Jump to content

Nominations for Tractor of the Month
Garden Tractors and Parts on eBay



Photo
- - - - -

Diary Of A Snow Shoveller


  • Please log in to reply
19 replies to this topic

#1 WNYTractorTinkerer OFFLINE  

WNYTractorTinkerer

    Tinker Master

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Member No: 10789
  • 8,302 Thanks
  • 4,657 posts
  • Location: Avon, NY

Posted December 25, 2012 - 05:42 AM

December 8:
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our Irish Hot Chocolates and sat for hours by the window, watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a whiteChristmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14:
Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to *20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15:
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20:
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. freakin' snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white !!!! fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the ******* is lying.

December 23:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's damn well lying.

December 24:
6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a ***** who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the freakin' snowplow.

December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the @#$%^& slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26:
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28:
Warmed up to above-50. Still snowed in. THE ***** is driving me crazy!!!

December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave-in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling!

January 8:
:thank_you:
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

(Borrowed from NEWT!)
  • John@Reliable, daytime dave, MH81 and 6 others have said thanks

#2 KennyP OFFLINE  

KennyP

    FORDoholic

  • Super Moderator
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 2253
  • 28,394 Thanks
  • 39,654 posts
  • Location: Collinsville, Oklahoma

Posted December 25, 2012 - 05:50 AM

Good one for this morning! Thanks!



#3 shorty ONLINE  

shorty

    Member

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Member No: 6172
  • 3,526 Thanks
  • 3,917 posts
  • Location: Lancaster County Pa

Posted December 25, 2012 - 06:30 AM

That is good. Got a good laugh out of that one. Now I wonder, was that a southern couple that moved to New York?



#4 JDBrian OFFLINE  

JDBrian

    Super Moderator

  • Super Moderator
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 2507
  • 9,574 Thanks
  • 14,136 posts
  • Location: Hubley, Nova Scotia - Canada

Posted December 25, 2012 - 06:46 AM

If he had of bought a GT with a plow and a blower he would have been so much happier!!



#5 Amigatec OFFLINE  

Amigatec

    Collector of Rusty Junk

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 5899
  • 2,023 Thanks
  • 3,172 posts
  • Location: Haskell Oklahoma

Posted December 25, 2012 - 06:56 AM

This is about the way I was feeling a couple of years ago. First time I had seen that much since I left Germany.

#6 MH81 ONLINE  

MH81

    Proud to be Deplorable

  • Staff Admin
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 802
  • 27,250 Thanks
  • 28,602 posts
  • Location: N. W. PA

Posted December 25, 2012 - 09:08 AM

That was very funny, but i have one question...What's a shovel?

Thanks for sharing.
  • backwoods and WNYTractorTinkerer have said thanks

#7 Amigatec OFFLINE  

Amigatec

    Collector of Rusty Junk

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 5899
  • 2,023 Thanks
  • 3,172 posts
  • Location: Haskell Oklahoma

Posted December 25, 2012 - 10:00 AM

I only use a shovel so I can dig my way the SnowThrower.

#8 bhts OFFLINE  

bhts

    Bob's Lawn and Garden Tractors

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Sponsor
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 945
  • 1,413 Thanks
  • 2,115 posts
  • Location: ohio

Posted December 25, 2012 - 10:14 AM

:bigrofl:  :bigrofl:  Thanks me and the wife had a good laugh after reading it.


  • WNYTractorTinkerer said thank you

#9 Ryan313 OFFLINE  

Ryan313

    PK Fanatic

  • Super Moderator
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 7087
  • 3,239 Thanks
  • 5,159 posts
  • Location: Wallkill, NY

Posted December 25, 2012 - 10:15 AM

That was very funny, but i have one question...What's a shovel?

Thanks for sharing.

Well, you have one tractor on snow duty, then another to back that one up. The shovel covers the backup tractor... :bigrofl:



#10 MH81 ONLINE  

MH81

    Proud to be Deplorable

  • Staff Admin
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 802
  • 27,250 Thanks
  • 28,602 posts
  • Location: N. W. PA

Posted December 25, 2012 - 10:26 AM

The shovel covers the backup tractor... :bigrofl:

Oh, so it's to keep the snow off the seat or the engine? Nice, a little protective hard cover, kinda like a portable shed roof.

I'll have to see if they have any at the stores come summer, maybe pick one up.

Thanks Ryan, now I understand.

#11 daytime dave OFFLINE  

daytime dave

    Live long and prosper

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 531
  • 4,485 Thanks
  • 6,353 posts
  • Location: Upstate NY

Posted December 25, 2012 - 10:57 AM

Pretty funny story.  Good for a laugh.  Thank you.



#12 IamSherwood OFFLINE  

IamSherwood

    Elf guardian

  • Senior Member
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 2066
  • 8,379 Thanks
  • 7,696 posts
  • Location: Northern Ontario

Posted December 25, 2012 - 11:05 AM

Thanks WNYTT. That was good.

Reminds me of that Chevy Chase movie, Funny Farm. :rolling:



#13 Fabman OFFLINE  

Fabman

    Member

  • Senior Member
  • Member No: 3229
  • 257 Thanks
  • 374 posts
  • Location: north-central Iowa

Posted December 25, 2012 - 12:04 PM

:bigrofl:  :bigrofl: Thats gotta be the funniest diary i'v ever read.


  • WNYTractorTinkerer said thank you

#14 larrybl ONLINE  

larrybl

    Texas Member

  • Site Supporter
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 415
  • 4,941 Thanks
  • 3,322 posts
  • Location: Central Texas

Posted December 25, 2012 - 04:31 PM

Ya all get up way to earily. Good story!



#15 KennyP OFFLINE  

KennyP

    FORDoholic

  • Super Moderator
  • Staff
  • -GTt Supporter-
  • Contributor
  • Member No: 2253
  • 28,394 Thanks
  • 39,654 posts
  • Location: Collinsville, Oklahoma

Posted December 25, 2012 - 06:04 PM

Ya all get up way to earily. Good story!

If there was something going on in the evening worth staying up for, I'd sleep in a bit later. I'm usually totally bored by 7:30PM.






Top