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Does Anybody Else Have This Problem?

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#1 Reverend Blair OFFLINE  

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Posted May 27, 2012 - 10:11 AM

Okay, landscaping around my place is kind of ongoing. We do a little here and a little there.

I like to do things in a certain order and leave room for my tractors to work though. Call me crazy, but you should do the levelling and put topsoil down before planting trees and so on. Once the trees are planted, you should be able to mow between them. Also, if a tree is in the way, you either move it or get rid of it. You consider where fences, flower beds, trees, etc. go. The idea is to have a yard that's functional and easy to look after as well not being too ugly.

Mrs. Rev is not that way though. She likes to put trees two feet from the fence, no matter how many times I tell her how big the deck on the LA105 is. She likes to have 18 inches between trees and flower beds even though even the push mower won't fit there. She likes to create a maze of trees and shrubs that have to be mowed between instead of a single wall of trees.

Most distressing though, is that she really, really likes to do things all willy-nilly. If she's walking through a store and sees a shrub she likes, she decides where it would look and buys is. That part of the yard might have a pile of used lumber and need levelling and topsoil, the shrubs might be in the way when I go to do those things, but she wants that shrub in right away. Then I have to try to work around them.

Yesterday we had a discussion about a weed-tree...a little Manitoba maple that seeded itself...that went like this.

Mrs Rev: What are you doing?
Me: Moving this tree.
Mrs. Rev: Why?
Me: Because it planted itself right where I want to build the tractor port.
Mrs. Rev: Where are you going to put it?
Me: In the field back there.
Mrs. Rev: It would look good in that corner by the house.
Me: No, the roots get as big as the canopy and we just fixed the foundation.
Mrs. Rev: How about over there?
Me: That's the neighbour's property.
Mrs. Rev: Here then.
Me: It'll be in my way when I'm levelling there.
Mrs. Rev: Here?
Me: That's where we park the trailers.
Mrs. Rev: I think we'll put it here then.
Me: I told you it would be in my way there.
Mrs. Rev (giving me that wife look): But we need a tree here.

Okay, I've seen the wife look before and know when to lose the argument, so I dug the hole kind of shallow and piled dirt up around it to approximate what the final level will be. That fresh topsoil I piled up is also going to be a weed magnet until I get the grass in. It will likely die because it is planted shallow and there's also a chance I'll hook it with the tractor when I do finally get around to levelling there. If it does survive, it will be difficult to mow around and the leaves will fall in a corner where they have to raked out by hand. There should be a non-deciduous shrub there, and it shouldn't get planted until just before I seed grass in that area.

I go through something like this almost every weekend of the summer. I have actual experience with landscaping. I know what works, what can be made to work, and what doesn't work. I have a basic design in mind for the yard that will make it relatively easy to maintain. This is my thing.

So how many others have this ongoing problem?
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#2 HDWildBill OFFLINE  


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Posted May 27, 2012 - 10:31 AM

Yea it's called being Married! :laughingteeth: I go through this with my wife on all kinds of different things.

#3 glgrumpy OFFLINE  


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Posted May 27, 2012 - 10:45 AM

My wife wants things, then I tell here how I think they should be and Why. She says "that's stupid" and I still do it my way and later she will look at the project and thik "that's really nice" . She can not "picture" in her mind how something is going to look till it is actually there in front of her. I found out this when building our first house. It's when I come home and find tools out that scrares me and I have to find out right away what she worked on. She also plants flowers up against house and garage sides with no real tilling and grass removal. Can't mow the weeds because of the flowers then, and she doesn't keep up with weeds. Last year finally went down whole back of house/garage with a 30" and higher than lawn timber build-up for her to garden in and still be able to mow good. I'm the BOSS in my house when it comes to changes. Just say NO! If it's OK with her that is! Ha!

#4 Alc OFFLINE  



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Posted May 27, 2012 - 10:49 AM

We have places around our yard that can't be mowed with the tractor too .(Mostly on steep banks ) I started last year cutting ivy ( Boston ?) and have them in gallon pots . Figured I would go around with the tractor and what ever I couldn't get to would gets sprayed with grass killer and then plant the ivy there .My wife wants a new flower bed in the yard and plan on making the shape that she wants with the tractor then make it there .This way I'll know no push mowing around it , Al

#5 Toolpartzman OFFLINE  


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Posted May 27, 2012 - 10:55 AM

Rev. to your question, I would say that the condition is quite commonplace. WildBill pointed that out. I can only relate to that with a personal story. I've been single/divorced/etc. about 16 years+/-.
One day a friend came by to find a ladder leaning against my living room wall. I explained it this way. Yep, it needs to go to the garage, but after installing a ceiling fan, I could hear faint echos of my long-gone ex-wife's voice saying-"Whats that doing here, get that ladder out of the living room"
So I left it there-just because I could. And after a couple weeks of enjoying it, I took it to the garage. We've all had a laugh over it. And when the subject of being single or married comes up my
reply is " Its hard to stay married when you're always right !

Edited by Toolpartzman, May 27, 2012 - 11:23 AM.

#6 sacsr OFFLINE  


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Posted May 27, 2012 - 11:17 AM

All I can say is......I have spent 27 years in the nursery/plant business.......when it goes to planting plants in the yard.....and my wife wants to put a plant some where it should not go and will not thrive......I tell her why it should not go there.....her response is always the same.....why not?? Never mind that I have 27 years in the business and know a few things about plants...... I finally decided to let her plant what she wanted where she wanted it.....(as long as it does not get in my way)......she and my daughter just planted a bed of plants.......none of it is horticulturally correct.......that being said.....I made my point and let them at it......the bed looks good and 90% of the people that look at it will not know there is an issue with it......does it drive me nuts?? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But over the years I have learned to pick my battles and for me this is not one of them.......good news I have a tractor and fel to pull and haul them out when they get too big :laughingteeth:

#7 Reverend Blair OFFLINE  

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Posted May 27, 2012 - 12:04 PM

Good to see I'm not the only one.

There's also the grass seed thing. I like to get mine from a local supplier. They have mixes that do well in our soil and climate. You just tell them what your conditions are where you are planting, and they'll match it. Buying from them supports local business and gets better results. Yeah, it costs about 10% more. So what? Grass seed is cheap so that 10% amounts to a few pennies.

I generally get a ten pound bag of general purpose every spring, then buy one pound bags if I have to plant in shade or extremely wet or dry spots. It takes care of little repairs (we have a female dog, so always dead spots) and major plantings, as well as some of those little jobs you get from friends and neighbours. Sometimes I plant grass just to keep mud and weeds down in areas I haven't gotten to yet.

This year I gave my wife the address, told her to talk to Gerry and just say who she was. I sent her because I was busy and she was driving right by the place. Instead she picked up a bag of something or other at Canadian Tire. It doesn't say what the mix is, or what conditions it prefers. I'd been using it, but it seems to have as much sawdust as seed in it and the results were sparse. It also seems to really love water, which is a bad idea around here. So I went and got my usual ten pounds of grass. Guess how the discussion when my wife saw that.

#8 Texas Deere and Horse OFFLINE  

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Posted May 27, 2012 - 12:32 PM

Guys, I know exactly what you are talking about. My wife loves to plant things in just the wrong spot. This year for the 5th year in a row, I planted a couple trees where we have planted plants and trees several times before. There is something about these 2 spots that doesn't want anything to grow, but weeds. We have had the soil checked and I have even dug down 4 feet deep to see if anything is buried down in the ground to kill the trees. She keeps having me plant things in spots that make it difficult to mow around, to close to the walk way around the pool, too close to the fence, you know what I am talking about. I keep building nice flower beds that are easy to trim around, but they are in the wrong place in her eyes. I have come to the realization that I have to plant things her way and just put up with the extra work it brings me.

#9 Cvans OFFLINE  



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Posted May 27, 2012 - 03:11 PM

Simple answer Rev. Opposites attract. You and your wife, me and my wife, and them and there wives. Just the way it is. :wallbanging:

#10 Kurtee OFFLINE  


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Posted May 27, 2012 - 03:31 PM

Hey guys, the simple answer to all of these issues is to get her another job. Oh yea, she has no time to plant in the wrong area or any of these things. Then there is the extra cash for more tractors. Looks like a win win situation to me. Ya better start looking in the want ads now. KURTEE :dancingbanana:
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#11 twostacks OFFLINE  



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Posted June 19, 2012 - 07:11 AM

Most of us are in the same boat when it comes to yard work and our wives. My only advantage is that when my wife gets the notion to plant something, that's usually all she does. Any maintenance after that belongs to me, so all I have to do is say that I was too busy with the other yard work and forgot to water the new plants. In no time at all, they're dead and gone and my problem is solved. Or I ask my son to get the grass trimmer going and he's sure to take the bark off and that'll fix 'em too. :laughingteeth:

#12 MH81 OFFLINE  


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Posted June 19, 2012 - 07:42 AM

Years ago, I put in a 3 level flower garden in the front of the house. Field stone,split rail fence, good dirt.

Hosta, ivys, pink spirea, red maple, etc. Different bloom times for the flowers... Did my homework.

All the while, she had suggestions and seemed excited.

Now it's a weed garden (that's what I call it too) and I'm contemplating ripping it all out. Easier to mow there than mow around and weed whack the tall stuff.

Sigh. Rev, I feel your pain...

#13 tinner OFFLINE  



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Posted July 13, 2012 - 08:51 AM

I have come to the realization that I have to plant things her way and just put up with the extra work it brings me.

Yep, I've learned that when Linda's happy, the whole world is happy.
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#14 olcowhand OFFLINE  


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Posted July 13, 2012 - 08:02 PM

I set the rules where I have to do the mowing, BUT I also built the wife nice flower beds, which took a lot of time & effort, and she loves them. Right now I have some of the timber borders torn out to put new ones in. I do the mowing, but she helps me with trimming, and mows with a push mower where the riders won't fit. I also help her weed/tend to her flower beds.

#15 JDGuy445 OFFLINE  

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Posted July 15, 2012 - 06:05 PM

It is how it is... You gotta put your foot down sometimes, but when you do get ready for it and brace yourself. Best of luck to you on how it goes. I luckily don't have this problem. We only got few trees in the big yard.