Woke up this morning to no hot water. Tank is shot. Had a cold shower. Told wife to phone a place and get a new tank.
Made coffee. Forget to put coffee in the filter. Tried again, worked a little better.
Went to work. Sellick broken, had to steal a forklift to load my truck. Stole one that immediately ran out of propane.
Wife phones with many water tank options. I pick the electric one because I can fix it myself next time, then realize that the inspection might be problematic due to wiring done before I was born. Call wife back. Too late. Guess I'll find out if I have to rewire my entire house next week sometime.
Pick up a load best described as "The Leaning Tower of Cardboard." Forklift driver seems to live on a diet of bizarre hallucenogenic drugs and a hatred of all humanity. Throw some straps over it and hope for the best. Drive very carefully.
Stop at Tim Horton's for a coffee. Cop in line behind me tells me I shouldn't leave my truck running because somebody might steal it. I tell him that if they can drive it they can have it. He looks a little sour. Refrain from making cop/donut joke.
Cop passes me, making me third on scene of massive water main break. Spend 30 or 40 minutes watching water turn to slush before being waved through to detour that takes me in wrong direction.
Drop off the leaning tower of cardboard. Receiver chastises me for doing up my straps too tight and crushing boxes. Perhaps he'd prefer it if they fell off my truck? I point out that the boxes are full of steel parts that straps can't damage. He says he doesn't care. I point out that I don't care either. He looks sad.
Go to next stop. They've had some sort of industrial accident. Two firetrucks, one cop car, one ambulance. Get a sweet load of hydraulic cylinders in record time. Decide industrial accidents might be a positive thing.
Head up the road. Plastic car bumper appears from under semi in front of me. Nowhere to go, tailgating gravel truck behind me, so I drive over it. No flat yet, but it did cut my front right sidewall.
Trade sweet load for a dog's breakfast. A skid of boxes, a crate of pins, a baby suicide coil of wire rope, a lift of drawbars. Nothing matches in height or weight. Forklift driver won't listen. Have to hold my smoke in my mouth juuuusssst right to strap it all down. 7400 pounds on an 8000 pound truck and the right side (the one with the cut front sidewall) about a ton heavier than the left. Like driving on a side hill.
Get back to shop without incident. Park truck. Bring other truck (co-driver had to leave early) inside. Show boss the sidewall. She suggests it will be okay until next week until the truck goes in for service. Whatever...I don't have to pay for emergency roadside service.
Come home. Watch politics on TV. Stunned at the incompetence, not just of the government but the opposition parties and the journalists and even the advertisers. If this is the best we can do, our species is doomed.
Hit the I-Pod. The Supersuckers are playing are playing Born with a Tail. Open a beer, come to GTT. All better now.