 18, 2014 - 01:46 AM

Hope Dad get some respite from the situation. Tell him we are asking about him.
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#534 Nashcub OFFLINE  

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Posted February 18, 2014 - 07:31 AM

Daniel, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

I'm not a doctor, and I am knowlingly talking out of school, but you might want to look into Alzheimer's and/or dementia as possible cause of your mother's behavior. I've been through a couple of similar situations... My .02

Wishing you all the best.
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#535 olcowhand OFFLINE  

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Posted February 18, 2014 - 08:28 AM

I do appreciate all your support & ideas as to solutions.  I've finished milking & will be heading to the hospital in just a little while.  Last word was he was doing ok.  My Mom has never been very nice to Dad.  He is as devoted to her as one could be despite her behavior, but his only way of coping with her all these years was to dive headfirst into working & keep working.  He has no coping mechanism now, so her constant nagging only causes his health to deteriorate.  Being I've been with dad almost every day of my life, I know a lot more than most of my family of what Mom goes on about.  Dad has always said Mom has never given him a compliment in their whole life together.  Vacations took them all over, even Hawaii on a Farm Bureau trip years ago, a drive all the way to Alaska, and most every state in the union.  All I ever heard out of her was complaints about every trip.  Never once the beauty of the land or anything positive.  Dad has endured so much negativity that it astounds me.

   Update.   My brother just called as he just visited Dad after he got off work this morning.  Dad is still doing OK, and they are doing a scope today to check his stomach.  They believe he has bleeding ulcers.  Imagine that!  Stay tuned.


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#536 Walkinman1 OFFLINE  

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Posted February 18, 2014 - 10:16 AM

I'm sorry to hear about all of this Daniel, everyone else has already offered up every idea I had so at this point I'll just keep praying. Healing and strength for your dad, wisdom and patience for you and understanding for your mom.
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#537 powerking56 OFFLINE  

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Posted February 18, 2014 - 11:54 AM

Sorry to hear you are in the middle of it again.   Will keep praying for all of you. Hope you are starting to feel a bit better yourself.


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#538 HDWildBill OFFLINE  

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Posted February 18, 2014 - 12:40 PM

Daniel, I'm sorry to hear about you dad back in the hospital again.  I do think though that if your dad is ever to recover from all this you all are going to have to find a new mechanism for him to cope with your mother.  A while back we talked about a trailer at your place but maybe even just a camping trailer that he could come over and spend the day in to watch TV, take a nap etc.  Maybe not live in it but just pick him up in the AM and let him spend the day. Then as his strength improves if it is in walking distance of the nice new patio you built he could go and enjoy the sun and enjoy spring which should be right around the corner. (I hope!!!!)

 

I just hate to see you so stressed out, and although going and picking him up to spend the day may be a pain it might just ease some of the stress with him staying there at the house.  I sure hope things will improve for you and your family.


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#539 olcowhand OFFLINE  

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Posted February 18, 2014 - 01:57 PM

Dad is feeling pretty good really.  They are giving him 2 units of blood, and it almost instantly picks one up when blood count is as low as his was.  They still hadn't scoped for ulcers when we left, but he's in good humor, and hoping to come home tomorrow.  I told him how one of my sisters offered him come stay at her place as long as he needed, but he insists on going home to help take care of mom.  I told you, he's dedicated to the end!  May not be much we can do till he has a realization, so till then I'll do all I can to help.  


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#540 Cvans OFFLINE  

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Posted February 18, 2014 - 05:21 PM

Talk to your doctor. They might be able to give Mom something to settle her down. They do have things like that. 


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