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The Adventures Of My New Hat


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#2221 KennyP ONLINE  

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Posted July 11, 2014 - 06:44 PM

They can poke holes where you least want them to!


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#2222 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted July 12, 2014 - 06:11 PM

I need a nap.

 

I got to bed at 1am. At 130am a vehicle with no exhaust drove past very slow, went down the road, turned around, and then left. My thought was they were lost. I tried to go to sleep.

 

At 145am it came back. Same thing down the hill and back up. Only this time they stopped in front of the house. I grabbed my robe and went out the front door. I couldn't see the vehicle because of the arborvitae trees, but as soon as I stepped outside they drove on. I went back in and laid down..

 

200am they came back. As soon as I heard them I grabbed my robe and went out the front door. It was a black Ford Ranger. They stopped in front of the house again.

 

I walked to the tree line and looked just as they turned the truck off. I hustled back in the house for my pistol and a flashlight.

 

I came thru the trees behind the truck as quiet as a mouse. Walked up to the passengers window and hit the button on my flashlight. It flashed for about 1/20th of a second then died. Dead batteries. It scared the driver enough to start the truck and roar up the road.

 

He went about 100 yards and the truck went silent again. Then they turned the headlights off. As I walked to the end of the treeline just to the edge of the shadows I saw that I had backup. Bob was on his porch with a shotgun.

 

The driver got out of the truck and walked to the back of it. I slowly made my way up the road. When the driver saw me he called me by name. I vaguely recognized him as a friend of the neighbors. I told him he was stupid for waking everyone up then just sitting in the middle of the road. He said when he pulled away from me his truck ran out of gas. I am still not sure what he was up to.

 

So I went back and went to bed. I managed to go to sleep at around 330 and at 630 my alarm went off. I hit the snooze and couldn't go back to sleep.

 

At 7 I rolled out of bed and...

dead.jpeg

 

 

Then we loaded up in the BlueOx and headed to Hickory to get a 2002 Mercury Cougar.

 

I had to pick the guys up who owned it and then go to the car dealership where it died in the parking lot. They were in a horrible neighborhood. So bad in fact that when I asked what was going on on a Saturday morning at a very busy building they told me it was a methadone clinic. I had the .38 under my left leg and my hand on it just in case.

 

We go the car and I took them back. Now my truck smells like welfare and desperation.

IMG_20140712_095317_996.jpg

We got home and had an hour before we had to leave. I took the opportunity to drink more coffee and get Steph to make me another pot to refill my thermos.

 

At 1230 we headed down to Buddy's house. The oxygen sensors for his van came in and I was off to put them in. He had to drive it this morning and we waited till after lunch to go down there so it could cool off.

 

By 130 I was sitting on his couch drinking his coffee watching a James Bond movie.

 

Heath was test driving a pre owned horse.

IMG_20140712_133228_844.jpg

At 3 Heath was getting pretty grumpy so we headed home and tossed him in the crib.

 

Steph and I went out and started to take the Cougar apart. After I had a lot of the engine parts off I realized it was an aluminum block. It was about 500 and we were both hot and tired. Tomorrow the engine will come out.

 

Hopefully I can get to sleep tonight.

 


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#2223 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted July 13, 2014 - 07:29 AM

Man, stuff like that will give you the heebies for sure.
Have a mental image of Willie, in a robe, with a gun and a dead flash lite... Not a good combination.

Saw this at the local show and took a picture for youimage.jpg
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#2224 olcowhand ONLINE  

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Posted July 13, 2014 - 10:10 AM

 
Have a mental image of Willie, in a robe, with a gun and a dead flash lite... 
 

 

I try hard not to go there!  :rolling:


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#2225 toomanytoys84 OFFLINE  

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Posted July 13, 2014 - 10:13 AM

As long as the robe was closed......If not maybe that's why he sped off
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#2226 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted July 13, 2014 - 10:44 AM

Thankfully, In my mental image, it's a snuggie, with the back tied well...

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#2227 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted July 13, 2014 - 01:49 PM

Robes was securely closed. Don't want to be charged with assault with a hilarious weapon.


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#2228 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted July 13, 2014 - 07:38 PM

Destroyed a Furd (ok Mercury) today.

 

 

 

Last night I actually got a good nights sleep.

coffee-addict-20110922-130821.jpg

 

Once I was upright I was tired and sore and didn't want to go out and work on the car. So I took my meds for pain and rested in my office chair a while.

 

About noon I got to feeling like moving around so I tried to work out some more kinks.

 

When Heath went down for a nap Steph and I headed outside to get the Mercury jerked apart.

 

First it had to come off the tow dolly. SO that was done and then the engine hoist (couldn't use the mobile crane for what I had planned) and jack had to be dragged over. We are working on the opposite side of the yard than we are usually on because it has shade after 2pm. We had to tote a lot of stuff over but it was worth it in the end.

 

The Falcon had dragging duties for the hoist and jack then the Hemorrhoid got fired up because it had a trailer on in already. It got used to pull smaller stuff over. Of course, true to its name, it had a problem. When she tried to start it the second time it just made a horrible noise. I went over and took a look. The starter is loose. I got it started and I will fix it tomorrow. Today I was on a mission.

 

The passengers side CV axle fought me coming off and had to be sliced with the sawzall. The drivers side saw what happened and gladly fell apart.

 

The engine game out easily enough. And was safely lowered to where it was sitting on the legs of the hoist. Then it was unchained and a big chain was hooked to the front of the car and we used the hoist to lift it up as high as it would go. With jack stands shoved under it the crane was disconnected then pulled out from under the car with the Falcon.

 

When we pulled the drain plug on the engine about a quart of water came out then 2 quarts of oil. The transmission was about equally watered down.

 

As I was finishing up the engine Graham wandered over to chat. We were too greasy for his taste lol. Steph asked him to go see if Heath was awake. He was. So Steph went in to get him and brought him out to run.

 

By the time the engine and transmission were in tiny pieces my back was screaming for mercy. Steph had to help me off the ground. I had her untie my boots out there and I went in while she picked up tools.

 

I managed to make it inside without tripping over my shoe laces and then got in the shower.

 

Now I just want to sit here and not move.


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#2229 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted July 14, 2014 - 09:13 PM

this will be brief I am posting from my phone. took the cougar to the scrap yard. then this evening I went to pick Jared up. a friend of his came with him. after I got there at the girls wanted to come too. so now I have Emily Allison Jared and Derek over here. full house
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#2230 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted July 15, 2014 - 09:58 AM

So yesterday...

 

 

 

At 8am I awakened by a horrible noise. It sounded like someone was strangling the rooster. I jumped up and as I got to the hall I realized it was coming from inside the house. And it was hot. I thought the AC had died. But as I walked the noise was coming from the living room. Then it was coming from the couch. I pulled the cushions and found an old cell phone that we use to keep Heath occupied on the potty chair. He had managed to set the alarm and it was making a horrible noise.

 

I turned that off then turned my attention to the temperature. Heath had climbed up on the back of Steph's chair and played with the buttons and had it set to change the temp to 85 several times a day. He was a busy guy.

 

 

That was a lot to do before my …

 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.jpg

 

Then I checked my online stuff and finally awakened the house.

 

We got outside and got to work. First we had to tighten the starter on the Hemorrhoid. It was almost ready to fall off.

 

Then we had to get the Cougar off the jackstands and onto the tow dolly. With no front suspension it couldn't be rolled on the dolly. The stands were in the way of the dolly so it got jacked up as high as the jack would lift it and a single stand was stuck under the center of the car. Then the Hemorrhoid backed the dolly underneath. The back end got jacked up all the way and the stand was removed.

 

The gas was drained – all half gallon of it. Then it got strapped down.

 

Once all the aluminum and wiring was loaded on Christine along with the old refrigerator. The old stove got stuffed in the back of the Cougar. Then we all headed off.

 

Heath and I took the Cougar up to the car area at the scrap yard. And we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally someone came up to operate the telehandler and pick it up off the dolly and let me get the back tires off it. Heath was having a ball watching the machinery though.

 

Steph had already unloaded the fridge and was in the warehouse unloading aluminum when we came back to the scale. She beat us to the pay window.

 

She got the money and went to the store while Heath and I came home. By the time we got here he was barely able to keep his eyes open. I didn’t realize it took us till 3pm to get all that done.

 

I had some work outside, but the sky was black. It never rained.

 

When Steph got home I had to leave to go pick up Jared. On the way up there Allison called and asked if she and Emily could come. When I got there I found that Jared had a friend with him. So 4 teenagers came home with me.

We had a grand meal of hotdogs and baked beans while watching both Ghostbusters movies. At 10 I was done and staggered off to bed.

 

 


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#2231 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted July 15, 2014 - 06:07 PM

Whew. I am tired. So is everyone else.

 

 

 

This morning my phone started ringing and so I got everyone out of bed and we got going.

coffee-men-.jpg

First order of business was getting things trimmed up around here. Since I had plenty of hands to help I figured it was a good time.

 

I sent Steph and Emily off to get ice and Gatorade and I got out my chainsaws. They are twin Craftsmans. The first one I tried to start the rope jammed on. The second one started so I took off with it.

 

While trimming the front hedge it stopped running. I pulled the rope and it jammed. So I fiddled with it and got it to go back in and got it running, but it wasn't happy. All the while I was answering phone calls every few minutes.

 

I had Allison watching Heath, and Jared and Derek were in charge of hauling limbs.

 

When Steph got home and made a cooler of Gatorade and a cooler of Ice water she grabbed a garden rake and started pulling stuff out of the hedges. Derek grabbed the pruning shears and started trimming the pieces the chainsaw missed.

 

Once the hedges were all pretty I climbed on top of Christine and started trimming trees. Steph moved the truck around so I could get at all of them. When we got back to the big oak in the dog pen the chainsaw decided it didn't want to cut any more. So I got the other one and took it apart to fix the recoil starter. Once that was done it ran perfect. Until I lost my balance and stuck it in the chain link fence. Kind of dulled the blade.

 

Soooo the other blade got jerked off and put on the runner. Then I had a cutting machine. Man did it go. IN short order the apple tree was cut and the dead tree in the chicken pen was history.

 

Once everything was trimmed up. We loaded the Aerins with the bad engine up on the big trailer and hooked it to the BlueOx. Jared, Derek and I headed off to deliver it.

 

The new owner handed me some green paper and we left to get a load of scrap from a regular customer.

 

After we were loaded up we headed to a gas station because the OX was on fumes.

 

I grabbed 2 raspberry filled doughnuts while the boys grabbed sandwiches.

 

While I was pumping gas the boys jumped out of the truck and showed me their sandwiches. They were both moldy. So they went back in and got something else.

 

ON the way home we saw this sight.

IMG_20140715_180250_392.jpg

 

We headed home and the boys moved two tractors that were in the way to the back of the shop.

 

Finally we were all tuckered out. Steph and baked chicken, potatoes and green beans ready when we walked in the door.

 

 

It was a good day.

 


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#2232 KennyP ONLINE  

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Posted July 15, 2014 - 06:40 PM

Sounds very busy to me! Glad you had extra help handy!


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#2233 UncleWillie ONLINE  

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Posted July 16, 2014 - 10:21 PM

So what didn't we do today...

 

 

This morning at 630 the alarm screamed at me...

 

sterile.jpeg

Then I woke the boys up and we all headed out. Carmel came along for the ride too.

 

The scrapyards web site said they opened at 730. We got there at 729 and waited. At about 8 I called the office to see what time they opened. Eight. He told me to go ahead and cross the scales.

 

So we unloaded, got cash, and headed home. On the way back I stopped and had the boys snag a couch that some dumbass had tossed out on the side of the road.

 

We got home at 835. We got stuff loaded up in Christine and then a convoy headed down to Shelby. I was in the Ox with Jared, Emily, Allison, and Derek. Steph was in Christine with Heath. Graham was in the car by himself.

 

I stopped at the dump in Shelby and Steph took Graham on to Buddy's house to get started with the trees. Once the sofa was off in the dumpster we joined them.

 

Many trees were sliced and diced by Graham and I while Jared and Derek loaded limbs on the big trailer. As soon as I got started I realized we had forgotten the ladder. I sent Steph back to get it. Allison rode with her.

 

Emily and Heath rode around the yard on the Falcon ( which came along to drag the big limbs).

 

Buddy left for work and in about 10 minutes was back. His truck was barely running. I poured some Seafoam in the intake and then I noticed that no smoke was coming out the tailpipe. Quick check with the non contact thermometer showed the cat was plugged. He went in to make some calls to get a price on a cat.

 

There was one huge limb that was hanging over Buddy's shop. We managed to cut the end of it off in small pieces by standing on the top of the building. Once we got off the side we had to do something else.

 

After doing some looking around and studying it we took my blue Amsteel winch cable and attached it to the farthest end of the branch I could reach. Then Steph put a snatch block on the basketball goal pole. The other end of the cable was hooked to Christine. I got up and started to cut the back side of the limb as Steph backed Christine up slowly. Once I was halfway through it folded and fell nicely beside the shop. I estimate it is about a 400 pound pecan limb. I would have made a nice hole in the roof if I had miscalculated.

 

At around 1130 we had nearly everything cut when I pulled the rope out of my chainsaw. Grahams was too heavy to be swing around on a ladder so we called it. Graham headed home. Buddy and I decided that we would get a straight pipe stuck in his exhaust until he could get his big job done and be able to buy a cat.

 

Then we all headed home.

 

As we turned on highway 150 I had a strap come loose. There was a turnoff up the road so I was going to pull over there. As we got close we saw a red car sitting in the oncoming lane. Other drivers were swerving to avoid him. When we got close the driver was slumped over the center console. We got pulled over and I started to walk to the car to see what was wrong when an other car came over the hill and slammed on his brakes to keep from hitting the ford. The driver sat up and took off – in the wrong lane.

 

I told the boys to jerk the trailer off Christine and I spun her around and went after him. Heath was in his car seat yelling WHEEEEEEEEE. My plan was to catch up to him and call the cops. 3 miles later I found him sitting in a parking lot passed out again.

 

I approached the drivers window and knocked on it. He sat up. He had a glass pipe in his lap. I told him to turn the car off and put it in park. He did, but when I told him to give me his key he tried to drive off. I shoved my arm through the 3 inch opening in the window and shut the car down. When I told him to put it in park he said no. I told him I would drag him out in the parking lot and beat his ass till the cops got there. He complied. I took his key.

 

About 20 minutes later the cops arrived to scoop him up. He told them he wasn't doing any drugs and I told them there was an orange and black pipe in the floor. He went to jail.

 

I got back to to the family and we got the trailer hooked back up to Christine and we headed home to eat PapaJohns.

 

Buddy called and said he had decided to not get the pipe welded on his truck because it started to run better. I am waiting for him to call and say he is broken down somewhere.

 

I took the Ox up to my friends to get a catalytic converter welded on it. Jared and Derek went with me.

 

After he cut the cat off I had to st art her up and hear the big block roar. It was sweet.

 

Once he got it on I started it and it was almost as loud. The passengers side exhaust flange gasket was done for. We kept looking at it and trying to figure out why it had such a huge gap in it. It didn't make sense.

 

So we came home in a roar of half an engines exhaust. It sounded like a wet fart.

 

Steph had dinner ready when we got home.

 

Autozone had a gasket so Steph and I went out and pulled the remainder of the old one off and then Allison and I headed to Autozone. With a new gasket I hand we headed home.

 

Steph and I got to working on the gasket. When I started putting it together there was nearly a 1.4 inch gap in the flange. I made no sense at all. Then Steph went and looked at the other side. The idiot PO put the passengers side together wrong and the springs were in the center of the flange and not on the nut side. He had tightened it up so much that he had jammed the nuts to the studs.

 

Since I couldn't get them off we had to cut some u shaped spacers out of some steel stock and slide them in. After having to ad 2 similarly cut washers to them it sealed up nice and tight.

 

Now tomorrow I can take it to get inspected and get it legal so I can go to court on Friday for my expired tag ticket.

 

Finally at 1030 Steph and I dragged ourselves in the house and into the shower.

 

Tomorrow I am going to try to sleep a little bit before I head off to get the truck inspected.


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#2234 OldBuzzard ONLINE  

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Posted July 16, 2014 - 10:37 PM

Dang!

 

Sounds like you were busier than a buzz saw in a pine knot.

 

Also, a big WELL DONE, on getting that bozo off the read before he managed to get someone killed. :thumbs:  :thumbs: :thumbs:  :thumbs:  :thumbs:  


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#2235 HDWildBill ONLINE  

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Posted July 17, 2014 - 09:41 AM

Your braver then I am sticking your arm in the window like that. That idot could have taken off with your arm stuck and Uncle Willy flapping in the breeze.   I am glad you got him off the road.






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