16 replies to this topic

[Moosetales]

Earlier today tractorman started a new post shortly after lunch. All that was said was, “I’m done.” What followed was post after post of playful banter and words of support for whatever might be going on with tractorman.

 

Well, his post got me thinking. You see, I’m a social worker by birth (and by training). I come by it naturally as my dad passed along some of his fantastically intuitive and reality based genes (I’m no bleeding heart for sure). I spend my days working with kids and adults who are truly struggling with life’s challenges….big and small.

 

Here in Maine, a couple years back, we had a real tragedy, where an estranged dad shot and killed his two children and his ex-wife in the early morning hours of a regular old school day. It was bad enough that it happened so close to home but when I started doing some digging and realized that (through my FB account) a friend of a friend of a friend was friends with the family it made me stop and take notice of how open our lives are to the public yet how out of touch we can be.

 

Through the friend of a friend of a friend on FB I found that between the dad and the mom they probably had upwards of 200 friends on their FB accounts….and all the signs were there after the fact…..but the tragedy still happened. My response to this revelation was to go home and purge my FB account of anyone that I did not have daily (REAL) communication with for fear that I might be perpetuating the same theme I witnessed in the above situation; everyone was connected but NO ONE picked up on the signs. I vowed then and there to do everything in my power to stay in touch with my FB (and non FB) friends enough to where I’d have a fighting chance of picking up on the signs and doing something to help a friend in need….even if the signs were subtle.

 

Now I’m sure there is more to the story as to why tractorman started new post. And I’m sure there’ll be many eye rolls when people read this post BUT I couldn’t sit idle on this one.

 

More often than not people whole heartedly believe that to talk about something will only encourage the behavior (i.e. suicide, sexuality, drugs, alcohol, etc.). True, sometimes planting the seed when there is no legitimate context can lead someone to be curious and start down a path they might not have gone down but in general talking about something that’s important or painful DISCOURAGES the unwanted behavior.

 

So, what’s my point?

 

Do we have a moral obligation or a simple responsibility to each other, even if we’ve never met each other, to check in, reach out or inquire about each other when we notice something’s amiss, out of character or for no good reason at all?

 

I look forward to your thoughts.

[JD DANNELS]

Not ignoring this but am one who read it and did not comment. It was a well thought out question and very well written.  i think I need to think it through before I comment.

[JRJ]

I feel we have a moral obligation and a responsibility to each other. We all share the same interest and in a way that bonds us.

Very well written Moosetales

Dick

Edited by JRJ, January 30, 2013 - 07:57 PM.

[WNYTractorTinkerer]

So Moosetales-  Are you charging $$$ by the hour here??  

 

  I know we all have our battles to fight and some of us have more on their plates than others..  So without knowing what or how caused Tractorman to enter that short post only leaves folks to wonder..  Maybe he was only mad at his tractor for whatever reason as it gave him trouble or something way worse is for him to know and if he would like to share it in open forum or maybe take up private conversations with friends is totally his call.  

 

  A post like that naturally peaks folk's curiousity as to what was the cause of the thing and though some folks posted a humorous thing or two another hijacked it a bit and vented his own frustrations..  It's just the nature of the public forums..  JRJ posted a nice offering of help if Tractorman desired but he has yet to reply in open forum so we, as a group should just respect his feelings and privacy.  Just my opinion on this..  We cannot read anything into this and suppose because we just do not know the facts..  OK?  Feel free to reply or vent or try to sell Ronco stuff on this thread too..

[tractorgarden]

I agree ,with you all. I take notice of post count and assume it a joke. Best of luck with whatever the outcome!

[MH81]

The GTT family is very special to me. I am uncertain of what the other thread may be about or what may have happened to precipitate any situations, but in general, I have never seen a group of guys more supportive of each other, their hobby, their troubles, their needs and dreams.

Most of the guys on this site are here because of GT's, some are here more for the comradarie, some are here to have fun and kick up their heels with like minded guys and gals... Whatever the reason, we're in the hobby together... And should strive to get along without rocking the boat.

Not every day will any group of family members be best friends or even all get along, same here. Just know we're all friends or at least acquaintances with the same addiction...we are all GT nuts. If you are having a problem, tell someone about it, it's amazing how it can help.

I am sure TM knows he has a group of friends he can share with and at the least know we will be supportive even if we don't know what we are supporting.

[Moosetales]

Friend is a subjective term. I have an uncountable number of acquaintances, a small number of freinds and an even smaller number of enemies. As I don't feel I have any enemies here, there probably isn't anyone here I would help move, not from dislike, but more from location. I don't beloved the humor was intended in bulling or hate, but of levity. No one knows the intent of the post, but it seems he was not in the best of moods and a few applied humor to raise his spirits.

 

rat88, don't get me wrong, nothing that was posted prompted me to start this post. I was encouraged that so many jumped at the chance to respond with a mix of humor and encouragement. I love this forum and have learned a bunch (and still am learning) AND I've developed some fun connections with a handful of guys. I don't intend to imply that there is much we CAN do in cases like this only wanted to start a conversation. I don't see that we can do anything other than PM someone if we want and it's there choice to respond or not. I've said this before (and I truly mean it) I've been in churches that aren't as helpful and encouraging as this site is to EVERYONE.

[johndeereelfman]

Matthew,

 

I, like you, have wondered the same thing. Should we reach out? Should we try and get involved? Does he need help? I read his post, and all of the other posts that everyone left for him, but like JD Dannels, I left it alone. However, I did send him a PM, offering to lend an ear, if he needed someone to talk to. It's none of my business, on what has him upset, if that is the case, but I am always willing to help out or lend a hand, anyway that I can. I tried to confirm to him that he has family here, and told him that I hoped he knew he could come to us if needed.

 

One thing that I try to do, is go through my friends list, and check in with each member, just to say Hi, and ask how they've been. Most of the friends on my list, haven't logged on in quite a while, but the guys who do log on, on a regular basis, I like to let them know that I appreciate all of the help that they offer, and try to give them encouragement to keep coming back. I appreciate all of you friends that I have, and I hope you all know that I'm really looking forward to meet you all face-to-face someday. Yes, we give advice and knowledge, and yes we joke and carry on sometimes, but the thing that makes us truely friends, is that we always seem to know when to encourage each other. Encouragement is such a morality buster, and it will give our members the willingness to want to stay involved and post.

 

I hope all is well with Tractorman, and I hope he comes back again!

[Ryan313]

I think we are obligated, to a certain extent. I value this place, and the friendships I have here. Like rat88 said, I also have many acquaintances, and I only have a few people (outside of this site) that I would call a friend. With the social networking nowadays the word "friend" has kinda lost its meaning and is thrown around more then it probably should be. I consider a good number of the members here friends and the rest acquaintances, more or less. With that said, I will support any member in their decisions and be there if anybody needs somebody to lean on.

[marlboro180]

Ryan, that is a good point. I have many acqaintances, collegues,  and " friends".  FB is well, just FB.  That being said,  I have a couple brothers ( non - bloodline) that I have met along life's journey's that I hold dear to my heart. Moosetales, you ask what is our responsiblity to others, and in my world, that means to reach out to any other individual that might need a hand, a heart or a shoulder to lean on .  I have had the fortunate  opportunity to lean, and to  be leaned on through life, and as my personal religion is in the belief in  people above all else.  I regard that  being a true friend is  an honor.

 

Piety is something to behold in one's life.

 

Interesting topic, glad it came up.  :-)

[Moosetales]

Ryan, that is a good point. I have many acqaintances, collegues,  and " friends".  FB is well, just FB.  That being said,  I have a couple brothers ( non - bloodline) that I have met along life's journey's that I hold dear to my heart. Moosetales, you ask what is our responsiblity to others, and in my world, that means to reach out to any other individual that might need a hand, a heart or a shoulder to lean on .  I have had the fortunate  opportunity to lean, and to  be leaned on through life, and as my personal religion is in the belief in  people above all else.  I regard that  being a true friend is  an honor.

 

Piety is something to behold in one's life.

 

Interesting topic, glad it came up.  :-)

 

"I have had the fortunate  opportunity to lean, and to  be leaned on through life..." Well said and I'm grateful to be able to say I've had the same experience. Thanks for chiming in.