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What Do You Say To Your Son..........


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#16 KennyP ONLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 05:36 PM

I don't have a FB  page and don't care to go there. But, a rule is a rule. You need to assert that now. No 'negotiations', no let it slide. If you really care about him, let him know where you stand. Back up your rules or there isn't any need to have any!


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#17 DougT ONLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 05:37 PM

I would tell him #1-it's the rule. #2-It's already upset your Grandma #3-I don't want my friends and family friends to see you posting stuff like that and embarassing your mom and I. which was the reason for the rule. When he's footing the bill, he can make his own rule. If there's any negotiation to be done, it should be done prior to the rule being broken!


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#18 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 05:41 PM

We have actually crossed this bridge here at the house. One of my children was making off handed comments to just be weird... You know the type, mildly humorous nerd that seems to get along with most.

I misread a comment that used a current vernacular (and in my defense, most of my generation would've) the final edict was that either it come down or the page goes away. No negotiation. After compliance, if you want to discuss it fine, but you're 13 and I know all your passwords...
At the very least, I can embarrass you with baby pictures and pics of you tomorrow morning with bed head until you realize I will win.

Inappropriate comment down, mature apology in its place. Later, a discussion occurred between people where common ground was found and more understanding and respect for each other accidentally happened.
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#19 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 05:43 PM

If you will go say this to your mother's face, and she doesn't slap the taste out of your mouth...you can leave it up.  


I just laughed hard enough to snort. Thanks OB. BTW, do you have a patent or copyright on that statement or can it be used by anyone?
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#20 JD DANNELS OFFLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 06:26 PM

You might point out to him, that once it's on the internet it's a matter of public record  indefinately regardless of his opinion changing in the future.

I'm often amazed when I do a google search on a subject I am intersted in and google brings up a post I have made on  FORUM SEVERAL YEARS AGO?


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#21 Farmlife OFFLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 06:38 PM

First off, your house your rules but since you asked, this is what I would do.  Having many nephews and nieces peakin into their teen years I will say this.  Many of them will respect what you say provided they were brought to this age by respecting their elders.  That being said, tooooo much restriction will cause them to try and "one-up" you.  I found my niece with several different FB accounts when their parents forbid them to even have one.  Creating one is nothing more than a fake email which takes seconds to do, and a fake name.  There are soooo many settings to lock out or BLOCK anyone you want so they can find you as soon as they create the page and block your account before you even know they have one.  When you search for them, FB will tell you "no results found".  Find a solution that they don't feel backed into, or you will find yourself with much bigger problems as years go on......


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#22 OldBuzzard ONLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 06:55 PM

I just laughed hard enough to snort. Thanks OB. BTW, do you have a patent or copyright on that statement or can it be used by anyone?

 

 

I've heard various versions of that before...I'm pretty sure it's in the public domain :D :D :D


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#23 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 07:17 PM

Rules are rules. Those that aren't obeyed are broken. Seems pretty simple to me.
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#24 Moosetales OFFLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 08:15 PM

Well guys, thanks for weighing in. A lot of great ideas and it feels great to be in good company of all of you who have or have had kids in the same position.

 

Here's what I ended up texting my son earlier this afternoon....and his additional responses:

 

(Dad) "It's an attitude, character thing for me. We are what and who we associate with. Maybe this is who you are, but while I still have an ounce of influence left I wish to use it to guide you as much as you allow. Once you're on your own you can do and be as you'd like. Just remember....the world is watching and takes notice. Dad"

 

(Son) "Ahaha alright! I'll take it down :)"

 

(Dad) "Sounds good. Thanks for humoring me;)"

 

(Son) "Hahahaha no  problem!"

 

So there you have it. He's a great kid and has lots to learn about life.....I just hope (as many of you also hope) to walk that fine line between letting out slack enough he tastes freedom while holding the line taught enough to guide him and keep him safe.

 

As I said, my son's a great kid, active in his community and into NO trouble at all......just wanting to grow up faster than I'm probably ready to let him go. For all you fly fisherman here's a taste of what this kid's got up his sleeve for talent (first video featured on the link below):

 

Video: An Artistic Look at the Black Ghost

http://www.orvisnews...lack ghost.aspx

 

Again, thanks for weighing in and I'm assured, after reading all your responses today, that I'm in great company here on GTTalk.


Edited by Moosetales, January 29, 2013 - 08:17 PM.

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#25 OldBuzzard ONLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 09:22 PM

Sounds like he was just "testing the limits" a bit. He wouldn't be a 'proper boy' if he didn't do that from time to time. :D :D :D...


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#26 coldone OFFLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 09:23 PM

I like all the suggestions that have been offered and how you handled it.

 

Kids dont understand the impact of the "net presence" they have now. Employeers will typically run your name through Google just to see what they find. If they dont like what they see, not hired or fired maybe the results. Think they cant find out your fake names and profiles, think again. Think you want to go into the military and be a secret squirrel,  stupid stuff on the net and no security clearance.

 

When I was a teen, if you brought a camera to a party you took your life in your own hands. Today they take pics of everything and put it up for the world to see. I dont get it.


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#27 New.Canadian.DB.Owner OFFLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 09:34 PM

I know it is off topic, but I gotta give you 10 out of 10 for artistic merit on the video!

Video: An Artistic Look at the Black Ghost

http://www.orvisnews...lack ghost.aspx


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#28 Moosetales OFFLINE  

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Posted January 29, 2013 - 09:38 PM

I know it is off topic, but I gotta give you 10 out of 10 for artistic merit on the video!

 

I'll pass that along to my son. Once he catches wind that I shared my "dad woes" with my GT community I might need to go into the witness protection program........I look forward to sharing with him all you thoughts and opinions. He's definitely one to put himself out there so he sure to be a good sport about it. He's been tying flies like a mad man in preparation for Spring.



#29 IamSherwood OFFLINE  

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Posted January 30, 2013 - 08:12 AM

It's important that they understand that they're being watched.

 

Here is an example. Was on the news this morning.

 

http://www.mississau...printed-by-cops


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#30 TAHOE ONLINE  

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Posted January 30, 2013 - 10:49 AM

Wow, we must have similar kids. My 15yr old also has FB and he is to allow us to have password and also ability that we can see everything. I have also had to have him take stuff off his page, he pretty much abliges my our wished. I also remind him that being a young Christian youth, that does not look good on his witness to his friends and peer pressure or being part of the crowd gets you no where. Not to mention, stuff you post on FB is like dinosaur footprints, they become fossils in the stone that don't go away and are there for someone later to find.

He's a good kid, but just trying to figure out this growing up thing. Mine is really pushing us to get his temp permit in a few weeks, but until the school work improves some, that might be on hold. He is definitely pushing his limits on trying not to do stuff and being his "own person".

 

Glad to see you have a good relationship with your son, at least he still respects your wishes.


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