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The Farther Away From Land You Get The More Dangerous It Is.


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#1 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted April 13, 2013 - 09:53 PM

Laying down in the warm embrace of mother earth is safe. Staring up at the clouds never injured anyone. It is the safest thing you can do.

 

After a while though, some bright person gets the idea to stand up. Standing is OK, but it leads to falling. Falling leads to bumps and bruises. But isn't too dangerous.

 

Then at some point some bright person stood on the edge of the water and said, “I wonder what is out there?” SO he walked out. This lead to the invention of swimming, drowning and making promises to God. But it was still fairly close to land. And it was sorta dangerous.

 

Some smart person came up with the idea of cutting down a tree, hollowing it out and rowing out in the middle of the water far away from land. This lead to the invention of bankruptcy, fishing lies and drunk sailing. The problem with boating is what happens when something goes wrong. Sure you could swim, tread water, hang on to a piece of drift wood, and hope that helps finds you before the sharks do, but after that the whole drowning thing comes up again. And it was moderately dangerous.

 

When man decided that this wasn't hazardous enough he looked to the sky. Birds can fly, why can't man? SO man built hot air balloons – which lead to the advent of great burning balls of gas in the sky. Then he invented propeller aircraft, helicopters, jet airplanes, spy planes, and airliners. With each new invention he went higher and faster and things got exponentially more dangerous. When things go wrong, however, there are limits to what can be done. So man invented parachutes, which lead to the invention of scary videos of failed parachute openings and hilarious videos of errant parachutist being dragged across the ground by rogue winds. And it wad very dangerous.

 

Then man said, “I must go higher” and so he took huge paper towel tubes and filled them with the most volatile liquids they could find, set it on fire and blasted away from earth – which lead to the invention of brown streaked Fruit of the Looms and Tang. Man build more rockets ships, satellites, shuttles and space planes. And it was very very dangerous. When something goes wrong in space...well things just go poof.

 

And then shrapnel and debris come hurtling back to the ground. Right to where a man is laying in his back yard looking up at the clouds.

 

Maybe laying out there isn't so safe after all.


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#2 HydroHarold OFFLINE  

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Posted April 13, 2013 - 10:39 PM

Yup, yer right!  I vote we de-fund NASA and use the money to give I.Q tests to prospective elected officials.  Logs are only good for stoves.  Hollowing them out just wastes wood.  Nothing good happens IN water, nothing. 


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#3 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted April 14, 2013 - 07:31 AM

But what do we do with all those paper towel tubes? Point them at N. Korea?!!


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#4 superaben OFFLINE  

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Posted April 14, 2013 - 07:35 AM

I'll make sure I keep the results of your study in mind as I do my cloud watching.  You're getting so philosophical, we'll have to start calling you Dr.!

 

Ben W.


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#5 SearsYellow OFFLINE  

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Posted April 14, 2013 - 07:42 AM

LOL @ LilysDad. Point paper towel tubes @ NK.  Bigwarwagon you forgot to mention that people flying up in a helium ballon on the edge of space and jumping out with only a parachute strapped to their back.

But what do we do with all those paper towel tubes? Point them at N. Korea?!!



#6 SearsYellow OFFLINE  

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Posted April 14, 2013 - 07:49 AM

Dr. Pop.... Professor of Philosophy.

I'll make sure I keep the results of your study in mind as I do my cloud watching.  You're getting so philosophical, we'll have to start calling you Dr.!

 

Ben W.


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#7 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted April 14, 2013 - 11:52 AM

This is what goes through my mind on long drives. I rarely turn the radio on .


Edited by mybigwarwagon, April 14, 2013 - 01:19 PM.

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#8 John@Reliable OFFLINE  

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Posted April 14, 2013 - 12:30 PM

Sounds like it could be a country song :bigrofl: :bigrofl:


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#9 HydroHarold OFFLINE  

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Posted April 15, 2013 - 12:42 AM

Oh those terrible sinful paper towel and toilet paper cores, the latest crusade by the Green Crazy Army!  First they limited how much water you could use to make the paper disappear so we all have to flush 4 or more times in succession to get an acceptable bathroom experience... and use way more water.  Now eliminate American and Canadian cardboard core jobs too? 

 

Since they are most probably "post consumer materials" I consider those tubes to be "sacred" in that they provide jobs in the original manufacturing AND recycling industries for people who may want to have a job as opposed to those "Caring Crusaders" who don't even need a job.  Coreless toilet paper?  How about less useless air time for silly off base commercials about non-issues.

 

(There, one serenely comfortable pressure reduced spleen!  Beats yoga!) :D :dancingbanana:



#10 LilysDad ONLINE  

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Posted April 15, 2013 - 07:11 AM

Do you remember all the Charmin commercials that touted the softness of their product? Has anyone else figured out yet that they pump air into the stuff so there is less actual paper in the roll?


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#11 marlboro180 OFFLINE  

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Posted April 16, 2013 - 09:15 PM

I really enoyed that one Wagon, thanks.






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