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Prayers For Robert Webb's Wife

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#196 David Brown OFFLINE  

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Posted December 04, 2013 - 07:52 PM

I think the hardest part for me is the unknown and the "Helpless" feeling that I have.  I feel like I dont have any control over anything that is going on.

Yes, it is a helpless feeling.  Nobody will deny that.  It's no fun.  What's hard to grasp is the fact that you don't have to have control.  Give God the reigns and let Him work.  You concentrate on making her comfortable, getting rest and making the most of whatever time you have.  Those are the things you do have control over and they are just as important as anything else that is going on.  I don't envy you, I don't know you, but man, I stand with you.  You and your family are in my prayers.

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#197 oldedeeres OFFLINE  

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Posted December 05, 2013 - 12:03 AM

We know this is so rough for you both ,Robert. It's almost impossible to not get caught up in that feeling of desperation and helplessness. When we were in a similar situation, Olde Deere #2 found this poem a comfort.


                  No longer forward nor behind

                   I look in hope or fear;

                   But, grateful, take the good I find,

                    The best of now and here.


                                                           John Greenleaf Whittier

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#198 UncleWillie OFFLINE  


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Posted December 05, 2013 - 02:02 AM

My thoughts are with you.

#199 toomanytoys84 OFFLINE  



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Posted December 05, 2013 - 08:07 AM

 I don't know you, but man, I stand with you.  You and your family are in my prayers.


Same with me.  I think we have all went through similar events with loved ones.

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#200 Sawdust OFFLINE  

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Posted December 05, 2013 - 08:47 AM

So sorry Robert I wasn't expecting this bad news. Your right you can't do no more but hope & pray for a miracle, you have done all you can do & the doctors have too. This is when God works at his best. When we have done all we can do but lean on him he alone is glorified. I'm not giving up on Kimme I know this is easier for me to say than you but I have seen God move too many times over the years to give up now. Pray looking, hoping & expecting good news.
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#201 Robert Webb OFFLINE  

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Posted December 06, 2013 - 02:32 PM

And that is not a good feeling. It's a tough road to go down, but just remember you aren't the only one on it. So are the others involved.

Kenny, that seems to be part of the problem now..........My mother in law has taken it upon herself to move into MY house( I was INFORMED of this and  was no part of any discussion on the subject) and has taken over my son's room. That has not been a problem when she was just visiting because my son and daughter have spent more time at my Sister in laws house in the last 2 months than they have at home.  But my kids are going to be coming home this weekend to STAY until I say otherwise.  My Sister in law and my mother in law thought it was best that they stay over there while she was in the hospital, which I agreed to, but since she will be at home unless something DRASTIC happens, my kids will be returning home and my son WILL be sleeping in his room. We also had hospice come in yesterday and Her mother, father, sister in law were more or less pushing her to get any kind of equipment that Hospice offered, EVEN IF she doesnt need it or want it.  She made the comment several times to the Hospice worker "Not right now" and one of them would speak up and say "Yes she needs that too"  I havent had time to sit down and talk to her since she came home Tuesday night because her mother is always here.  We have had about 2-3 hours total of ALONE time that we could talk since we got the news.  Now dont get me wrong, I dont mind them "helping" but I have to draw the line somewhere.  Another case in point, a Hospice Nurse was at the house while I was at work this morning and she called in a prescription for MORPHINE and NO ONE bothered to call me and let me know.  I show up at the pharmacy to pick a prescription for Ambien and the pharmacists tells me that "it is going to be a few minutes, we still have another script to fill"  When I asked what it was (because I was only aware of ONE) he said that they had just called in the morphine script.  Not only did it scare the living hell out of me, it PISSED ME OFF!  It would have been nice to get a phone call from the nurse or someone in their office saying something like "Mr Webb, we have called in a prescription for Liquid Morphine for Kim to have in the house "just in case" she ever needs it" They took the time to call me and tell me that she had called in a script for Ambien. Then when I get home, I BLEW UP and my mother in law had the audacity to tell me "Well maybe you should have been here so that you could listen to what the nurse had to say"  That really dumped nitro-methane on the fire.  I am the SOLE income in this house other than a small disability check that she is getting from her employer so I dont have a choice other than to go to work everyday. Once I calmed down just a tiny bit, I called the Hospice care office and told them that I had a request and that I expected it to be honored......."I dont want anymore nurses at my home unless I am PHYSICALLY there" And once I told the administrator what had happened she said that "I understand why you are so upset, I would be also"


I had sent Kimme a text this morning and asked "Would it be selfish of me to want to spend Sat night and Sunday alone with you" and she replied "No baby, if that is what you want just say so"  Well as it turns out, that wont be happening either.  I have the Christmas Parade in the morning if it dont rain, then Kimme's sister and her family will be here for the weekend so I doubt very seriously if my front door ever stop swinging until Monday.



And to top ALL of that off.............Today is exactly one year since I lost my mother, so today has been SUPER DUPER stressful on me!


Ok, I guess I can climb down the ladder off my soapbox because IF I were to jump I would probably break both legs :mad2:   So much for an afternoon nap today.


Thanks for putting up with my rants and letting me vent!

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Posted December 06, 2013 - 03:15 PM

Vent away brother!!!!!!

Better to let it out here than hold it in.

We went through some of this a little bit when my dad past last Christmas, but thankfully I have two nurse sisters, one who is actually a hospice nurse so not much got by them.

The worst was our black sheep sister who always thinks it's her way even if it wasn't good.....there was some moments.

In your shoes, my MIL would hate me for a long time. While it is her daughter, ultimately, all  decisions of care lie on you and Kimme's shoulders.

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#203 tinbender7 OFFLINE  



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Posted December 06, 2013 - 03:16 PM

I have never had a spouse in the condition that you are facing,but I can relate to a sick spouse and the inlaws coming in and taking over, my Mother tried to explain to me that their intentions are to help and they forget all bountries sometimes. i will add that to my list of prayers that i have for you. AL

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#204 WNYTractorTinkerer OFFLINE  


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Posted December 06, 2013 - 03:43 PM

Feel free to vent anytime Robert..  


I get the feeling Your world is swirling around with all that's going on..  (As a man who lost two sons I know that feeling well)  Give it to God and ask for his strength as we all are asking him also..


That's the witch about stress..  It makes you angry and some poor soul has to endure your anguish even though they don't deserve it.. :(  Your MIL sounds like a peach (without the 'P' tho!)  **I don't get on too great with mine either BTW..  


Your MIL is hurting too and is stressed & angry just as you are..  She is her little girl!!  I'd lay down the rules with her and come to an agreement because the added drama helps nobody.  If she won't listen, I would offer her the door..  It's your decision as it is your house..  Talk it over with Kimmie & see what she says..  Not knowing your family situation I can only suppose and offer suggestions..  (don't shoot me now!!)  hide.gif


I would also instruct all of the medical professionals that they contact YOU and YOU only so this sort of mis-communication doesn't happen again..  Give them a contact #  (get a trac-phone if you must) so they can get you anytime.  Try not to dwell on the past but deal with the present as now you need to focus and get the most out all the time you have whether it be 60 days or 60 minutes..  Only God knows and the doctors can only suppose..  Believe me when I tell you they are proven wrong quite often..  


You guys will be in my thoughts and I pray that things will improve for you and your family!

Edited by WNYTractorTinkerer, December 06, 2013 - 03:45 PM.

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#205 SupplySergeant ONLINE  


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Posted December 06, 2013 - 04:08 PM

Vent away, brother! It's the least we can do to listen. I understand in-laws wanting to "help", and of course you don't want to piss them off for when you do need them. Good luck, and we'll keep praying!

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#206 grnspot110 OFFLINE  



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Posted December 06, 2013 - 04:53 PM

As stated, VENT AWAY!!!


I haven't been where you are, but have been sole caretaker for a wife with cancer (fortunately, not as far along as your wife) & have been through cancer treatments myself, sometimes you just need to "tell" somebody & that's the one thing we  can do here, is listen!  


So vent away!  ~~  Lowell

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#207 MH81 ONLINE  


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Posted December 06, 2013 - 05:27 PM

Jokes about MIL's are told for a reason...
Robert, ask 'Mom' and 'Sis' to give you the evening alone so you can talk about a few things. Be sure not to come across as if you are blaming her for her family members p*ss poor manners but ask for her advice on how to handle it. I only say this because (while illness wasnt involved, pregnancy was) i have almost been there and in hind site, I would have handled it this way instead of the way I did and shouldn't have...

Vent all you want or need to. We have collectively broad shoulders.
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#208 bgkid2966 OFFLINE  



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Posted December 06, 2013 - 08:58 PM

Please vent if you need to.  I will keep you and Kimme in my daily prayers. Sometimes you just need to take charge. We are here for you.





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#209 Robert Webb OFFLINE  

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Posted December 07, 2013 - 08:38 AM

Well it seems that things sort of worked out for the best last night.  After I blew up, I made it a point to keep busy and out of the house.  I spent most of the afternoon getting the tractors, carts and hay wagon ready for the parade this morning.  I made 3 trips to the car wash to clean up the tractors.  When I got back everyone was gone except for the MIL and when I walked IN the door, she walked OUT.  Was kind of comical at the time.  I asked Kimme if she had "run everyone off" and she said that the MIL had been having a coughing spell and she didnt have it until she started staying at our house......so she was going back to the Son's house and would be staying over there at night and coming to our house in the mornings to sit with Kimme until I get home.  Well, it worked out for the best because Kimme and I got to sit down and talk for a while last night.  I expressed my concerns about the "lack of communication" and explained to her again WHY I blew up the way that I did and she said that it would have scared her as well if she had shown up at the pharmacy and got blindsided. We also discussed the equipment issue and she said that she is fine with it NOW but she was a little upset about it at the time.  We also talked about the kids coming home. And we even talked about her mother "moving in" and that was pretty much squelched as well.   SO............all seems to be getting back to normal and I didnt have to show my hiney!


On a good note (sort of) Kimme is going wedding dress shopping with her daughter Monday.  Her daughter was supposed to be getting married in Sept but the night that we talked to the older kids, Kimme's mother told Ashleigh that "You need to think about moving your wedding up because you dont know how long your mother will be around".............TALK ABOUT LOUSY TIMING!  Needless to say I was FURIOUS that she even brought the subject up!  I understand where she was coming from and would have been fine with it had she waited until a later date to ask her or suggest moving the wedding date up. (Kimme and I discussed that last night as well) You dont sit down and tell your daughter that you have 4-6 months to live and then suggest that she move her wedding date just to accommodate you in the same conversation.  In the beginning it was suggested to have a small intimate ceremony for the immediate family so that her mother could be there and then keep the same "Wedding Date" to perform the ceremony for everyone else. Well I was told last night that they have moved the ENTIRE wedding up to Jan.  I am just glad that Kimme will be around to see her daughter get married since her son and his wife decided to get married at the courthouse and FORBID anyone to come. (that is a LONG story in itself)


Another good note.........All of our friends and even people that we dont even really know have been BEGGING to help us in some way!  Well, it just so happened that a bunch of the men from our Sunday school class were over at Carrie's (my AWESOME sister in law) house the other night and we asking her "WHAT can we do, we NEED to do something for her and her family"  so Carrie suggested that they could build a wheel chair ramp from the front porch to the driveway and they are supposed to be coming over sometime in the next week or so to build it.


The company that Kimme was working for (she hasnt worked since early October) has been after her to let them help as well.  Well Kimme is drawing her short term disability through them and they are paying the difference in what she draws on disability and what she was making on a 40 hour paycheck.  These people LOVE MY WIFE DEARLY!  Even though they are supplementing her disability check, they still feel the need to help out more.  One of the women that she worked with and is really close to finally talked Kimme into letting them hire someone come and keep the house clean........once a week, twice a week, however many times Kimme wants it cleaned.  Kimme also has a life insurance policy with the company and was afraid that as soon as her short term disability ran out that she would lose it because she was no longer employed with them. (we told them that she wouldnt be back to work a month or so ago, so that they could go ahead and hire someone to replace her) Well, I went by and talked to her boss yesterday and asked if it would be possible to keep the policy and us keep paying the premiums and he said "Absolutely, when it comes down to it, either THEY would pay the premiums or we could pay them"  Knowing Fred, he will just keep paying them and never even mention it to me again.  He also told me that they were working on something BIG for us but didnt elaborate. They have been SO GOOD to us!


And one last thing...............Last night while I was washing tractors, for some reason the thought of painting my 430 PINK popped in my head.  I have been joking with Kimme for years now about doing her a pink tractor. Well I called my Sister in law and asked her to contact a good family friend and see if he would be interested in painting the tractor for me. I am hoping that I can get him to donate the paint and labor. I talked to a guy at a local upholstery shop about dying the seat PINK as well.  I am hoping to have this done in the next month so that I can make sure that Kimme will be able to at least see it and hopefully be able to drive it at least once.  It will be TOTALLY customized as a tribute to her and it WILL make appearances at the upcoming plow days and I can tell you that it will be VERY EMOTIONAL each and every time that I use that tractor.  Keep tuned for updates.  Once I get the project rolling, I will start a new thread!


Thanks for all of you guys and gals supporting and putting up with me........

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#210 KennyP OFFLINE  



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Posted December 07, 2013 - 09:05 AM

Robert, glad to hear things are better there for you folks. Hope the parade goes well. Sounds like folks want to help, let them have at it. It's their way of venting too.

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