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The Adventures Of My New Hat


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#2281 larrybl ONLINE  

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Posted August 02, 2014 - 09:40 PM

My stomach turns when my Grandson goes to stay with his Mommy and her floosy. I heard tonight that She is thinking of moving back in with us and leaving him <--- the floosy. WooHoo :dancingbanana:   


Edited by larrybl, August 02, 2014 - 09:41 PM.

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#2282 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted August 04, 2014 - 06:25 PM

Bad day to be a Dodge.

 

 

Yesterday everyone took a day off. Steph and I actually got to spend some quality time together since the big kids are on their way back to AZ and Heath was taking a nap.

 

This morning we had to be in Hickory at the 8am, so at the crack of early the alarm clock screamed to life and things began.

bossSuperBlendCoffee.gif

 

 

I know that Heath was still awake at 2am when I went to the kitchen for the last time. He has my night owl syndrome. I went to sleep around 4am.

 

We made one stop for 20 gallons of fuel since we had $.55 off per gallon with fuel perks then headed on up the highway.

 

We got to the apartment complex and the parking lot was tiny. There was no way I was going to be able to turn around with the Caravan up on the dolly. Fortunately the Caravan ran, although it only had reverse. So it got backed up on the dolly.

 

Oh, and it stunk to high heaven. I have no idea how to identify the stink, but it was bad.

 

The woman we got it from was kind of flighty. After I backed it up on the dolly and got out to strap it down I saw her reach in the van to get something and I didn't think anything about it – till I went to put the van in neutral. She took the keys. We finally got her to come back outside and she said her wallet was on the keys. I wanted to slap her.

 

There was no way I was driving back home with the van backwards and wagging around so we stopped at a church that had a nice big hilly parking lot and unloaded it and turned it around.

 

Then I went by the Hickory courthouse to take care of my ticket. Once we got there I was told I had to go to Newton. I was getting a bit peeved with the back and forth.

 

So we went to Newton. The parking lot at the courthouse was packed. A guy kidnapped a woman and murdered her – his first appearance was today. After finding a place big enough for 35 feet of vehicles I went in and was back out in about 3 minutes. The halls were packed with potential jurors. Fortunately no ne was taking care of tickets but me.

 

We drove back to Lincolnton and stopped at Bojangles and got some food. Heat was a bit hungry. He snarfed down most of my dirty rice, half my biscuit, and another half order of dirty rice.

 

As we were almost home Heath was nodding off and I knew he would be miserable if he didn't get somekind of a nap so we added an extra 20 minutes to our drive by circling some back roads.

 

Back at home Heath awakened as soon as we pulled in the yard. Steph and I gutted the Caravan and stuffed it full of junk while Heath tortured the tractors.

 

We shot down to the scrap yard and unloaded and left with a check. One stop at the bank and we were off to Gastonia.

 

We hadbot of time to kill so we swung by Best Buy. After looking a their prices I discovered they were all to high and we left.

 

There is usually a lot of traffic on the way to Fort Mill so we headed on down. There was no traffic. We were supposed to be there at 430 – we got there at 245.

 

After looking around for nothing to do and finding nothing I stopped in a shopping center that had a cigar shop and an ABC store. I got 3 cigars and 4 months worth of whisky. I love those SC prices.

 

Then we stopped at a Baskin Robbins/ Dunkin Doughnuts and got milkshakes( Steph and I) and ice cream(Heath).

 

At 430 we snagged the other Caravan and headed home. I knew that the interstate was going to be horrible at rush hour so we took back roads home.

 

Everyone got a nap on the way home but me.

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Once we got home we started to gut the van. We got everything but the gas out of it and then called it a day. I am beat.

 

Tomorrow morning I will take the engine out the yard machine and stuff the carcass in the back of the van. Since it was rolled into a creek it is in pretty bad shape. I want a few parts off the engine though.


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#2283 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted August 05, 2014 - 09:30 PM

I didn't get much done that I actually planned on doing.

 

So this morning I slept a good bit later than I had planned. I guess I was tired from the long awakeathon yesterday.

 

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I was actually awakened by the sound of Carmel smashing her way out the back door that Steph didn't get latched all the way.

 

When I went to close the door I saw Steph was working on the Caravan.

 

I felt like I had done 7000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 situps yesterday. I don't really know why but my stomach muscles were screaming. Maybe I worked out in my sleep.

 

The MTD that was going to the crusher today had someone who wanted it. Our own JacobD contacted me and said he wanted to trade it for a couple of carcases he had. So I had Steph put the MTD up on the trailer while I returned phone calls. Then I took it over to him.

 

I was supposed to go get a load of shelving on the way back from Jacobs, but I got a call from the guy who told me his son had decided to build a building out of them. I have a feeling I will get them sooner or later.

 

I got home and my stomach was on fire. I swear I didn't do a single situp on purpose. I also found Gradys tractor in my back yard. He was tinkering with it and dropped a bolt down in the carb. Not sure if I can fish it out or not.

 

I was supposed to take the Caravan to the crusher and then go get a Mustang. However that didn't happen.

 

Steph had a doctors appointment that I didn't know about so she left. There was no way I was wrestling a car by myself today. I called and rescheduled for tomorrow.

 

Then Jacob contacted me and asked if I had the breather for the MTD. I told him it was in the yard and he said he would head over and get it.

 

I was wrong. When Steph loaded it up on the truck she put the breather cover in the toolbox of her truck. It was with her in Charlotte.

 

So Jacob hunted around and found a tire for the MTD and he left. I went over to have a word with my neighbor who was out chasing Stephs chickens out of her flower bed.

 

I came back in and got 4000 calls texts and emails.

 

One gal who lived close had a Buick Park Ave Ultra that we agreed on a price. She told me the car was complete except for the catalytic converter.

 

I called Stpeh and she was stuck in traffic.

 

When she finally got home I got the parts for Jacobs MTD and we all left. The Caravan was still on the tow dolly and I didn't feel like taking it off so I figured we could pull it with the tow rope.

 

I needed cash so we went to the ATM in Crouse. It was out of order. SO we went to Walmart. Their ATM was out of order too. SO Steph bought some stuff and got cash back.

 

We dropped off Jacobs parts and then went over to get the Buick.

 

 

Rule #1 is look under the hood and check for a cat. Since I knew it didn't have a cat I didn't look. Big mistake.

 

Steph drove the OX and I steered the Buick home.

 

When we got here I opened the hood. There no supercharger (the only reason I agreed on the price) or alternator. I called them and the guy told me it was bought as is then started laughing. I really wanted to drive back over there and park the car in his living room.

 

For dinner we had salad, fish, and mac and cheese. Heath didn't want his salad so he went in the kitchen and got an apple. The kid is a mess.

 

 


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#2284 jacobd OFFLINE  

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Posted August 05, 2014 - 09:52 PM

Wow the guy screwed you out of having a supercharged buick? I'd hire some goons to go teach him a lesson, that ought to be a federal offence.



#2285 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted August 05, 2014 - 10:03 PM

Wow the guy screwed you out of having a supercharged buick? I'd hire some goons to go teach him a lesson, that ought to be a federal offence.

I will give you his address, but I have to warn you his wife weighed more than the car does. She might just fall on you.



#2286 jacobd OFFLINE  

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Posted August 05, 2014 - 10:34 PM

Haha. Sounds like he's already been getting what he deserves. And after all what goes around always comes around, sooner or later.



#2287 toomanytoys84 OFFLINE  

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Posted August 06, 2014 - 07:36 AM

Dishonest people like that really drive me nuts.  He knew darn well he was lieing to you, but whatever.



#2288 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted August 06, 2014 - 07:07 PM

Great balls of fire!!

 

 

Well this morning we all dragged ourselves out of bed to start a long day..

 

coffee-tea-cup-fire.jpg

 

First the Caravan had to go to the crusher. Before we could leave we had to get the CubCadet Carcass I got from JacobD in the back of it. So the mobile crane was called into service and we got it shoved inside in short order and then left.

 

The drop off was uneventful so we headed home.

 

While this was going on I kept getting texts from my Hex wife (no that is not a typo). Almost as soon as Jared got to AZ he decided he did not want to stay in AZ. He wants to come back to NC and stay with his grandmother. I started getting texts from her on late Monday evening. I told her I did not want him staying there unsupervised all day while she was at work. I forgot I was talking to the woman who can blow anything out of proportion. Well this morning she told me that he and his friend who went there from NC with them have left the house and she is calling the police.

 

I tried to call Derek's (Jareds friend) phone and was having no luck. So I called the grandmother. She was very short with me on the phone which is 180 degrees from how she usually respond to me and she hung up quickly. As soon as she hung up I got a text from the Hex that her mom was mad that I said eh couldn't live with her.

 

So I called her mom again and clarified my position. I never said that he could not live with her – I said I didn't want him there all day unsupervised while she was at work. Suddenly her whole attitude changed. She said she was changing her work schedule ( she in an in home nurse) to be able to be home with him. SO once that was cleared up I tried to get in touch with the boys again.

 

Finally I got home without having an aneurism.

 

Then the Buick had to be pushed around into the work area. So Steph got in it and I shoved it aroudn with the OX. And pushed my front bumper into the tire. SO that had to be pulled out. No biggie except for the fact that Christine did not want to run. A quick peek under the hood revealed a sensor had come unplugged. A zip tie and all was right with the world. The bumper was pulled out (it had a weak aftermarket mount to lift it up for the 3 inch body lift that the PO put on it).

 

Then the Buford got shoved up on the dolly with the Hemorrhoid and we got to work taking it apart.

 

The Caravan had horrible gas in it. It appeared to have sand or sugar in it. SO that went in a 5 gallon bucket with a lid on it and the nice clean gas out of the Buford went in my truck.

 

Once that was all done we headed off. We were all hot and sweaty and so we stopped for some cold drinks and then off to the scrap yard. On the way down I called the guy I was supposed to get a Mustang from and he said he sold it to a buddy who was going to drag race it.

 

After we had to car off the dolly and all the lug nuts off we had to wait a while for the loader operator to get there.

While we waited Jared called me. He said he realized that he really didn't want to live in AZ because of things with his mom and her boyfriend. We talked for a while and I got much more information than I had been getting from the Hex. The boyfriend got the Hex pregnant then stole her money and left her. Great guy. The Hex will not press charges against him. The girls are safe, because she does not let them out of her sight. Him she really doesn't care about. I felt better about him coming back after talking to him.

 

I finally called the office and asked if the loader operator was asleep in a corner. In two minutes he was there.

 

Once the tires were loaded in the OX we got our check and left.

 

It was time to eat – 2pm- so we stopped at Tommy's Drive-in and got food. I had a liver mush sandwich and a foot long hotdog that I shared with Heath. Steph got a huge cheeseburger.

 

Heath was really getting tired he was barely eating.

 

On the way home we went by the bank to deposit the checks and then went home. Heath went down for nap.

 

Steph and I went outside and I gave her some stuff to do and I took Christine and the little trailer and headed off to Lenoir (Which my GPS pronounces as Lenwoor) to get a broken Craftsman.

 

AN hour drive and I had it loaded up and headed home.

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the guy said he mowed the yard with it, parked, got off, and it the front end collapsed. I have another axle for it. It started right up and I backed it almost all the way on the trailer before the axle dug into the tailgate.

 

On the way back Steph sent me a text that she had a monster fire that she barely got put out. She was burning a small pile of sticks and grass that she raked out of the work area and decided to put some of the bad gas on it to make it burn better. So she carried the bucket close to the fire and started to pour it in a cup to toss in the fire. The whole bucket went up. Fortunately I have (had) a large fire extinguisher close at hand and she put it out. She did not get burned. I swear I am going to have to hide the matches from her. At least Heath was inside in his bed.

 

This is all that is left of the bucket.

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This tree used to all be the same color.

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#2289 KennyP ONLINE  

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Posted August 07, 2014 - 05:14 AM

Don't have to worry about the bad gas now!



#2290 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted August 07, 2014 - 08:55 PM

Whew!!

 

 

Well today started off slowly. After the mad rush yesterday I didn't have any jobs till this afternoon.

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So Heath and I watched a bunch of silly song videos on Youtube while Steph did whatever she does when I am not looking.

 

At 130 we had to leave. So we did.

 

First stop was the QuikTrip for gas and food. I live their griddle cake, egg, and bacon biscuits. Steph got pizza and Heath got a lunchable.

 

As we headed up the interstate a car passed and the woman was texting away at 70MPH. She had a sign on the back of it for piano lessons with a phone number and another I love Jesus sticker. I had Steph send her a text that said, “Jesus doesn't want you to text and drive.” I saw the woman’s head swivel around like she had been slapped. She got next to me and smiled real big then sent a text back that said, “ I wasn't” Steph said, “You are now.” Then the woman sped off into traffic.

 

It was a fairly uneventful trip up to the guys house where I snagged yet another Suburban. This one is an 86 and has no engine or trans. It is in a lot better shape than I expected. It will be a donor for Ol'Smokey.

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We didn't have any trouble loading it and soon ( after Heath had had time to run around his yard) we were headed to Whole Foods.

 

Steph has been there before. She neglected to tell me that the hippie store is not set up for one aircraft carrier sized truck, let along one towing an even bigger aircraft carrier sized truck on a dolly that is wider than both truck. I thought I was going to have nervous breakdown trying to navigate the narrow passages around the store. There is no way I was going to try to get in the parking lot.

 

After successfully navigating the labyrinth of high dollar luxury cars I found an empty parking lot close to a building that is under construction and parked. I told Steph she had to walk to the store because that was as close as I could get. It was only a half a block so it wasn't too bad.

 

While she was in getting the dried fruit that Heath would kill for I tightened the straps on the dolly.

 

She called me when she came out and I picked her up on the corner. When I pulled out of the parking lot there were 4 guys watching to see if I ran over the landscaping. I didn't they were all shaking their heads when I got it unwound.

 

Then we got caught in traffic on the way to the cigar store. I haven't seen Darryl in a few months so we needed to get by there.

 

We finally arrived and he gave Heath a tiger golf club cover. Heath handed it to me and ran off to play with his truck on the sidewalk.

 

After we talked to Darryl for a bit we had to foray into rush hour traffic again. It was a bear. No one wanted to let me change lanes. Every time I hit my turn signal some fool would speed up to cut me off. I finally just started sticking the tow dolly fender between cars and forcing my way over.

 

By the time we got to Gastonia we were all three starved. It was 730. We stopped for food.

 

There is an new place called Bacon's that we tried.

Heath got in some hauling practice while we waited. Note the properly secured load.

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I had a rib eye sandwich, Steph had lemon pepper chicken, Heath had both. Food was good. It was 815 when we left there.

 

Then Steph wanted to go over to CherryBerries and get some frozen yogurt. $10 later and we were scarfing down the sugary goodness.

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When we walked outside after eating this tiny little Asian lady walked up and said, “You have battery jump?”

 

I looked a bit confused and she said,” Car no start.” So I figured she meant battery cables.

 

I told her I couldn't get to her car but I could push it over to mine. It was her turn to be confused until I pointed to the 45 foot long monstrosity parked across a bunch of parking spots.

 

She said,”You do I no know how.” SO I did. Fortunately a Mitsubishi Montero is not all that heavy and the parking lot was sloped the right direction.

 

Once I was next to my truck I went back to get the cables and Steph got the hoods of the trucks open. Heath was busy eating the dried fruit on the front seat of the Ox. I checked to make sure the cables were tight and the negative came off in my hand. It is one of those odd tapered terminals and it was on upside down. I turned it over and tightened it up. It fired right up.

 

The little lady ran to the passengers side of the Mitsu and did something then started saying,” I kiss baby.” Well by that time Heath had his fill of dried fruit and had climbed over all the seats and was Standing in the open back door of the Ox. She ran back to him and hugged him and put a $20 in his hand. I told her she didn't have to do it and she said,” I already do. I buy your CherryBerry.”

 

Steph did not even realize he had the money in his hand.

 

So we headed home. One stop for a splash of gas and we wound up our 175 mile day.

 

Tomorrow I have to go down to Greenville, SC and get an old friends daughters Furd Windfart and bring it back up here to a mechanic. Fortunately he is footing the bill for that.

 

 

Heath did not have a nap today. Poor little monster was drooping big time when Stpeh tossed him in his bed. He yelled for about 3 seconds then was out like a light.


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#2291 larrybl ONLINE  

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Posted August 07, 2014 - 09:14 PM

I love reading your posts, especially after a Monstrous day I had at work. 


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#2292 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted August 08, 2014 - 08:35 PM

The things I do for my friends.

 

 

Well this morning I woke up after about 6 hours of sleep Woohooo-

 

towcoff.jpeg

 

 

Then I got more phone calls from the ex. Geex.

 

She said she was going to call social services start all kinds of trouble for Jared's Grandmother. I told her that I was giving him my permission to come back to NC and since he was 16 he didn't need it anyway. She got mad and slammed the phone down.

 

About 20 seconds after I got off that call I got a call from Jared’s grandmother. I got her calmed down again and told her that I had given him permission to come back so he had parental consent and there was nothing anyone could do.

 

Then I managed to contact Jared and Derek and find out that their bus had made it as far as Memphis and they were still alive.

 

Then I sat and thought about putting some whisky in my coffee after all that. Whew.

 

While I was dealing with that garbage, Steph went out and got the parts Suburban off the tow dolly. Then she came in and got Heath ready to go. Since I was still in my undies she brought me some clothes.

 

Once I was more presentable I went out and moved the trailer with the broken Craftsman and Grady's trailer with his non running Yard Machine on it over to the shade.

 

Then we loaded up in the Ox and headed out.

 

In SC we stopped for gas at $3.05 instead of the $3.45 in NC. $60 in gas a box of doughnuts, a cup of coffee, a large lemonade, and a bottle of apple juice later and we were on the road.

 

As we got close to Greenville it was raining pretty good and people were flying past. I told Steph it was about time for someone to do something stupid. A short time later someone did because traffic stopped. It took us 45 minutes to cover the last 15 minutes of the drive.

 

While we sat in traffic my friends daughter called and asked how far out we were. I told her we were stuck in traffic and she said she had to leave to pick up her daughter at church so she would leave the keys to the van under the floor mat.

 

When we got there she pulled in behind us. She had forgotten something. We got loaded up and then headed out.

 

Since my birthday is this month I got to take Steph to her favorite restaurant. I am not exacxtly sure how that benefits me, but I like Genghis Grill too.

 

On the way there we got to an intersection that was super busy. There were actually 4 intersections in about a half mile with traffic lights and they were timed terrible. A genius decided to turn off the main road and them immediately attempt to turn left across traffic on the side road – which was bumper to bumper. Since no one could back up to let him through he just sat there and gummed up the works. After 3 signal changes I was getting ready to go drive his car off for him. He finally got tired of all the honking and went on.

 

I had to drop Steph and Heath off at the door and then go park the truck/van combo in the busy parking lot. I found 4 spaces together and managed to squeeze inside.

 

After we had our food some people came in who had never eaten there before. The server said she would come back and walk them through how it is done. While she was gone I gave them a couple of pointers on how to get their bowl stuffed full. When they came back they thanked me.

 

Heath stole my hat.

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After we ate Heath was playing with my wallet and found something in there sharp enough to cut his finger on. It bled pretty good so I hustled him out to the truck for a band-aid. No sense in letting everyone in the restaurant have to see him bleed.

 

Once he was bandaged all was right with the world.

 

As we were within 10 miles of the house we got behind a drink driver. As I was getting ready to call we came up on two cops sitting in a parking lot. I told them and they said there was another cop down the road and they would radio him. We were at our turn anyway so we went on home.

 

I opened the front door and the dogs burst into the yard and ran around like mad.

 

Heath got to run around the house a bit until he started to get in trouble. He didn't have a nap today either. He was tired.

 

215 miles today. Hopefully tomorrow after I drop the van off at the shop I won't have to go anywhere else.


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#2293 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted August 11, 2014 - 08:29 PM

Another wonderfully wet day.

 

 

This morning I woke up to the sounds of torrental downpour.

 

Raining-Coffee-897x1024.jpg

 

 

Steph and Heath had to go to Charlotte so they left and I sat here and watched the water flow past my window.

 

At about 230 the 4rain let up and the sun came out and I had things to do. The dogs and I went outside to get busy.

 

The back yard has not been mowed in over a month for one reason or another. Everytime we go out to mow something happens. Last time Steph made about 10 laps and the Hemorrhoid ran out of gas. By the time she got back with gas it was pouring rain.

 

SO now I need a baler to run through the yard.

 

About the time I finished with the back yard Steph got home. She took Heath in and put him down for a nap.

 

While I was making the final lap I finally managed to get Carmel and the Rooster playing.

 

http://youtu.be/TCKS...LxjprGGP8XvZYhg

 

The parts Suburban got dropped in the front yard and was kinds floating there. When we hooked it to the OX I had to use 4wd to get it around back.

 

Then the passengers door, dash, radio, radiators, ac condenser, heater core, tilt steering column ( which required removing the brake booster), all the wiring we could get our hands on, and the headlight bezels came out. The back glass was in there caddywompus so I had to climb in the back and disassemble the tailgate while it was still closed. It was about 11,000,000 degrees in there. By the time I was finished I was just as soaked as if I had jumped in the pool fully clothed.

 

Finally the gas had to be drained. I am not sure what Steph has been using my air chisel on, but it was in sad shape. I had her go get the grinder so I could touch it up and make it usable again.

 

Fortunately there was less than a gallon of gas in it since what came out looked like tea.

 

After using the Hemorrhoid to move the tow dolly in front of the shell, then hooking the Ox up, and pulling the remains up with a come along I was done. I sloshed in to the house while Steph strapped it down and then tossed the tools in the back of the OX. I told her to not even bother organizing them it was too darn humid.

 

I came in and got Heath up from his nap.

 

Chicken is in the oven.


Edited by UncleWillie, August 11, 2014 - 09:12 PM.

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#2294 UncleWillie OFFLINE  

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Posted August 12, 2014 - 06:10 PM

Not much got done today.

 

 

 

This morning my alarm went off and I said BLAH and hit snooze a time or two.

 

sqcoffee.jpg

 

Then we had to get the Suburban shell off to the scrap yard.

 

It is a good thing we didn't have a lot to do because Steph must have slept funny. She woke up with rectal cranial impaction. I swear it was like trying to work with a squirrel with ADD jacked up on coffee.

 

We got some stuff loaded up in the Burb despite her affliction and then left.

 

At the scrap yard we have a routine. I pull into the car area and stop. She gets out and takes the pin and collar off the tilt on the tow dolly. I stay in the truck because on occasion I have to pack it up a tiny bit to get it to release. Then I go back and we take the straps off, toss them in the truck, then I pull the dolly out from under the vehicle, and then she puts the tilt down and put the collar and pin back on it.

 

Well this morning she walked to the back of the truck and just stood there. I yelled for her to pull the pin. She bent over to where I couldn't see her and for all I knew she fell asleep. I finally yelled, “did you get it out?” She said she had so I shut the truck down and walked back.

 

I grabbed the wrench to release the straps and I saw that the collar was moved,but the pin was still in. I pointed it out and she said, “Oh I don't know why I put it back in.

 

Once the truck was off the dolly I headed back for the drivers seat. She got in the passengers side. I could see that the cradle was still tilted. I asked her about it and she just looked at me like I had three heads. Finally I convinced her to go put the cradle down.

 

I swear if I didn't know any better I would say she had been smoking weed this morning.

 

We got back home with me strangling her. About halfway there I swear there was an audible click of brain turning back on.

 

I was supposed to take Jared to get him registered for classes so I left to get him. On the way there I was trying to call the school to see what we needed to get him in. I realized it was stupid to drive an hour to get him if I didn't have everything I needed. So I pulled over in the parking lot of the gas station that the weather destroyed a couple of months back and kept calling.

 

I finally got someone who sent me to someone else who was busy and I got her voice mail. So I turned around and went back home.

 

Just as I got here the phone rang and it was the school. There was one thing I was going to need that I did not have, so I am glad I didn't waste the gas.

 

After I hung up the phone it got dark outside. Steph was leaving to go to the grocery store so she took the dogs for one last pee.

 

 

Then it rained. I mean so hard it looked like a waterfall coming down my window.

 

Once the monsoon subsided Steph came home and I went out to help her with the groceries. It was so humid that just bringing in four bags of food I was sweating.


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#2295 KennyP ONLINE  

KennyP

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Posted August 12, 2014 - 06:31 PM

Is it getting squirrely there, Willie?


  • UncleWillie said thank you




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