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Door To Door Salesmen


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#16 GTTinkerer OFFLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 12:19 PM

Don't seem to see as many of them around as there used to be but back in my younger days living around military installations we would get two or three a week selling everything from encyclopedias to $1000 vacuum cleaners to pots and pans. I used to keep a 12 gauge pump shotgun sitting by the front door with a cleaning rod in it and when they knocked my wife would ask them in and I would pick up the shotgun to run the patch in and out a few times, grab a couple of rounds and start to slide them into the tube. Usually by then the salesman was all done talking and eager to leave. With alcohol involved it seemed a lot funnier though.
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#17 John@Reliable OFFLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 02:58 PM

Also have a recording of that irritating fax machine dial up noise, that I play when I see that salesmen are calling on the phone. Simply pick up the phone and hit play. They don't usually stay on very long, or call back.

Seems that their was more phone sales calls in the pass, always around dinner time. I loved this game I started, my youngest daughter who was about 4 at the time and loved to talk on the phone (still does), so when ever these calls came in I would just hand the phone to her and the rest of us would finish dinner. Some of the morons would talk to her for 10-15 minutes :bounce:
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#18 grnspot110 ONLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 04:17 PM

Our town has an ordinance against door-to-door sales (have to have a city license), so we don't get many. Although, it seems like every summer I have to tell some (non-local) asphalt salesman that "just happens to have 'xx' tons left from another job", where the road is. That's just before I call the city cops & tell them what he's driving & what direction he went! ~~ Lowell
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#19 JDGuy445 OFFLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 04:35 PM

How do you handle salesmen/solicitors at your door? Ignore them? Invite them in? Sic the dog on them?

Well, if its actually reasonable (say, tractor parts) I may listen. Otherwise, tell them to leave, if that don't work I tell them again, this time a bit more angry, then comes your third option. ( which works wonders) :smile1: .

When I was little, a guy selling refrigerators came. Dad answered and told them politely to leave. ( Didn't work) then told them to leave with more force ( Didn't work). Anyways, my grandfather and I were going to go squirrel hunting. When he saw us with the guns he made a run for it. :D Poor guy must've needed new pants. :rolling:

On a side note it's never interesting nor do we get many. Maybe 1 or 2 a year if that. I guess with the mean dog that's on a small leash ready to attack they don't like to stick around. The fido did get one, one year. A asphalt salesman came, well the leash broke and he went for them. They got back into the truck awful quick. Last time I saw them. We do get some callers though. We see what they have and then give it a quick speel of how we don't like them and then tell them to take a hike. Works good so far. We also have a gun hanging in the doorway (doesn't work anyway) but we've had a guy one year for silverware and such. I gave him the the nod to come in. Dad reached up, got the gun and then started cleaning it right there. Then he gave us the "I forgot what I was even selling" and left.

Edited by JDGuy445, August 28, 2012 - 04:47 PM.

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#20 KC9KAS ONLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 05:21 PM

If and when a door to door salesman shows up, I say "Wait right there while I get my gun!" When I get back with the gun, they are gone!
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#21 HydroHarold OFFLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 05:32 PM

Other than the usual BS... uh, that's Boy Scouts... and a couple neighborhood kids selling candy so's the school will let them finish with a higher grade, I have developed an "act" that seems to work with all adult sales/religious/political canvassers. When I go to the door I hold up my hand in my best Moses impression and say, "WAIT!" I absorb the frozen stricken look for a moment and then announce,
"Religion...? Politics...? Sales? I don't do any of that whatsoeveeeer!"

By the time I get to "sales" I try to seem a bit urgent as strangely as I can. I'd like to imitate Jack Nicholson in "The Shining", but my wife won't let me do that. "I have to live in this neighborhood...!", she says. :dancingbanana:
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#22 olcowhand ONLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 05:35 PM

Oh Harold, just go to the door nekkid (and yes Alan, I know how it's spelled proper lol)! That should do the trick! :rofl2: ..... :smilewink:
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#23 shorty ONLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 05:39 PM

I find the telemarketers most frustrating. Calling at mealtimes, they just don't get me to buy anything. Best one I had was one selling electric. He needed some info off my current bill to see how much he could save me each month, said he would hold while I find the last bill. So I decided to finish reading the newspaper, after almost half an hour I was finished with the newspaper and he was still waiting. I almost felt sorry for the guy, but I did tell him not interested several times before wasting his time on nothing.
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#24 New.Canadian.DB.Owner OFFLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 06:48 PM

I usually start with something like "You can't see me. I'm a giant penguin."
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#25 Cvans ONLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 07:17 PM

This is interesting. I usually just tell them I'm not interested and if they don't get the hint then I close the door and let them talk to themselves. I think the worst mistake you can make is to let them through the door. :(
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#26 olcowhand ONLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 07:22 PM

A lot of times, neighbors will call to warn me, so then I just don't go to the door at all. When I can't avoid them, like when I'm already outside, I usually just tell them I'm flat broke, but will take whatever they have as a donation. They're not much for making donations evidently, as my statement leads them back to their car.

#27 rubberfish OFFLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 07:23 PM

I usually start with something like "You can't see me. I'm a giant penguin."

Dude. That's some screwed up. lol lol lol
I'd be turning around and shaking my head down your driveway.
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#28 johndeereelfman OFFLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 07:55 PM

I find the telemarketers most frustrating. Calling at mealtimes, they just don't get me to buy anything. Best one I had was one selling electric. He needed some info off my current bill to see how much he could save me each month, said he would hold while I find the last bill. So I decided to finish reading the newspaper, after almost half an hour I was finished with the newspaper and he was still waiting. I almost felt sorry for the guy, but I did tell him not interested several times before wasting his time on nothing.


I heard of a telemarketer story one time, where the homeowner acted like a police officer. The telemarketer asked for the owner of the house, and the homeowner asked, "just how well do you know the homeowner", and as the telemarketer was trying to explain who he was, and why he was calling, the homeowner yelled, "Don't move the body yet, until crime scene investigators get here". Needless to say, there was a silence on the other end. The homeowner then asked the telemarketer, "Where were you last night around 8:15 pm", and the telemarketer was dumb enough to say he was trying to get ahold of the home owner. The homeowner then said, "I will need your full name, current living address, current phone number, hold on a minute, yelled don't touch the gun, it hasn't been fingerprinted yet, then said ok where was I, oh yeah, and don't plan on leaving the county for a while". The homeowner waited for a response, and quickly found out that the telemarketer hung up thinking he was a suspect!

Edited by johndeereelfman, August 28, 2012 - 07:57 PM.

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#29 Delmar OFFLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 08:11 PM

My favorite one was a salesman called my brother on the phone wanting to sell and install siding on houses. My brother was very interested and gave measurements and got everything worked out with the salesman. A time was set to show up and get the job going and then my brother asks if the salesman could please bring along a backhoe so as to dig up his foundation for the siding installation. My brother said there was a short pause on the phone, then the salesman asked him why. He then explained that he lived in an earth-contact home and the only thing exposed to the air was the roof of his house. The salesman hung up and never called back.
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#30 MH81 ONLINE  

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Posted August 28, 2012 - 10:18 PM

Only thing I have ever bought from a door to door salesman was about 10 years ago...

I'm working on something in my driveway, a guy walks up to me carrying an old fashioned, Honest to Goodness Broomcorn Broom with a real wooden handle.

He looks me straight in the eye and asks if I need any new transportation for the missus.

I bought a good $8 broom that day...
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